Having Confidence Problems..., horseback of course Options

[AWQH]

First off, let me say it was super hard to write this, but I think I need some advice. I just can't stop riding!

As you all know my back was severely injured last August. I have ridden twice since then(no more than 10 mintes at a walk). I WANT to get back in the saddle, and be able to ride and work cattle again. I just can't get over the fear of what could happen to me if I fall and damage my spine. I have not fallen from a horse in over 10 years... so why is this fear controlling me and how can I tell the fear to just shut up and let me ride? I miss riding, I WANT to ride, and yet this stupid fear is keeping me from doing what I love.


Dianne

[Wild Rose]

I'm right there with you, only I didn't have a really bad horse accident. I have just general anxiety about getting on. It's been this way every spring, but somehow this spring, it's worse.

My advice would be to start really slow. Do whatever you can do, even if it's just to go out and saddle up, then unsaddle. Each time, do something a bit more, like lead the horse around, or put a foot in the stirrup. Next time, put weight on the foot in the stirrup.

If, at any time, you feel too nervous, go back a step. Don't blame yourself, just congratulate yourself on each step. There's no shame in going back to your comfort zone until you are ready to proceed.

This has helped me. I did this last summer until I got to the point where I could get on and off. Then on, and walk a few steps. Finally, I was riding at a walk, gradually making my circles bigger.

...But this spring...I don't know. I'm stuck. We have had many days of high winds, and cold weather. I know...excuses. But still.

I attribute my fear to way back in 1983. I didn't have horses for about 15 years before that, then got a half Arab. That horse scared me. Then I fell off one day, and I cracked a shoulder blade. I got my steady eddy, Chief, in 1989, and it was great with him. I wasn't nervous. But he got old, and I quit riding him. I got Rosie, and I'm back to square one with the nerves again. *sigh*

This post has been edited by Wild Rose: May 30 2009, 12:25 PM

[Andi]

As lots of you know ... I have been there/done that/still there.

Pain is real. Falling off a horse causes it. So my goal is to not fall off anymore! My husband has issues with his neck and back and a bad fall, off a horse or anything else, could kill him or paralyze him, which would kill him! Yet he still does stuff, like riding, that would make me very concerned!

So, with that thought, I decided I just needed to "get over it", like I always tell the horse when it spooks at something.

I'm not "over it" but I'm better. I make myself go out and mess with the horses, all the horses, not just my riding horse. My hip still hurts going on 7 years when I came off a nasty mare we had that not only injured me physically but mentally as well.

I know I can ride. But the act of swinging my leg over sometimes just paralyzes me. So I take a couple deep breaths, get encouragement from friends, and do it.

My old gelding Dreyfuss got me back in the saddle. He's huge, well trained, spunky but very careful when I started riding him. He was an awesome "come back" horse. Now he's going blind so when I ride him, he relies on ME as much as I relied on HIM.

So now I ride my colt Jake. Never, ever did I think I would get on a green broke 3 year old horse. Ever. I mean, I planned on riding Jake eventually, just not at 3 years old. But I did just that last year. I rode him all summer and fall and we did great together.

This spring (now summer)? It took a LOT for me to swing up there. He hadn't been ridden in over 7 months and my husband took him out to move cows! Jake and he had a bit of a discussion and things didn't end well between them. I gave Jake a few days to get over it and I got on. He was GREAT! Of course, I didn't push him, put him in a stressful situation or anything, just rode for about 20 minutes.

But I RODE! And I was so tickled with him and me for it! I'm ready to hit the trail, if I can just find the time, dang it! Maybe tomorrow, if my husband is up for it.

The main thing, for me, is to relax. Read the horse and go with the gut feeling. And know the difference between an irrational fear and the real signals you might be getting.

You can do it! If I can, anyone can!

[Wild Rose]

Andi's comment about relaxing made me remember this.

When I first started riding Rosie, she would flinch. I mean FLINCH! Even at a standstill. I would get on, and in a few seconds or a minute, she'd flinch. It felt my horse disappeared from under me!

So, BuddyRoo told me to be a sack of potatoes. Really relax. Slump, sigh, relax in the saddle. So, I did. I slumped, sighed, and Rosie SIGHED!! It was all good from there out. No more flinching! Not once after that!

Just straighten up when you start moving! Don't ride slumped over!

But, I'm still nervous. I'm going to get on. I was going to today, but it's windy again, and Rosie has sore front feet. I think she was trimmed too short. She has her boots on, and she hates her boots. She's pouting.

[craftylady]

I saw this thread earlier before anyone else posted on it. I didn't reply because I didn't have any advice to offer as I'm in the same boat. I didn't realize how much so until last week when I got on my mare and felt so afraid, I ended up just getting off. We have 4 horses and my husband can ride any one of them. The one I would like to ride/ tried to ride is the most reliable of all of them. Yet, she sensed my total lack of confidence and wanted to follow her buddy around. I tense up, feel anxious, dread the words "do you want to go for a ride?"

We've had some bad experiences in the past, I've been bucked off, seen hubby bucked off and hurt, but nothing as serious as AWQH. I can work on the ground with the horse and groom them without any qualms. Put the saddle on, expect me to ride and I tense up. I WANT to ride. I don't know what to do to regain my confidence.

[AWQH]

Hugs for each and every one of you who have posted. This was a nightmare for me to even admit to myself, let alone post about publicly.

Some history... I've ridden horses since I was 8 or 9. I was REALLY good, and even broke my 1st horse...a halflinger..at 13. My first horse was a 3/4 Arabian mare. She had a temper on her like you would not believe. I rode with extreme confidence and loved that fire in her. When I was 14 I was crushed underneath her, when she tripped in a hole, and my back was fractured. I got back up asap. 2 weeks before I was supposed to lol. Got back up and no confidence problems at all. I ended up not riding for 10 years a couple years after the accident, due to not having a horse etc. In 2002 I bought a filly, who ended up being higher spirited than I wanted for a family horse. I decided to sell her. Before she sold I rescued a STB gelding, ex harness racer. I rehabbed him, and broke him to ride, no problems. I did not have confidence problems then either. Rescued another horse..an older QH gelding. Rehabbed him and began riding him too. Had no confidence issues until I tried to ride down a fairly big hill. My current husband, and the man who bought the filly, helped me with that. Basically he forced me to face my fear... wasn't nice, but he was right, he did it the right way by MAKING me face those fears. Over the years we've ridden together, separately, rounded up cattle ..no problems.

Then last August I was kicked in the back by a then 1 year old horse. Hauled off in an ambulance. Since that time... I have ridden twice, like I mentioned, and both times on the gelding I usually ride, but only for 5-15 minutes, and in a corral. I work with the other horses from the ground, no problem. No problem till I get my fanny planted in that saddle. The sad thing.. the horse I ride is only 14.2 hh. I keep telling myself to suck it up and stop scaring myself. I NEED to keep riding. It helps me control Fibromyalgia . Plus keeps me in better shape etc. I have noticed now when I dismount, my right leg usually scrapes the horse's rear end. Nothing I can do about it, and he goes not care... but it shows that yeah, the damage to my spine and hip are still there.


Now..I want to bring in cattle, not be afraid of riding and doing things I used to. Oh I do not need to be wild on horseback, but confident would be a bonus.

Thank you ladies for telling me your stories... it does help me know I am not alone.


Dianne

[manesntails]

I broke my back in 93. I didn't start back riding til 98. All I did was drive them.
I had roo much sciatica for the first 5 years after the operation to ride.

Just start with a schoolie who wouldn't buck, run-off or rear if his life depended on it. You know who they are. You will not pick a bad one.

And yes, all your weight should be in your butt. If so, no matter where the horse goes, you're going with him.

I'm not supposed to ride because I still have bone chips in my spinal cord.
Pfft~!! Might as well just kill me as to ask me not to mess with horses. Driving is only one of the things I like to do with horses and riding is what I did first and have always continued to do so, so much for that.

I'd rather live happily doing what I want than live longer unhappily refraining from that.

[craftylady]

Diane,
Thank you for sharing your past and your current situation. You're right that it is a very hard thing to admit to anyone, especially publicly. A few months ago my husband thought he realized the extent of my fear but last week it became even clearer to him. He has offered to help me. I know it is something I'm going to HAVE to do, but that doesn't make it easier. I think I may start by taking some of the suggestions Wild Rose has made. It's always easy for me to make excuses. It's too cold, too windy, not enough time, etc. I do appreciate this thread as like you said, it let's me know I'm not alone in my situation.

[craftylady]

I just wanted to add Kudos to the rest of you who feel the same way and are doing something about it and have shared your experiences here.

[Wild Rose]

I got my advice from Julie Goodnight's website. Her website has changed a bit since I read it there, but she talks about gaining confidence with riding.

Here is a link. http://www.juliegoodnight.com/questionsNew.php?id=198

[WhiteHorseAcres]

I too fit into this category. I've been struggling with this the past few years. I can't really offer any suggestions as I haven't overcome my riding fears (yet). Although I do agree with others that taking small steps is key. Do what you feel comfortable with and try to go a little farther each time. No one is judging you on what you can and can not do. The main thing is to do something you enjoy because you want to. Good luck and keep us updated. I know it helps me to see others gain confidence and learn about what's helped them.

[lopen28]

I agree with what most of you said. I was the one that got the young horse as my first horse and wanted to train it myself....I had lots of riding with trainers and lessons and such but I had never had my OWN horse. Well, most of the time we got along fine....but she bucked me off twice and that was enough to shake me up. I too have a bad back and worry about getting REALLY hurt.

What helped me was A.) I played the mental game...in my head, I would shut down ANY excuse I gave. I would tell myself to STOP being a weenie, suck it up and just GET ON and DO it. I don't CARE if it's just walking around and flexing her....DO IT!

B.) I found a trainer sent my mare for a tune up and then started lessons with him. THAT worked wonders....seriously. Might be the more expensive way to deal with fear but it COMPLETELY got me through it. He reassured me that I WAS a good rider, I DID know what I was doing and when I was scared, I would tell him and he would help me work through WHAT scared me and how to deal with that. And much of the time he would just yell "SMILE!"....and that helped. lol.

He was also a cowhorse trainer so he had cows and I told him I would like to TRY that but NO WAY! I was too scared! He told me I WOULD do it. He was on his horse and worked the calf down till he was pretty tired and I started by just tracking that little tired calf. This should be my C.) Working cows. When you work cows, you HAVE to watch the cow. You have to look up and forward at where you are going and watch that cow. I couldn't look at my horses head and wait for her to buck. I couldn't watch her ears and see when she was getting pi$$y and make myself nervous. I HAD to watch that cow. Getting my head up and looking forward was what sealed the deal. When your head is up, you are showing confidence and your horse feels it.

After a while, paying for lessons got tight for me. So my trainer said if I rode one....maybe two youngsters for him, he would count that as lesson fee cause he had a TON to ride. Not only did it help him have more time, it helped ME build confidence cause I was riding young ones! He was sure to put me on the easy predictable ones and would tell me EXACTLY what they would or wouldn't do and how they moved.....but that also helped.

So maybe I just got lucky...But now even though I still have my moments of fear, I can either work through them or I'm at least willing to try to work through them.

My horse has been on stall rest since the end of March so I'll get back to you when I start riding her again cause I'm sure I'll have a new set of problems and a new set of nerves to work through! LOL. Good luck! You can do it!

[Abadan Arabians]

Wow.....well, I know I'm not alone. I also injured my back and for the past year and a half worried about something happening. Even the thought of one of them spooking while on the leadrope and possibly yanking me and hurting my back. I rode once and it hurt so I didn't get back on. Well, now I've had surgery last week and will be able to start riding again in a month or so but will be a nervous wreck when I get on because I am so scared to injure the back again. This wasn't horse related so I shouldn't have a fear but just the thought that I could injure it again if I did fall from a horse makes me fearful. Especially since i have 3 horses that need to be broke.

[Andi]

Something I learned while working thru all this ...

I hurt most all the time. My hip for the most part, the place I landed when Sugar dumped me over 7 years ago. And when I rode, I was so nervous, and so tense, that it would hurt more and I would also get cramps in my legs.

Then I got my old guy Dreyfuss. I instantly felt good on him, despite being HUGE and sort of intimidating looking. And he has a smooth jog, as well as a powerful, and comfortable lope. I found I was relaxed on Dreyfuss and hence, no pain, no cramps! Actually, my hip felt better after riding Dreyfuss, as I think it put me in a position, when relaxed, that actually helped with releaving the stress on my hip.

Then I started riding Jake. I've gotten a cramp in my leg once on him. He was feeling frisky and I was getting nervous. I told my friends Judy and Darlene, whom I was riding with. We all stopped our horses and I took a couple deep breaths, relaxed, kicked my foot out of the stirrup ( ) and shook the cramp out, bent down and got my foot back in the stirrup and off we went. I was fine after that and ever since.

I just have to remember to breathe and relax ... and it actually lessens my pain. So it helps when I am trying to work up the courage to ride to remember I feel LOTS better in the saddle than on the ground.

Look, here's me on my big lug Dreyfuss, at a horse show, the 3rd time I rode him:



And here's me on Jake, who is now 4 years old, about a week ago:



If I can do it, you all can do it!

[equicrzy]

I am so glad to hear there are people like all of you, people that I consider to be great horse people, who can say they have confidence issues....if YOU all have these feelings and fears, then *I* must not be just a whacky lady, afraid to get on a horse.

My horse accident was 3 years ago, I think, I fractured my tailbone, but more than that, I was injured mentally.....it's been a long road, and I'm still not at the end, but at least I no longer tremble at the mere thought of getting on a horse....I did ride a few times after the accident, not my horse, though, a friend's 15 YO, very well broke gelding, and I think that is what gave me some of my confidence back.

Like Andi, I know I know HOW to ride, and I want more than anything to just climb on a horse with no reservations, but that point in time, hasn't come yet.

I work on my issues almost daily, the more I do with my filly, the more she responds to me in a positive way, a little more confidence comes back....my vet gave me a nice compliment, after 2 hours of poking and prodding, and needle sticking, Abby was as calm as could be, and very agreeable to anything we asked of her...vet looks at me and says, " you did a great job with her". No one could have given me a better compliment....I guess I'm on the road back.

[Wild Rose]

That IS a great compliment, equicrazy!

For me, I know it's the relaxing thing. A couple years ago, when I was riding, my mind drifted off to something else. When I realized it, I was shocked! I was relaxed! It was only for a second or two, but I thought if my mind can wander I MUST be getting more comfortable. That was great.

But, I'm back stuck in the fear mode this spring. I know if I just get on, things will start progressing. I was going to get on today, but now we have those dang high winds again, and it's been raining off and on. Maybe it will clear up in a few hours.

[Andi]

You know what helped me equi?

After I started riding Dreyfuss, I knew I was doing better riding, and was actually a better rider BECAUSE of Dreyfuss but then I went to ride another horse. And I froze. And thought "crap!" because it was Dreyfuss I was comfortable on and not horses in general.

Then the trainer we had working with Jake said, "Just get ON" (it was her horse) and so I did. I got on a strange horse, a HUGE, strange horse, that I had never ridden or even really met before and I went riding with my trainer riding Jake. I took that horse home to ride and get my seat back before I got Jake home.

My first "big" ride on Coyote was moving cows. The same cows that this year caused the big upset/turmoil between my husband and Jake. (see another post on GHT about riding Jake) And this big gelding Coyote freaked out! The entire herd of cows -- 60-70 of them with calves, turned and ran right at us! Tom was on Sunny too far away to be any help. Coyote had never been "charged" by cows before. He spun to bolt; Karen told me he knew the ORS and so I pulled him around. And around and around. We went in circles, about 5 of them, before he stopped. And the cows were streaming past us still. So he attempted to bolt and spin again. So around and around we went again, me trying to gain control of his feet and him trying to gain control of his feet!

I won. It happened so fast, I had no time to be scared, I just reacted. That's when I knew I was on the road to "recovery" so to speak. I made Coyote face up to little bunches of cows while we were getting them back together and moved. He liked that because they turned and ran the other way.

We got stuck behind a slow cow on the drive ... with a tiny calf. The herd was getting farther and farther away ... as was the other horse, Sunny. Coyote was getting pissed, as he did NOT want to leave the herd and Sunny. Finally he gave about 3 little protest bucks (I was assured he NEVER bucked!) ...

It was all good. I stayed on just fine, stayed in the middle, made Coyote follow for a bit longer then left the cow and calf when it was my idea and one of the people on 4-wheelers picked up trailing her. We had a couple more tense moments at the end when everything was confusing and we were in the middle of a highway, trying to get cows IN to the field and OUT of people's yards. But I stuck with it and it all worked out.

So, a month later, when it was time for Jake to come home, I rode him with the trainer first at her place. He stood quietly, patiently, for me to get on. I was nervous, he knew it but he was so good for me. He fussed a couple times and I got over my nervousness when I found out he wasn't trying to scare me or buffalo me, he was just being Jake. I reminded myself this was Jake, a horse I had known since he was still in the birthing sack.

Of course, I still get nervous but it's MUCH better. For me, swinging my leg over is the hardest part because Sugar dumped me when I was in the process of mounting. So getting the nerve up to put my foot in the stirrup is compounded. But Jake stands for me to get on, no matter how long it takes. We gotta work on the "stay here until I am settled and have both feet in stirrups" bit but that's OK. He's controllable and about as safe as any good minded 4 year old colt can be.

It feels good knowing that once I get over that initial fear and actually swing my leg OVER the horse's back, I can ride with a little more ease and confidence than I did a year or two ago. I still have a long ways to go but we ARE getting there. So can the rest of you! This has been 7+ years in the making for me ...

[goatmom]

Hi everyone! I too, have a fear of riding now that I am older. Plus a 15 year break in having or dealing with horses. I use to ride anything they put in front of me when I was in the 16 to 26 age frame. Then came the period without horses for 15 to 18 years.

I would take my daughter to help me look for a horse for myself. She knows the fear I have, so even with her just in the 12 -16 yr old group (no fear) she knew I really wanted to ride again. She would ride the horse first to test them out for me. I got a horse in the summer of 05, had him for a year. Only rode him a few times because after we got him home he made me a nervous wreck just on the ground. I sold him and went through 3 horses in the summer of 06. Summer of 07 I went without a horse. I did have the pony and cart that we had had since 94. He allowed me to at least go out on the roads with the kids. I was in charge of the ice chest since it fit in the floorboard of the cart.

Then in Jan 08 I ran into a horse trader friend of mine that was looking for me because he had what I wanted. I bought Charlie and for the entire year of 08 I let everyone and their pup ride him. I wanted to "SEE" how he acted/reacted. My first ride on him was August last year at a trail ride. Yes, I was nervous as he!! but I was determined I was not going to miss that ride again. I mounted up and was shaking all over for the first 30 minutes. Charlie on the other hand fell asleep 3 times during the ride. He is such a good boy for only being 7 years old. I still find myself trying to make up excuses, but I also find myself looking for places to go ride. Charlie is pretty lazy, but he will buck if you ask him to canter. At this stage I am not ready to do any cantering so I am not worried about. I am completely happy with walk trot. My daughter can get him to canter without bucking so I know it is not really him, it is just the way the other riders ask him to canter. My goal is to be cantering by this fall.

I did a lot of ground work with Charlie the first 8 months before I rode him, so I believe he and I had some kind of bond between us before that first ride which I think helped more then I realized at the time.

Plus, I found out that your riding partner has a lot to do with the level of nervousness too. I have a friend that rides an Arab that is constantly doing circles along the trail. This is not good for me, it's makes me tense. When I ride with my daughter or another friend I am more relaxed. So choice your riding partner carefully.

[equicrzy]

You know what helped me equi?

After I started riding Dreyfuss, I knew I was doing better riding, and was actually a better rider BECAUSE of Dreyfuss but then I went to ride another horse. And I froze. And thought "crap!" because it was Dreyfuss I was comfortable on and not horses in general.

Then the trainer we had working with Jake said, "Just get ON" (it was her horse) and so I did. I got on a strange horse, a HUGE, strange horse, that I had never ridden or even really met before and I went riding with my trainer riding Jake. I took that horse home to ride and get my seat back before I got Jake home.

My first "big" ride on Coyote was moving cows. The same cows that this year caused the big upset/turmoil between my husband and Jake. (see another post on GHT about riding Jake) And this big gelding Coyote freaked out! The entire herd of cows -- 60-70 of them with calves, turned and ran right at us! Tom was on Sunny too far away to be any help. Coyote had never been "charged" by cows before. He spun to bolt; Karen told me he knew the ORS and so I pulled him around. And around and around. We went in circles, about 5 of them, before he stopped. And the cows were streaming past us still. So he attempted to bolt and spin again. So around and around we went again, me trying to gain control of his feet and him trying to gain control of his feet!

I won. It happened so fast, I had no time to be scared, I just reacted. That's when I knew I was on the road to "recovery" so to speak. I made Coyote face up to little bunches of cows while we were getting them back together and moved. He liked that because they turned and ran the other way.

We got stuck behind a slow cow on the drive ... with a tiny calf. The herd was getting farther and farther away ... as was the other horse, Sunny. Coyote was getting pissed, as he did NOT want to leave the herd and Sunny. Finally he gave about 3 little protest bucks (I was assured he NEVER bucked!) ...

It was all good. I stayed on just fine, stayed in the middle, made Coyote follow for a bit longer then left the cow and calf when it was my idea and one of the people on 4-wheelers picked up trailing her. We had a couple more tense moments at the end when everything was confusing and we were in the middle of a highway, trying to get cows IN to the field and OUT of people's yards. But I stuck with it and it all worked out.

So, a month later, when it was time for Jake to come home, I rode him with the trainer first at her place. He stood quietly, patiently, for me to get on. I was nervous, he knew it but he was so good for me. He fussed a couple times and I got over my nervousness when I found out he wasn't trying to scare me or buffalo me, he was just being Jake. I reminded myself this was Jake, a horse I had known since he was still in the birthing sack.

Of course, I still get nervous but it's MUCH better. For me, swinging my leg over is the hardest part because Sugar dumped me when I was in the process of mounting. So getting the nerve up to put my foot in the stirrup is compounded. But Jake stands for me to get on, no matter how long it takes. We gotta work on the "stay here until I am settled and have both feet in stirrups" bit but that's OK. He's controllable and about as safe as any good minded 4 year old colt can be.

It feels good knowing that once I get over that initial fear and actually swing my leg OVER the horse's back, I can ride with a little more ease and confidence than I did a year or two ago. I still have a long ways to go but we ARE getting there. So can the rest of you! This has been 7+ years in the making for me ...

This friend I mentioned, who's horse I rode, called me one day, and says, "lets go riding", well, I froze, right there on the phone, and I was no where near a horse. In fact, I was still sore from the accident.

I went, anyway, to her house, and we tacked up her two horses, she got on her big sorrel, and I got on her grey.

Okay, we move out, down the driveway, out to the street, and on to one of the trails near her house. I was soooo nervous, which I'm sure transferred to the horse, but he was great, and the more we walked, and the more he didn't do anything, the better I felt......until she says, "okay, let's trot"....PANIC....okay trotting is fine, i'm doing okay....we go cross country, so to speak, even down some ravines, where the horses had to clamor up the other side....still okay...hey! this is getting FUN!!

We are out for a good hour by now, when she looks at me,and says, ' you actually ride pretty good', BIG smile from me, and a 'thank you'!

I rode Gunner two more times after that, one time, when I got a little apprehensive about something, she just looked at me and said, "you came to ride, so just ride the f-ing horse"! Shocked the crap outta me, but she was right....so, I just rode the f-ing horse, and I did just fine, and it was a great experience for me, one that put me on the road to recovery.

[This Is It]

I've read most of your stories and have one of my own.
I rode the same horse for about 7 years, he was the first horse I ever owned and it took me a while to really "click" with him, but click we did. I could do anything on him, and knew what he was going to do before he did it. We would ride and it felt like I was one with him. Then tragedy struck and we lost the entire boarding barn to an early morning electrical fire, loosing all the horses, 42 head, and my boy was right there. I was devestated, but knew I still wanted to be around horses and ride. After 6 months or so I started riding with a friend of mine, and I had lost ALL confidence. I worked with a 3 year old colt they had, that was a great arena horse but an idiot on the trail. I tried to work through it, but I just couldn't get over knowing what he was capable of. Then my friend from back home offered to sell me her husband's 4 year old unfinished foundation QH. Dead quiet, sweet, BIG and a great trail horse with a lot of cow sense. I bought him and brought him home. I've now had him for almost a year and a half, and I've been SO nervous on him all this time. Now, its like I've flipped a switch. A couple friends of mine have horses at the same barn and asked if I wanted to come trail riding with them. Sure! I said, and prayed in the back of my mind that they wouldn't run too much. I couldn't admit to ANYONE that the "cowgirl" was afraid... We ended up running all over the mountain, down a couple ravines, up a road, we were all over the place. And, somewhere along that trail I lost my fear. Not sure how it happened, but running up the last hill, I got that jump in my heart and got a big grin on my face and let my horse loose to blast up the hill. Not sure where it came from, but suddenly the fear was gone, and almost all of my confidence was back. I let him blast up that hill, past two horses, and the riders were floored by his speed. And it was SO much fun.
We took the horses to the rodeo last Sat and we both (me and my horse) did great. He was a little lazy, but I walked, trotted, cantered and galloped him, asked for it all and he gave it after a little encouragement.

It'll come back. Push yourself past your limits, not to danger, but to your goal. You can do it. I did.

I've now promised myself that I will try to ride a different horse at least once a month, so I don't become so comfortable on my horse that I loose confidence on other horses.

This post has been edited by This Is It: Jun 2 2009, 01:37 PM

[AWQH]

OMG hearing the being afriad to admit the cowgirl is afraid hit me between the eyes!!! That's me!

I DID ride on Tuesday!!! I rode for an hour , but only at a walk. It went well except for 1 bad spook because my usually quiet horse decided he was suddenly terrified of antelope, when we know he is not. Collin rode with me, so I was not alone. He made me settle down and get Gridlon under control. It worked! my worry was feeding his stupidity!

I am riding and helping move the herd of cows today, so cross your fingers. I'm going to ride my usual horse. He and I are close and good buddies, so I am going to depend on him to get me there and back safely. Gonna check things out and then will post a couple of pics of me riding that my husband took :). lol gotta make sure I have room for attachments.

Dianne

ps. thank you all..you are so awesome!

This post has been edited by AWQH: Jun 4 2009, 08:10 AM

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[Wild Rose]

That's wonderful news!

See, that's what I need. Someone here in person to coach me. But, I have to call a horsey friend, because my hubby won't do it. And I don't know why, but I just hate to have to call someone to come here. I mean, it's like I think it's an imposition or something.

[Andi]

I love the stories -- it's encouraging!

It's frustrating to me because I know I can ride ... just actually swinging up there is hard.

But tomorrow, providing my neighbor(s) can go, I want to hit the trails for the first time this year. Maybe look for a few cows in the trees to move around. Cross a creek and log or two. Scramble up a hill and plow thru brush. I want to do it and, providing I have someone to go with me, I will do it.

I can no longer feel comfortable riding alone. Maybe sometime but not yet. I was alone when Sugar pitched me and I have no idea how long I was out or how long it took for me to crawl to the fence and then stagger to the house to call my friend to come help me. That scared me and I just won't do it alone any longer. I know Jake will ride out alone, and I'm sure he would be just fine. But it's not him that worries me!

AWQH? Looking good! Have fun moving cows! Be sure to give us all an update!

WR? Call you neighbor, tell her you don't want to impose but you really want to ride and would feel safer with a spotter and then get out there. Don't worry about the wind or the weather. Just do it! If I were closer, I'd saddle up Jake, load him in the trailer and come get you!

[Wild Rose]

Thanks, Andi. I wish you could come, too. You're my hero!

Anyway, I won't be able to ride this weekend. We are heading to my daughter's house, a 4 hour drive one way. It's our grand daughter's 3rd birthday party.

I have been doing a LOT of what I call psyching myself into this. Now, I can picture myself going out to ride, and I'm not getting nervous like I usually do. I picture myself being able to handle any little nervousness Rosie gives me. (Actually she gets nervous, because I do) If this holds up when I go out there, it might just be OK. I have to keep thinking positive.

It's been so long since I rode, that I'm to the point where I really WANT to do it. So, that's a plus. I know I can get on without much trouble. Mounting is not really the problem. The problem is BEFORE I even go out to the barn. But, I've done it lots of times, so I can do it.

Also, when Rosie stops walking on her own (say, when we head down through the trees in her pasture), I get nervous. When she stops, I get scared. I imagine that she's going to spin at any moment and tear back to the barn! I know I need to get her attention back on me, and make her move forward. I know that. But doing it...that's the hard part.

Next week for sure, after we get back from my daughter's house.

[paintmehappy]

here i thought i was the only one-LOL

2 years ago--i won the 2d at nationals and then placed in the bottom of the 1d in the short go--BUT HECK--I WAS IN THE 1d!!!
then i came home and was running strong--till that day when my horse dodged the second barrel & my foot got caught-dragging me upside down the full length of the arena---
then i bought another horse-laid back to get my confidence back--she just left last week--we didnt get along--i have been riding my good mare again--but i have lost the drive to win

i have found that i went out & bought a helmet--and i was sooo anxious to get home & ride with it.
i am going to go to the shows & just ride my mare while hubby runs--hoping i will get that fever again.
i do so want to run--i absolutely do---but fear keeps me in the warm up pen at home.

[AWQH]

Awww thanks for the compliments. Yesterday I rode Rio..our 14.2 hh gelding for 2 hours moving cows. I DID IT! No scary moments.Is my confidence fixed...nope but you know it is a start. Now if only we could afford a gentle horse who has a smooth gait, for me to ride. Rio is kinda like riding a jackhammer. I'm hurting pretty bad. In fact the kids are going to have to bottle feed the calves, because I just hurt too much from riding the milkshake machine lol.

We should keep this topic going and we can all keep updated with each other.

Hugs to you all. Keep trying, we'll get there.


Dianne

[Mels]

It is definitely encouraging reading ya'lls stories and knowing you can get over it.

3 years ago I was in a bad carriage wreck [I actually posted about it on here.] The horse and carriage I was working for got hit by a drunk driver. Me and the driver of the carriage were run over and I was dragged down the road.

About 3 months after the wreck when I was able to get around and my leg had healed, I got back on the carriage. I even helped him do the shopping centers during the Christmas season. But business slacked off after that and I didn't help him much. Then I got busy with school and work and didn't have time to go out to my friend's barn and ride my favorite mule.

So the less I handled, rode or was around horses, the more my anxiety has set in.

Now it scares the crap out of me to get on an unfamiliar horse. :(

I tried one of those "resorts" in the North GA Mtns, thinking a good broke "nose-to-tail" trail horse would help ease my anxiety. No, they put me on a barn sour fella and as soon as he saw other riders heading back to the barn, that's where he wanted to go. I tried all my aids to get him going back the right way, and he wound up backing me off the trail and almost down in a ditch. So I just stepped off and we walked down the trail a little ways and tried to get back on down there. The "guide" I was with, was a joke, and she made me feel very unsafe by the way she was doing things and trying to "help" me. Like taking the reins from me to hold my horse until I suggested she use the lead rope she had, then tying my horse to the saddle horn of her horse while she got back on, so our horses wound up doing this little dance in the middle of a gravel road. It was just no good all around, and I told her to just take me back to the barn.

The funny thing is, I'm not as bad if I'm driving. I have no problem driving in the arena or around the farm...I mean, I'm more aware, and maybe a little tense, but I don't get that fear like being in the saddle.

So I met some new friends that do cowboy shooting and I figured, if you can shoot off a horse, he's about as broke as can be. He let me ride his gelding he puts kids on and he even lead us around with a lead rope and I was still tense. It just terrified me. I was like, what if a deer jumps out and he spooks and dumps me?

What gets me is, I think all these what ifs, but I know, after all I've been through, I'll survive. I might be banged up a little, but it'll heal. So what's the big deal about hitting the ground?

Then I think, what happened to that bravery I had years ago when I had my own mare and would lope bareback across an open field?

I read on here about all of your accidents and I'm like, oh **** no, I'm never riding again, too much can happen.

But that is certainly no way to live. I should know that, I've had health problems and received a kidney transplant along with other issues, I know we're never gauranteed tomorrow. A car wreck or a heart attack could take me out just as quickly as another horse accident.

I dunno, I think its really a matter of control and trust. I need a horse I can handle every day and really bond with and trust again.

I'm rambling at this point, so I'll shut up. lol

[Andi]

I didn't get to ride today -- thunder, lightening, wind and rain are a deterrent for me! But it's supposed to be nice Sunday and I made a date with my neighbor Judy and our friend Darlene. And I want to drag my husband out too.

Reading over this thread has been inspiring and enlightening. And I just have to say one thing:

Ladies? Life happens, whether we want it to or not. If we want to make the most of it and enjoy life and the horses we love, then we need to suck it up and just do it. We can't live our lives on "what-if's", we just have to go for it. If it's our time to check out, we're going to check out, whether it's on the back of a horse or sitting on our butts in front of the computer.

Me? I'd rather go out on the back of a horse.

Let's just LIVE life to it's fullest and dam* the torpedos!

[Miss Print]

I have been reading everyones posts and just couldn't believe how familiar it all sounds. My own story is much the same. I rode everything I could when I was young then was away from horses for 15 yrs.
When I did start riding again found I was a nervous wreck and would freeze up just getting on. Then I bought my appy mare, VS Alottaspots, and things were going great. I was still apprehensive getting on but would take a few deep breaths, relax and walk in the round pen a bit. I was just starting to get out and do some trails 3-4 times a week when she fell. We were trotting down the ditch bank and she stepped in a hole and fell foward. I smacked my chin on the top of her head and managed to separate the cartilage in my chest. I couldn't breath right for almost a year.
The mare was fine by the way just stood up and looked at me like "Why are you on the ground?? Lets GO!!"

That was 3 years ago I do still have Spots and I took her out on my own for the first time a month ago and just rode down the road. I had only been riding her in the arena and taking some lessons but was still having panic attacks everytime I got on. It was our first time out since me getting hurt and it was great. It took us three hours to ride the 2 mile loop but I did it!!! I did discover that day that Spots is afraid of school buses and yellow newspaper boxes.. At one point she backed down through a ditch and around a tree so she wouldn't have to walk past a yellow mail box. LOL. But I didn't quit. I was probably the biggest accomplishment ever on horseback.
I still get nervous getting on but a couple of deep breaths I count to ten and take off.
I couldn't justify feeding 4 horses if I was afraid to get out and ride. I do love my horses they are like family to me since I bought Mia and Betty as yearlings 4 years ago.
I am proud to say that I am riding all three now 3 days a week. But the only one going out on the trail is Spots right now I am working up to the others.

[paintmehappy]

it was weird...my problem didnt start until my hubby had his horse flip over on him against a tree--yes it was on here quite a bit then---when i walked into the hosp-they came to me directly (must have been my rodeo attire) and told me your husband is alive--i dont know how or why but he is----then 3 months later i had my accident.
hubby is back to carelessly riding i am the fretfull one-----whats up with that???
he has no fear---and i fear---but sometimes i think that because he never had someone say that to his face?

i'm ready to haul to a local show next sat--just to ride and get out---but not run. my hrse is in shape due to all the riding i do at home--she is a easy keeper-and i think that scares me too--i know i'm not ready--but have signed up for lexington in august so- i hope i cna get some confidence back by then--cause she LOVES THAT PEN-LOL