Dominance, Leadership, Respect --- And Leading

One of the types of fads that circulate in populations is the use of word games that people play. Currently, for example, “leadership” is in, and “dominance” is out with most behavioral experts. However, their followers might or might not understand the difference between the two terms. Many horse trainers use the word “respect” instead of “dominance”, which is probably a better choice --- if you actually understand the difference.

People who insist that their horses must obey every rule in every circumstance may use any of these three terms to describe their methods, but if they do, they’re using them incorrectly. A person who insists that horses should never be allowed to break any rules is nothing but a control freak, who doesn’t really understand respect, leadership, OR dominance. When you look at respect and leadership (and dominance) among groups of animals themselves, what you see is best described by a quote from Dr. Karen Overall, a veterinary behaviorist: “The animal to which most others defer is the animal that behaves most appropriately- given the context, not the animal which must always be at the door first, or must eat first. A need to control regardless of context can be neither adaptive, nor normal.”

I was thinking about these things the other day while I was leading my horse, and I realized that the interaction I have with my horse when I’m leading her is a good example of what leadership (and respect) really is, so I thought a description of our interactions might help clarify how you can maintain control without being a control freak. I am not saying that my way is the only way, or the best way, or the way everybody else should use. However, I AM saying that it is a good example of how to be in control while still allowing the animal some leeway.

There are times when I want my horse to lead “normally.” If so, I hold the lead rope about a foot or so from her halter. In that situation, she leads the way a dog would “heel” --- staying close by my side and matching my pace without even considering doing anything else. I don’t need to pull on her --- the close hold is just her cue to lead “normally.”

Most of the time, though, I hold the end of the lead rope farthest from my horse, which is her cue that she has a lot more leeway. In essence, she can go in any direction to the full length of the lead rope as long as she doesn’t jerk on me. She can even pull on me, as long as she does so gently and briefly. I might slow down or speed up to accommodate her, but if I don’t, she has to quit pulling.

She can also give a gentle pull to indicate she wants to stop and grab a bite to eat, and I might or might not let her do so. If I don’t stop, she can’t, either, and if I do, she has to resume walking pretty much as soon as I do. (She can ask for more time by not coming immediately, and the strength with which we pull on each other allows us to gauge how much she wants to eat vs. how much I want to go. If she REALLY wants to keep eating, I might give her a little more time, but when I give her a “come NOW” signal, she has to stop eating then or lose her future eating privileges.)

Because she’s lazy, she’s usually the full length of the lead rope behind me when I’m leading her --- but she’s not pulling on the rope. She also usually asks to eat at every patch of grass we pass, but if I don’t want to be bothered, I can say no before she even asks, by giving the rope a tug as we approach the grass. That way, too, if I haven’t given her a tug, she pretty well knows I’m going to say yes if she asks to stop and eat.

When I lead her without a lead rope, the rules are essentially the same. If I want her to “lead normally”, I hold her halter (or her mane, if she’s not haltered) for the first few steps, and she knows she’s supposed to “heel” when I let go of her. Otherwise, I just say “come on”, and she follows when I walk off --- usually staying several feet behind me.

If I’m willing to let her stop and eat, I’ll stop at a grassy patch and wait for her, but when I say “come on” and resume walking, she has to come. If I don’t stop, but I walk slowly, she can grab grass as she follows along --- but just a few bites before she catches up to me. If I don’t want her to eat grass, I either walk quickly, or I keep the corner of my eye on her and say “no, come on” when she lowers her head to eat.

Most traditional horse trainers would point me out as a bad example if they saw me leading my horse, with her pulling backward or forward or sideways or stopping to eat along the way. They would say that I’m lacking in control because my horse doesn’t respect me --- and they would be wrong. If nothing else, my ability to lead my horse with no lead rope is proof of my control.

What the traditionalists don’t see is that my horse doesn’t “misbehave” unless she has my permission to do so. In reality, I don’t have any problems with disobedience when I am leading my horse --- she just has more options for acceptable behaviors than most horses. The traditionalists interpret her exercising of those options as disobedience without really seeing what they’re looking at --- which makes me wonder how much they really know.

If anything, it could be said that I have MORE control over my horse because of the additional options (and rules) that she has. Traditional leading is easy --- the only rule the horse has to learn is to stay at your side. For my horse, life is far more complicated because there are a lot more rules, but by learning all the rules, she also gains a lot more options. She can ask permission to do what she wants, and if she asks nicely, she might get to do it. In other words, she’s rewarded for obedience rather than punished for disobedience, so she is HAPPY to obey. She obeys because she TRULY respects me, not because she fears being punished. She willingly GIVES me control when I ask for it, without me having to demand it, which is what makes me a leader rather than a control freak.

When I lead my horse, I am truly LEADING her, not just forcing her to accompany me. She comes whether I have a lead rope or not, because she sees value in following where I lead. If you have this type of relationship with YOUR horse, then you may rest assured that you are “dominant”, you are the “leader”, you have your horse’s “respect” --- whatever the fad term of the day is. No matter what anybody else tells you, you DON’T have to be a control freak to have an obedient horse.