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About shandy

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    It not unusual to be loved by anyone!
  • Birthday 01/11/1967

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    Sumter County, Florida
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  1. I Am Keeping Her

    Hast,..I will answer this and then I am really done. There is nothing contradictory in anything I have I have written. Nothing. What some of you are NOT seeing is that since I have been so outspoken and people in my life ahve FINALLY realized how serious this is,..things have changed. Things are being done that prior were NOT done no matter how nicely I asked or how loud I yelled or how much I cried. It took some pretty serious changes to make things right here. This includes my family, neighbors, soon to be ex spouse, son,..and the support of a good man. They are all helping now. NOTHING has changed in fact is WORSE now after all this with my health. Things happen behind the scenes that aren't posted here because they involve people who do not wish to be included in this forum. I simply wanted to post an update because I thought folks were interested and concerned. As for the paste and quote. You are taking that the wrong way. Totally. We ALL need education where horses are concerned. It helps to have a point of reference to then post about it later. So if I quote "Now I am afraid you will have even MORE trouble loading her because she WON!" and then show video of her loading with no problems, clears the air. It makes people THINK about posting absolute statements. They LEARN from it. The person who is sitting there TRYING to learn who reads that statement and thinks "Well gee I blew it so now I have a bigger problem!" and THAT is who those quotes and posts are for. They need to know that that is NOT necessarily true and that horses and people have bad days and that horses are amazing forgiving creatures. You chose to believe it was to be vindictive. That comes from you,..not me. I know you are going through a rough time right now with losing your mother and I am sorry for that. Believe it or not even with all the crap going on in my life,.I do follow what others are going through and I do offer my support and condolences. I don't like anyone hurting. I got a good night's sleep last night. I am rested for now so I thought I should come back here and try again. But I am not in any way wishing ill will on anyone here nor am I ungrateful. I am. But just like not having the ability to argue with Lilly that day,..I also don't have the energy to always argue back here. Much as I love a good discussion and debate. Every moment of every day my body dictates what I can and can't handle. No contradictions there. Just living life moment to moment. I am not very good at it.
  2. I Am Keeping Her

    I will address this. Thank you for the concerns. I am keeping Lilly until the right WORKING home becomes available. I don't want her sitting in a pasture. Money popped up for us that was prior not available as did help from other sources that I am no longer going to be sharing here as people are sick of hearing about it. That changed the NOW status as far as money. As for her care,..I have help now. I did not think Lilly could live alone and no I did not intend to keep her which is why I was so frustrated to hear that she could have been loaded on that trailer. Now that she is not I realize that going with Achilles probably was not the best idea. She needs work.Not just fed and cared for. I am trying to find that for her locally. I said keeping her til further notice meaning stop trying to find her a home for me. I will find one. I am keeping her here until she is ready to do this. I just wanted folks on here to stop looking for a far away home. I got offers as far as Minnesota for her. Other discussions have taken place off line and in private that will enable her to stay here and people have stepped up to make that happen until the right home comes. Thank you again for all the concerns and honestly,.at this point in my life I don't need the stress of worrying about all of this anymore and people stepped up so I wouldn't have to. I am sorry I took up people's space and time with my messed up life and am truly saddened at the turn of events that are obviously my fault. I need to step away. I am in no shape to be taking on all of this. Emotionally or physically. I have a lot of people tugging on me in my life and honestly I am just not up to it. So I am picking my energy focus. FB is the place for my venting and rants and expressions as I get to choose who reads that and as such will bring me peace. HC is not the place for this as has been pointed out to me. Again,..thank you,..thank you for taking the time to read all of it. Thank you for caring and please know I appreciate all that was done. I am tired and can't do this anymore. This past week has taken it's toll and I overdid it. The people who know me in person well know how much this is wearing on me and are concerned about me. I need to walk away for their sake as well.
  3. Why Are We So Quick To Judge

    But you did. You posted that you could have gotten Lilly loaded. You also said that you felt nothing would have been different on Saturday. Isn't that putting an issue with something out there? You never said as much to me when it was happening but yet brought it up here on HC. It's already out there. Maybe I am just not understanding this from the right perspective but you felt it necessary to tell everyone on HC that you could have loaded her. You can't imagine how shocked I was to read that. PR,..yes actions DO speak louder than words but since this is an online forum all we have are words and pics and videos. and I think it's important to mention that EVERYONE'S actions should be considered. I thanked her profusely, still grateful to her and think she is wonderful for what she did but there is a history here. All that said I agree,..this needs to be over with here. Sorry for the intrusion.
  4. I Am Keeping Her

    Yep! Without all the flash and bravado most of the time. She is one of those that will run off,..stop and think,..come back and see if you changed your mind. The Arabs I had the pleasure of being around had to be taught to come back and negotiate a truce with them! LOL They were always way too smart! I let the Arabian folks handle that breed! The lady I gave Mega to knew it when she met him and was ready for him. Jacks was really good with him too as she had a lot of experience with Arabians! Remy,..I am sorry if my postings are causing you grief but as you pointed out, have the option not to read them. I am most sorry that my being in a wonderful relationship and being truly happy despite all my issues disturbs you. I like to think I am at an age where telling my stories on here MIGHT help someone else to realize they too can be happy and not go around making others miserable. You'd be surprised how many pm's I got from other women who are going through what I went through and thanked me for posting about it. But I guess this is stupid me posting to you since I know you're not gonna read it.
  5. Why Are We So Quick To Judge

    Sorry if I made this post about me. There were so many posts in the past few weeks that people had referred to my situation and said as much that I keep getting confused as to which ones are or aren't. As for this? She does know me. Quite well. We had met prior and were friends on another board outside of HC. But still all is true about her. She did go out of her way. I guess that's why I was questioning her impressions of the weekend because I DO know her and figured she would be honest and tell me why she was thinking what she was thinking as she has not been known to hold back on me before this. Just wanted to clarify that. Carry on!
  6. Why Do Some Women Need A Man ?

    LOL Flequus! [Huggy]
  7. Why Do Some Women Need A Man ?

    DITTO! And guess what? They ARE out there!
  8. I Am Keeping Her

    TPL,..that is quite possibly one of the kindest things anyone has said to me (with some exceptions and a nod to my "baby" Ryan)in a long long time! I am not leaving HC. Never intended to. But was reminded last night by the man I love that I am spending Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much energy on things that don't matter. I dunno if I can do it. Keep her I mean. But I am dang sure not gonna let her go with a reputation of being a PITA cuz she isn't. She is special. I always knew it. I have been around horses for over 30 years and THIS horse? She deserves to show how she can shine and I ain't leaving til she does. Just meant that not having horses will be painful enough for me and that HC and any input I may have will change. I just don't believe in absolutes with horses anymore and can't contribute here as if I do. There is no black and white with horses and may all of you be lucky enough to meet the horse that teaches you that. I have been and am. Always knew it. She's the one others would have "sent down the road" because she doesn't "fit the mold". She's smart and crafty and sensitive. Doesn't mean she isn't worth it. Just means you have to be a certain kind of horseman to talk to her. You can know all you think you know about horses but THIS horse will show you humility. I need that. I NEED her to show me I was right about her. Take it for what you will but she is my soul and I am not gonna give her up to a life of pasture and lovin when I know she is yearning for so much more. Horses are a dime a dozen right now. Any size,..any shape,..any disposition,..but THIS horse has shown me she loves and appreciates what I have given her(unknowingly at the time)and that she deserves special consideration. I am gonna give her that. As for my health issues? **** them to **** cuz I am SICK of them. I can't take much more. It's just a given now that I am gonna get sick. I know that. I would rather die sick from helping her than die knowing I sold her out. Ryan will help. She LOVES him. Adores him. Just like me. We'll work it out. The money will come. She's a good girl and has shown me that in the past week since Achilles is gone. I know I sound crazy and all that but please believe me when I say,..she's worth it. She's special. She thinks she's human. I don't need to dominate her. I need to understand her and work with that. I'll be around.
  9. I Am Keeping Her

    Thank you to those who helped and responded so lovingly to help me find the horses homes. I made the decision today that I am keeping Lilly until further notice. Ryan and I both are working behind the scenes doing other things to earn money to care for her. He has shown me he can help and I have realized I can make money outside of my job to take care of her. Thank you to all. This ends the search for a home on HC but I am available on FB to those I cherish as friends. You've all been wonderful! She's too special to let go to just anyone and I know that now. If a working home that is nearby comes available and I can keep contact with her I will let her go but for now,..I am calling the vet and having all shots brought up to date and her teeth taken care of. She's a one of a kind. I can't do it. Thank you again to Tx,..LuckE,..Little Cow,..Flequus and all who went out of their way to help me with them. Thank you Andy for always working so hard with her and understanding her issues and turning her into a sweet loveable lady with your endless patience. Thank you all.
  10. Why Are We So Quick To Judge

    LuckE, said that had it been Saturday you don't think the situation would have been any different. You also said you could have loaded Lilly. I explained that had it been Saturday my frame of mind would have been different. You implied that it wouldn't have or that SOMETHING was telling you that it would have made no difference. In this instance and with those statements,.I don't think it's ME who needs to explain themselves. I owned the horse(and still do) for 7 yrs. Yet your statement IMPLIED that nothing would have changed so I have to ask YOU,..what did you mean by that? You seem to have an opinion of why things wouldn't have been different but have not been forthcoming as to WHY that is. So it is I who should be asking why you would make that judgement. Especially when I have pictures to prove my horse loads. Loads even while being hormonal from giving birth with a 3 week old foal at her side. People were implying that Lilly is not trained. You seem to be agreeing. Correct me if I am wrong but I was only explaining why I took full responsibility for my OWN state of mind on Sunday verses what I was prepared for on Saturday when I had all day and night and was fully prepared to load that horse. Sunday was a whole different frame of mind which I explained ad nauseum on the other thread. I don't think it's ME who needs to answer here. I still appreciate what you did but I TOO question your statements about that day and why you feel Saturday would have been no different. So I turn it back to you. You made the judgment call,..I am the one with the horse who loaded every time for me. So tell me. And I don't mean this in a confrontational way,..but you DID make the statements. Just curious as to why.
  11. Why Are We So Quick To Judge

    Ann, one attempted to load Lilly but me. As for a horse not loading for strangers because it is out of their routine? That is untrue. 2 times that I placed horses I had their new owners load them. BOTH horses went on with no issue. Because the people handling them knew how to ask,..ask right the first time and not make a big deal out of it. Achilles loaded for Kristine. He balked a bit,..but then went on for her. It is statements and absolutes like "a horse balked because it was out of their routine" that bother me. Change of routine doesn't mean a horse won't do it. It just isn't that black and white. THAT is what I was trying to say. When we are quick to judge we make statements about horses that we believe are gospel and I know I have always been guilty of the same in the past. Parelli taught me NOT to have those absolutes and to believe that all these rules and such apply. They taught me NOT to judge. And I am trying. Having now gone through it myself I understand it even more. Learned from it.
  12. Spin Off On The Trailer Loading

    I thought you said you were working with him and practicing loading him when he refused and flipped over backwards and broke his withers. You had said that you moved the trailer from your usual spot and that was what caused him alarm. As I explained. It has been said that once a horse refuses and gets away with it that it will be that much more difficult to get them to do it next time which was pointed out to me on another thread. Part of folks learning is to know that this statement is not always true! There are no absolutes with horses. Just because she refused once does NOT mean she will refuse again. It's statements like that,..absolutes,..that other folks need to understand are NOT always true. Yet they get thrown around here as gospel. Sometimes bad moments with horses are just bad moments and have nothing to do with their training. The fact that Lilly was trained to do all kinds of stuff and then refused to load does NOT mean she isn't trained. That is another absolute that gets thrown around here and all these threads about instances where horses did "fluke" things in the moment when they had never done it before,..or that have weird quirks and load or unload a certain a way and folks made accommodations for that,..does not mean THEIR horses are untrained. Yet MY horse was called spoiled and untrained for doing the same ONE TIME. And then the Parelli training was brought up. I didn't splash her all over the boards. I had one thread. Others spoke up on the other trailer thread.
  13. Spin Off On The Trailer Loading

    Hast,..if you had people telling you your horse probably won't load again now because she WON that day and that she was spoiled and untrained and that they didn't think the horse would have loaded anyway had it been a different day wouldn't you want to quote that later on when you start a thread about the horse loading??? I am not the only horse person on this board who learned a lesson nor continues to need to learn and using those quotes and then showing her loading fine will help those people learn that their statements were nothing less than presumptuous. If you think Breyer's accident wasn't at the forefront of my mind that day? Then you don't know me nearly well enough. [Huggy] I thought of EVERY scenario that could make this go terribly wrong.It were those scenarios that kept me from just getting her on at all cost. Buddy Roo's nightmare with Susie. Our experience with Jack. Her getting swollen legs and being unable to make the trip before I iced them down with cold water(done that before) All of those things were running through my mind when that horse refused because she had never refused before. Never had to. She always offered to get on a trailer. I am not vindictive but I will help the education process with horses by using examples when it is put out there to show folks. I didn't write those things. Others did. I gave an explanation and was told I was wrong and to listen to what I was saying. There is an education to be had here and I want it preserved for others later who may lose confidence. Once she is gone, life with horses is over as is my involvement with HC on the same level. Bringing up that my horse was "Parelli trained to the nth" was uncalled for. Challenging that as has always been done despite the videos I have provided over the years and pictures and stories and such. Assuming that a horse is untrained or using the word "trained" lightly? All of those things need to be answered to for education purposes and to honor my horse who gave me so much and who now is being ripped to shreds because we had a bad day. Too many folks are not focusing on all the good that HAS come out of this horse and our life with her. One of the best things is sitting on a farm with a lovely lady awaiting his new job and waiting to prove that he too is a rockstar and that what Andy and I had been telling you guys about our program for all these years is true. All the things folks said couldn't be done the way we did it. It was just unfortunate that I got ill before I could go all the way with Lilly and let her go like that. Believe me it has crossed my mind not to get rid of her until I can make sure that happens but I am humble enough to know that she will be fine with someone else and the foundation is there.
  14. Spin Off On The Trailer Loading

    LC,..with horse folks? It is likely. We are a complicated and crazy bunch! I mean,..come on! It takes being half nuts to want to deal with 1200 lb animals like we do! But as we grow older,..we learn. Things aren't always so black and white. Horse aren't cookie cutter. But if we do nothing else in life? We at least leave behind the question. "Was that horse crazy or was I just NOT the right person for it?" Lilly taught me that. I am okay with not being her best teacher? But I AM okay with being her best STUDENT! I love that about myself. That my ego allowed me to go there. I only pray others can find that peace.