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About hlocke09

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  1. The "circle Of Trust" Pt. Ii

    KTS----If we were still talking all the time, I'd stop talking to you because you met JOSH RITTER. But since we haven't talked in such a long time, how are you? How is life, work, horses, etc?
  2. The "circle Of Trust" Pt. Ii

    Haha, I'm no longer quite so sure about that. The difference is that he is *free* to see who he wishes.....although I still like him and he told me he still likes me. For several reasons, however, I feel as though he might be taking the "hooking-up-with-other-people-to-get-over-H" route.....a route I'm certainly not taking. I want him to be happy and if him going after girls will bring him happiness, than so be it. But it will/does still hurt like heck.
  3. The "circle Of Trust" Pt. Ii

    Wow. This is word for word EXACTLY how I'm feeling about Jon.
  4. The "circle Of Trust" Pt. Ii

    Not dealing. I'm really not dealing well. I want my best friend back. Not someone who runs into me a thousand times in a week but can only say "Hi" to me two times out of that thousand. I understand that that is where he is right now but I.....I'm still just so caught, so lost, so frustrated, so hurt. I don't exactly understand why.
  5. The "circle Of Trust" Pt. Ii

    Hey guys! I have a great update that I think some of you will like. Jon, after seven weeks of not talking to me, reached out to me yesterday. He sent me a message via Facebook (of course he did) but apparently he was stressing over whether to call me or text me but he knew I would be asleep (it was late at night....1 am on Tuesday). Smart boy. So anyways, I didn't see the message until 5 pm-ish on Tuesday (he checked it obsessively all day). Anyhoo, I responded simply and after a little back and forth, I texted him saying that while we could do this over Facebook, I'd much rather we did this face to face. He responded saying "Fact is that I miss you and only face to face could fix that". So we met up at 11:30 pm and sat down and talked....about his family (crazy), about his classes and my classes (normal), etc. And then I just looked at him and said "We're not really here to talk about classes, are we Jon?" (I've got balls). So we moved into tougher about the conversation. He took a while to get it out, he really struggled, but he finally said "I still like you" and I quietly said "And I still like you". There was that brief moment of silence because we both know that it isn't going to happen right now. He, frankly, needs to work on himself. He has got so many anxiety and insecurity issues going on, and I need to work on me---I need to work on treating people better. Plus, whether or not he admits it (he doesn't like to admit) I can't be used as a form of escape......a relationship cannot serve as a band-aid to desperately place over the mess that is your life & psychology and think that it is going to work. Relationships don't work like that. You need to work on you and take care of yourself before you are able to give 100% to a relationship. So we're going to try a friendship. He is going to talk to me in public now (which is good because we go to a small school and it was getting terribly awkward) and I think we will hang out now and then but....its going to be a trial and error method. Its going to be hard to navigate this friendship when we both are trying to get over each other. Particularly Jon. He is a monogamous crusher. And everyone knows that the only way he will get over anyone to hook up with someone else, which is going to be tough for me to witness. I'm just so glad to be talking to my best friend again. It was such a relief to talk to him. I couldn't stop smiling. The friendship is going to be tough (its always tough to go back after crossing that line) but I think we can do it. Plus, both of us are studying abroad hopefully this upcoming Spring semester....we'll be in two different countries and we will have two incredibly different experiences. I think it will be good for us. Thanks for listening/reading!
  6. Bye Kasey

    Okay, so this sounds a bit far-fetched, but is there anyway you can post this on GCC or General Horse Talk or H/J and ask to see if anyone is looking for a horse like her? Perhaps someone from HC that you know could take her in your area and then you could visit her/at least know that she is in a good home....
  7. The "circle Of Trust" Pt. Ii

    vito----I think this boy has potential---its always odd (but exciting) to have a confident, nice, sweet boy pursue you because you are like "wait...me?". So I totally understand. Just listen to your inner radar and if for some reason he comes off as "off", even if you don't have any evidence----trust it and run far far away.
  8. Aspca Maclays

    I agree with this post entirely! You guys weren't necessarily condescending---I completely and 100% understand how frustrating it is to say the same thing over and over again to one person, particularly when you are only trying to help the person. I just think that sometimes we forget how to phrase things in the best ways :) And yes, there was another post about this, but at least there wasn't 5 million posts about this, rehashing the same thing---we all have been through that on this board and I, too, get very frustrated in that situation. I think this situation just needed further context, explanation, and most importantly, percolation time. It sometimes takes a little bit for reality/information to sink into a person's brain :) 2 posts? A rehashing of the same topic? Part of the price of being part of a caring community online. 5 million rehashing? Totally deserving of a little tough love. Also part of the price of being part of a caring community online. Nothing against you guys at all! You brought wonderful advice and information to both posts
  9. The "circle Of Trust" Pt. Ii

    I don't understand this either.
  10. Aspca Maclays

    Well-done, well-said, mature, not condescending. Thank you, goldentoes, as usual. To the rider in question: Please consider goldentoes advice. I do think trying the 2'6" out on the A circuit, pinning well, then trying the 3' on the A is a solid, wonderful plan that is achievable for you. But it will take a lot of work. I highly recommend looking into a second trainer (to supplement), finding clinics to go to (dressage and more h/j ones....you'd be surprised. I saw your videos and I think that a dressage trainer/clinic might be able to help you refine some aids), and ride ride ride ride ride. Seriously. I like that nice mare you are on----is she super duper fancy? No. But she is solid and I do like her. Definitely continue to work on her but also, part of improving as a rider is learning to ride all sorts of horses, and learning how to better communicate your aids so that you can hop on 80% of the world's mediocre-ly trained horses and cue them well. Try that. I think that we'd love to see more updates from you and to see you progress :)
  11. The "circle Of Trust" Pt. Ii

    On the topic of flirtation.....frankly, girls, I often don't know when I'm being flirted with until someone else points it out later, after the fact. Probably one of the many reasons that I'm single right now (despite the fact that being single was my choice!). I miss Jon. I can't keep track of Krystal's love life. At all.
  12. To The Best Horse Ever

    I'm so sorry, my dear. I know that you loved this horse dearly and let it be known that not only did he know that you loved him, but that he adored you too. He lead a long and beautiful and spoiled life and that is all that even the best ponies can ask for. You did the right thing.
  13. The "circle Of Trust" Pt. Ii

    Rough day. Wish I could talk to my rock about it. Can't. #life
  14. The "circle Of Trust" Pt. Ii

    I'm so glad that you realize that you deserve better than that! If someone is unstable or insecure in their own internal matters, it makes it hard to have a stable relationship with another person----its one thing to have the whoops-moment we are all granted and make few mistakes, but to make it a lifestyle? Not healthy.
  15. The "circle Of Trust" Pt. Ii

    Love love love these new updates. Living vicariously through you all. Jon spoke a couple words to when necessary but otherwise, is trying to continue the not-talking-to-Hannah thing....on a REALLY small campus in a REALLY small friend circle. Let's see how that goes. I've been dreaming non-stop of him just *talking* to me. pathetic.