Quantcast

Jump to content

Photo

Working Student Application Letter


  • Please log in to reply
11 replies to this topic

#1 Nomad

Nomad

    an infinite character

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 220 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:through the looking glass

Posted 21 February 2009 - 03:05 PM

I know I don't post here all that often (lurker) but I could really use some help. What do you think of this letter I am sending out to trainers for a working student position?

Mr. Raid --------
Raid -------- Show Jumping Center
Dear Mr. -------,
My name is Natalie ----, I am 20 years old and I am interested in any positions that you may have at your center for a working student. I am a hard working, dedicated, and determined rider. Since I began riding at ---, horses have been my life. In the course of my time as a junior, I have had the opportunity to ride all types of horses from green to made, from ponies to large thoroughbreds, and I would like to continue my education as a working student under your tutelage. While I have not had the opportunity to show as much as I would like, I am practiced in basic horse tasks (such as grooming (maintenance and ringside), bathing, sheath cleaning, poulticing, holding for the farrier, leg wrapping, packing feet, tacking, jump crew, mucking, turnout, tack cleaning, feeding, and laundry) and excited to learn much more. I am willing to do whatever I am needed to do. I am motivated by genuine love of the horse and look forward to getting the opportunity to work with a variety of horses. Should a position become available for the summer months in your program, I would like to work in exchange for lessons and, should the opportunity become available, hacking horses.
My experiences are summarized in the enclosed resume. I am presently student Lake Sumter Community College, majoring in business management and I would also welcome the opportunity to work as your rider. Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Natalie ------
enclosure: resume and references

What do you think?
1) should I offer a trail run during my spring break period?
2) should I mention that I haven't ridden seriously in over a year?
Thanks so much! notworthy.gif

Faith can move mountains, doubt creates them.

Confucius say, "Those who jump first jump alone."

#2 Nomad

Nomad

    an infinite character

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 220 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:through the looking glass

Posted 21 February 2009 - 04:05 PM

Bump??? Should I mention my horse training experiences with greenies?
Faith can move mountains, doubt creates them.

Confucius say, "Those who jump first jump alone."

#3 OneBigJourney

OneBigJourney

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 874 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Louisiana

Posted 21 February 2009 - 04:29 PM

You should include what your plans are for the future and/or why you want to be a working student. To improve and expand your knowledge and experience with horses to become the best horseperson you can be? Or do you have an equine career ambition? Ambitious is always a good adj to describe a future employee :D

At larger barns a trial period is common (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, guys). I know if I were to become a working student at a new barn I would want a trial period to see if I liked it, I liked my boss, the other staff, riders, etc...and if they liked me!
Katie
"Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby,
to be picked up and laid down like a game of Solitaire.
It is a grand passion." - Emerson

#4 RJ&Nick

RJ&Nick

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,190 posts

Posted 21 February 2009 - 06:20 PM

DEFINITELY mention you haven't ridden in a year. If you show up and he throws you on a horse and you have no muscle, he won't hire you.

#5 Nomad

Nomad

    an infinite character

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 220 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:through the looking glass

Posted 21 February 2009 - 06:28 PM

Thanks OBJ. Is this better?

My name is Natalie Ash, I am 20 years old and I am interested in any positions that you may have at your center for a working student. I am a hard working, dedicated, and ambitious rider. Since I began riding at ---, horses have been my life. In the course of my time as a junior, I have had the opportunity to ride all types of horses from green to made, from ponies to large thoroughbreds, and I would like to continue my education as a working student under your tutelage to gain experience in the show jumping circuit. While I have not had the opportunity to show as much as I would like, I am practiced in basic horse tasks (such as grooming (maintenance and ringside), bathing, sheath cleaning, poulticing, holding for the farrier, leg wrapping, packing feet, tacking, jump crew, mucking, turnout, tack cleaning, feeding, and laundry) and excited to learn much more. I am willing to do whatever I am needed to do. I am motivated by genuine love of the horse and ambitions to someday become a competitive show jumper. Should a position become available for the summer months in your program, I would like to work in exchange for lessons and, should the opportunity become available, hacking horses.
My experiences are summarized in the enclosed resume. I am presently student Lake Sumter Community College, majoring in business management with plans on attaining a Bachelors degree in business. I welcome the opportunity to work with you to become the best horse-person and rider I can be. I would also be willing to provide a trail run during my spring break period in March. Thank you for your consideration.

Faith can move mountains, doubt creates them.

Confucius say, "Those who jump first jump alone."

#6 blümchen

blümchen

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 5,837 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Cincinnati, OH

Posted 21 February 2009 - 06:55 PM

i'd like to point out just a few things that caught my eye... i know nothing about applying for a working student position but these things might "clean up" your letter a bit.

My name is Natalie Ash, I am 20 years old and I am interested in any positions that you may have at your center for a working student. I am a hard working, dedicated, and ambitious rider. Since I began riding at ---, horses have been my life. (sounds a bit cliché) ... In the course of my time as a junior, I have had the opportunity to ride all types of horses from green to made, from ponies to large thoroughbreds, and I would like to continue my education as a working student under your tutelage to gain experience in the show jumping circuit. (long sentence. need to breathe somewhere, split it up) While I have not had the opportunity to show as much as I would like, I am practiced in basic horse tasks (sounds a little odd. basic horse... care tasks?) (such as grooming (maintenance and ringside), bathing, sheath cleaning, poulticing, holding for the farrier, leg wrapping, packing feet, tacking, jump crew, mucking, turnout, tack cleaning, feeding, and laundry) and excited to learn much more. I am willing to do whatever I am needed to do. I am motivated by genuine love of the horse and ambitions to someday become a competitive show jumper. Should a position become available for the summer months in your program, I would like to work in exchange for lessons and, should the opportunity become available, hacking horses.
My experiences are summarized in the enclosed resume. I am presently a student Lake Sumter Community College, majoring in business management with plans on attaining a Bachelors degree in business. I welcome (also sounds a little odd.. shouldn't he be welcoming you to work with him? maybe say you would appreciate the opportunity to work with him... or maybe i'm thinking about that one too much.) the opportunity to work with you to become the best horse-person (horseman might sound better here) and rider I can be. I would also be willing to provide a trial run during my spring break period in March. Thank you for your consideration.


overall, it sounds good! i agree with the above posters, and i would mention that you haven't ridden in a year. that seems important. while horseback riding does come back to you quite quickly, or it did in my experience, you will be lacking the muscle you used to have.
-brigita. or brigid.

#7 Nomad

Nomad

    an infinite character

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 220 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:through the looking glass

Posted 21 February 2009 - 09:00 PM

Thanks brigid jump.gif . I guess I should have made myself clearer earlier, I have ridden this past year but only occasionally and not jumping over 4' courses. You're right though and I did mention it in the letter but I am not completely mush yet. How's this?

My name is Natalie Ash, I am 20 years old and I am interested in any positions that you may have at your center for a working student. I am a hard working, dedicated, and ambitious rider. In the course of my time as a junior, I have had the opportunity to ride all types of horses from green to made, from ponies to large thoroughbreds. I would like to continue my education as a working student under your tutelage to gain experience in the show jumping circuit. While I have not had the opportunity to show as much as I would like and I haven’t ridden seriously in the past year, I am knowledge in basic horse care (such as grooming (maintenance and ringside), bathing, sheath cleaning, poulticing, holding for the farrier, leg wrapping, packing feet, tacking, jump crew, mucking, turnout, tack cleaning, feeding, and laundry) and excited to learn much more. I am willing to do whatever I am needed to do. I am motivated by genuine love of the horse and ambitions to someday become a competitive show jumper. Should a position become available for the summer months in your program, I would like to work in exchange for lessons and, should the opportunity become available, hacking horses.

My experiences are summarized in the enclosed resume. I am presently student Lake Sumter Community College, majoring in business management with plans on attaining a Bachelors degree in business. I appreciate the opportunity to work with you to become the best horsewoman and rider I can be. I would also be willing to provide a trial run during my spring break period in March. Thank you for your consideration.

Faith can move mountains, doubt creates them.

Confucius say, "Those who jump first jump alone."

#8 blümchen

blümchen

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 5,837 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Cincinnati, OH

Posted 21 February 2009 - 09:23 PM

"I am knowledgeable in..."
"I am presently a student..."
"I would appreciate the opportunity..."



eta: those are minor things that i caught in your revision, just to clarify. haha

Edited by blümchen, 21 February 2009 - 09:24 PM.

-brigita. or brigid.

#9 SunnyD's Mommy

SunnyD's Mommy

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,438 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:New York

Posted 21 February 2009 - 10:17 PM

Looks very similar to mine (even some of the same sentences, coincidence or a product of your reading the posts here? I don't care either way..imitation is the best form of flattery. But anyways you should search my post about a WS letter. I got some very helpful feedback both here and on COTH.
"Do only the work that marries your heart to your right hand."
-Omeros

#10 Nomad

Nomad

    an infinite character

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 220 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:through the looking glass

Posted 21 February 2009 - 10:31 PM

Brigid thank you so much I have been staring at this letter for so lone that I don't see the mistakes anymore. notworthy.gif Sunny, yea I did read your post on WS letters and I did glean a lot of information from the responses.

One more question. Do you think that it will be a strike against me for not riding/taking lessons seriously in the past year? Money has been tight for my family and the economy hasn't been helping. I just hope that the recipients of this letter are understanding towards my situation.
Faith can move mountains, doubt creates them.

Confucius say, "Those who jump first jump alone."

#11 Nomad

Nomad

    an infinite character

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 220 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:through the looking glass

Posted 21 February 2009 - 10:35 PM

QUOTE (SunnyD's Mommy @ Feb 22 2009, 03:17 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Looks very similar to mine (even some of the same sentences, coincidence or a product of your reading the posts here? I don't care either way..imitation is the best form of flattery. But anyways you should search my post about a WS letter. I got some very helpful feedback both here and on COTH.

Did you ever send your letter? If you don't mind me asking, did you get a response?
Faith can move mountains, doubt creates them.

Confucius say, "Those who jump first jump alone."

#12 PerformanceNotGuaranteed

PerformanceNotGuaranteed

    Trying to outrun whats coming

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,832 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Where the Lion was found by the Stream

Posted 21 February 2009 - 10:44 PM

I was wondering the same thing Hannah?
Shelb or Shelbs
Every horse comes into our lives for a reason. They make an impact on us. But sometimes they have to leave to make that impact on another's life.
Past Performance is not a guarantee to Future Performance-Jack

Member of the "I rode Bubba Chance Club"
RIP-Pumpkin-10-15-2008

Also EventDrifterChild
I Met Board Buddy Morning Dusk!!