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Roommate/bestie Problem/vent


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#1 Wonderish

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Posted 15 April 2012 - 05:18 PM

So my roommate bestie is with a douche bag guy. She is a student like myself, and has been basically lending him.money because he doesn't have a job and partying costs money .. lol. Anyway! I know for a fact on Friday she had over $200 and so it was my bday dinner Saturday night. Right before we leave she asks if she can borrow money off of me to pay for dinner! I said no. So we get to the restaurant and she says she isn't drinking or eating, I got annoyed and short and she said to me that if I didn't want her there she would leave. I then said do what you want, she got up and left. I texted a friend who was coming saying she'd left and he texted back saying he would pay for her. I called and texted her numerous times and so did he. She did not come back, although through text she told me she wasn't going to her bfs house to another friends. Friday night she had called me at midnight crying her eyes out cause her bf just took off and then texted her saying it was over ow she texted me just a few mins ago asking me to pick her up from his house tomorrow before exams! I said no and she still kept asking! Our arrangement is that we are living together until June, I need to make it civil between us and still be able to detach from the friendship. Its done nothing but cause me stress. I love the girl, but I don't deserve to be treated with such little respect.
There is a lot more behind this then just the most recent events.
What are all your thoughts on this?

Edited by Wonderish, 15 April 2012 - 05:20 PM.

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#2 loopyhorse

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Posted 15 April 2012 - 05:25 PM

Yep, sounds like you need to lay it out for her (if you haven't yet). Tell her that being with what's his name has changed her and in what ways... And then decide if it's a friendship you'd like to keep if/when she gets out of that relationship. Sorry you're having friend/roomie troubles!
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#3 Wonderish

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Posted 15 April 2012 - 05:30 PM

Yep, sounds like you need to lay it out for her (if you haven't yet). Tell her that being with what's his name has changed her and in what ways... And then decide if it's a friendship you'd like to keep if/when she gets out of that relationship. Sorry you're having friend/roomie troubles!


Done it. Even went as far as changing her phone number because she didn't want to talk to him anymore.
It's hard for me to say no to anyone, and I need to remain nice.. ugh!

Its hard to stick to my guns
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#4 Heidi n Q

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Posted 15 April 2012 - 06:45 PM

Its hard to stick to my guns

I thought you did pretty well by not loaning her money for her to attend your B-day Dinner. Just keep on not loaning her money or rewarding what you consider to be "bad behavior". Besides, WHAT do you need to remain "nice" for? So *she* doesn't get her feelers all butt-hurt? Protect yourself and let her do her thang ... as long as it doesn't harm you. And if it does? CTJ-meeting and throw 'nice' completely OUT of the picture.

She sounds like the kind of person I'd go out of my way to avoid.

Edited by Heidi n Q, 15 April 2012 - 06:46 PM.

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#5 Kina Kat

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Posted 15 April 2012 - 07:15 PM

Besides, WHAT do you need to remain "nice" for?

Probably because they have to live together for a few more months.



#6 JumperOverWater88

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Posted 15 April 2012 - 07:59 PM

Let me get this straight?? You were going out to celebrate YOUR birthday and she asked to borrow money for her dinner!!! :twitch: How rude is that!!!!?!?!?!?!

She should have been offering to pay for your dinner as a birthday present. Stop borrowing money to your jerk bag boyfriend and then she would have money to go do fun things with her friend.

I would try to be civil towards her until June and then I'd be out of there. Why would you want a friend like that?? I personally wouldn't.

Good Luck!
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#7 pintobeans

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 07:55 AM

While I think it is ridiculous that she'd ask you to pay for her dinner at your birthday, after making a huge lapse of judgment where her boyfriend is concerned, I don't think it's anything to make you feel like the remainder of your time living with her will be difficult to make civil; that seems like a vast over reaction IMO. Couldn't you just talk to the girl? If she's your "bestie," generally that's what besties do. Sounds like boyfriend took her for a ride and used her.

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#8 Wonderish

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 02:14 PM

We talked. I yelled, she yelled. She blames all her decisions she makes on her bi-polar and boarderline personality disorder. I told her that was just an excuse (i've heard it too many times) she said she couldnt "deal with anything/anyone" so she left and went to her bf's after lying to me through text saying she wasnt going to his house - that she was just going home.

Im just not going to expect any sort of friendship that has any value from her, because obviously she cannot give it.

I mean any other event would of been whatever, but it was my friggin birthday! It only happens once a year! lol. I know this sounds selfish, but I spent at least $250 at her bday on her and myself in February.

This is just another reason why I dont like being friends with girls. lol, too much drama. Im completely fine just being the crazy cat lady.
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#9 xTheeAppleismyAppyx

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Posted 16 April 2012 - 08:07 PM

This is just another reason why I dont like being friends with girls. lol, too much drama. Im completely fine just being the crazy cat lady.


I agree. I agree completely.



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