Looking Fine Vs. Being Fine In The Saddle

I have been trying to learn to ride for about 2 years now. It has been a long hard struggle for me and one that has been ever so slow. I have been constantly jealous of people that can just hop on and start riding. I stay in the background and keep wondering why I can't get over what ever feeling or fear I have. I think I have finally found out part of my problem.

My horse is great. He's not spooky, laid back and smart. He's also lazy which is great for a big scaredy cat like me. So the horse isn't the issue. It's always been me and being able to get in the saddle. Getting in the saddle has always been hard, but also staying in the saddle. Once on the horse and in the saddle I have felt out of control and out of sync.

A while back I had a lesson. During that lesson I was squeezing so hard with my legs I had my poor horse confused to the max. That got me to thinking. My instructor knew I was tense in my legs. She didn't know however exactly how bad it was. My jeans are very loose in the leg and by keeping my legs and feet in the right position I was able to hide a great deal of this.

From that lesson I sat down with her and we had a long talk. From her vantage point I was looking fine. We both knew the saddle wasn't ideal, but I was trying to make do. I told her that while I might look fine, I wasn't feeling fine. I felt out of balance and out ouf sync. I felt like I had no control. Out or our talk we figured out I had a huge snowball effect going on. I also figured out that the saddle I have been using is a huge part of the issue.

As a result of that talk I have gone back to the beginning. I mean the baby being led beginning. Both my instructor and I have agreed that at this point it is best for me. I have to get this issue with my legs and over all balance under control. Then the rest can come.

So last week I got in the saddle and she led me around. Of course I tighten my legs, put all my weight in the stirrup and squeeze the snot outta my horse. I catch myself and we start the process of me relaxing my legs. Now the problem is I am clenching my upper body and can't relax. We stop and start relaxation exercises. Ok this is good, but when I try to close my eyes I get dizzy and really do feel like I'm about to fall out of the saddle. Good thing my horse is so calm cause I'm grabbing for things and it's not pretty. Back and forth we go. Move foward, tense up. Stop, relax. This was my whole lesson. As simple and tedious as it was, it was the best lesson I had ever had. I got off Sky so stoked and proud of myself.

Yesterday I took another lesson. I made the comment that I felt like a baby and she told me to shut it. LOL. So we started the process all over again. The good news is that I wasn't tightening my legs and squeezing my horse as bad. Another discovery was made. When I relaxed my legs, my upper body felt like I was being pitched foward.

We already know that my body is not in the right position in the saddle. We already know that I am having balancing issues. I have my new saddle on it's way and for now the most important thing to me is getting on the horses back. Well, that's a good step, but it's also a step back in my confidence.

I struggled the whole time. It was a short lesson and finally I get out of the saddle. My instructor gets in the saddle and imediately sees what a large part of my problem is.

The saddle is old and needs work done on it. She said that it's hard and her legs are not automatically right, like with her saddle. Her legs are dropped a good amount instead of being up a bit. So she is having to work to get her legs right. She can get her legs right, but she can see where it would be a huge issue with me. She moved Sky foward and automatically noticed the being pitched foward sensation. She also could not sit in the correct position in the saddle. So seeing this kinda made me feel better. It wasn't all my lack of balance and the feeling of being out of control wasn't all just me.

I have another lesson today and I am going to use a different saddle. Hopefully I can relax and actually do something besides fight with myself and confuse my poor horse.

The lessons I have learned from this is that I have to be more open about how I feel in the saddle with my instructor. She can't know how I am feeling unless I open my mouth and tell her. While things may look fine from the ground, in the saddle it can be a total disaster.

Getting the right saddle is so very important. It should be a no brainer, but for a new rider it sometimes can be hard to figure out.

Sometimes it's not all me. Sometimes all goes back to the right equipment.

If my center of gravity is off and my balance isn't right then I'm going to struggle and fight.

By not talking candidly with my instructor I was taking blows to my confidence. I was feeling like my lack of progress was due to me being a huge wuss. The more I struggled and tried, the worse I felt about my riding ability. Which is basically nill since I wasn't talking about what I was feeling while in the saddle.

In the end I feel like I am on the right track finally. While I am still chicken, I know that it's not all just me. All of the sensations I have had from the saddle and trying to compensate one part of my body to balance myself out has been one of the main problems I have had. It's a relief to know that it's not all in my mind. That I'm not as lacking as I thought I was.

I am not fooling myself and thinking that when I get my saddle I will automatically be able to get on Sky and ride like a pro. I still have along way to go and a ton to learn. I do know that from this point foward I have a better chance to progress instead of staying in the same scared, tense, out of ballance place I have been in.

I am seeing happy trails in my future