Jump to content

Unique (read: Stupid) Ways To Injure Yourself

Posted by BuddyRoo, 16 June 2009 · 430 views

Adventures Out and About
I have been quite blessed to have suffered few serious injuries in my life. The more serious ones having been solely related to soccer (knees) or horses (arm) and they were easily explained and made decent stories.

".....I was driving down the line and setting up to take a shot and this girl did a sliding tackle from the side and took me out. It was bad, she got red carded though!....."

"...I was trying to gain control of the ball and was reaching for it when the other gal ran into me and POP! There it went."

"....I had just finished the last jump and was doing the courtesy circle when it felt like the horse was going down. I was afraid he was going to somersault and fall on me so I bailed. Not wanting him to get loose, I held onto the reins. I did tuck and roll, but he recovered after hitting his knees and yanked the reins which yanked my arm out and I fell on it. It was a terrible sound. SNG heard it from several feet away!...."

These get reactions of, "OMG. That's horrible!" and of course are in the minority.

The majority of less-than-serious injuries just make me look stupid.

Last week, I was yapping on the phone with Shelley while driving. I came up to a four way stop, shifted with my right hand. Phone was being held between my ear and my shoulder on the right side. Left arm was on steering wheel. As I looked left while all contorted around the phone, something in my neck popped. Within hours, pain was radiating down my entire left side.

I actually had to ice the snot out of it and take a pain pill that night! WTH? (well..I also took a lesson and trimmed a horse later that day--not my most brilliant move when I was already sore.) Still, you can hardly kvetch about your "injury" when it's something like, "Yeah, I tweaked my neck pretty badly talking on the phone and driving." That's like saying, "Yeah, I broke my leg while attempting to walk and chew gum." duh.gif

I've got another good car one. How do you put on your seat belt when you're the driver? Do you take your right hand, reach across your chest, grab the belt and then click it in? Or do you reach back with your left, grab and transfer to the right hand?

If the latter, you're just cruisin' for a bruisin'! That's how I tore my rotator cuff my senior year in college. When I went to the doctor, he LAUGHED and told me I should consider making up a better story! Story indeed! For several WEEKS, my then live in boyfriend had to fasten my bra and do my hair everyday before school. Now there's a story. I would recommend that if you ever have the opportunity to have your SO wield a hot curling iron that you skip it. Wear a hat or something. It's scary. Besides the risk of curling iron burns that look a lot like hickeys, short hair styles have a propensity for looking like football helmets when a man is in charge.

About three years ago, I was getting dressed for work in the morning. I sat down on my bed to put on socks and shoes. Bent over. Pop! Couldn't get back up. I was 27 for crying out loud! You should not be getting injured sitting still at 27! The next day, I popped pain pills like candy after sheepishly explaining to the doctor what I'd done and that I'd be spending the next two days on the road fetching a horse from New York. Sigh.

Luckily, I'm not the only one and I get my fair share of giggles out of other people's sad stories.

A friend of mine showed up for work with a cast on his leg and one on his arm. "Norm, what did you DO?"

"Oh, I was walking to my car and FELL OFF THE CURB, fractured my ankel and my wrist." Another story that should be modified to something more like, "I was playing rugby with the guys last weekend and......" or maybe "I tacked a man who had snatched a little old lady's purse...you should see the other guy!"

I'm sure y'all have some of your own. Please...do tell.

Well does, "I broke my ankle mowing the lawn" fit in this category?
  • Report
QUOTE (LongingtoRun @ Jun 16 2009, 02:20 PM)
Well does, "I broke my ankle mowing the lawn" fit in this category?

Yes. Especially if you were on a riding mower where there should be no plausible way to break your ankle other than getting on or off the thing.

  • Report

Sneezing and hitting your head on a table! Try explaining THAT one to friends and family and not feel stupid!

Walked into the bathroom door frame,..instant black eye!

Pulling a root out of the ground and it snapped,..busted tailbone on another root.

Falling over backwards in a chair,..bit through my tongue!

Oh I am sure there's more!Great topic!

  • Report
QUOTE (BuddyRoo @ Jun 16 2009, 12:27 PM)
QUOTE (LongingtoRun @ Jun 16 2009, 02:20 PM)
Well does, "I broke my ankle mowing the lawn" fit in this category?

Yes. Especially if you were on a riding mower where there should be no plausible way to break your ankle other than getting on or off the thing.

And, yes indeed, it was on a riding lawn mower. I stepped in a hole while doing an emergency dismount because it was tipping over while going down a hill to fast. duh.gif
  • Report
I can ditto the tailbone injury. About 8 yrs ago, I was pulling weeds in the garden, pulled really hard on one and fell backwards on a big clump of dirt. Fractured the tailbone! To this day, people still talk about when I fractured my tailbone, falling off a horse! NOT! bang_head.gif
  • Report
I got a cracked bone in my arm and lots of brusing and swelling when my 3 or 4 day old filly kicked me after I had been messing around with her feet. It really made me mad and I swatted at her and she kicked me again in the same arm! Bad move on my part. That was hard to explain to non-horsey people. "A new born horse couldn't have done that to your arm." :)
  • Report

October 2016

161718192021 22