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I have this friend who lately I've been feeling a more than a little frustrated with... and vice versa... It's really hard to explain, but our friendship started in the 6th grade. We were absolute best friends and were always at each others houses, etc... However, even back then I kinda had a feeling that she was just using me for access to my great uncle's horses, as the second she got her own mare several years later she absolutely quit wanting to come over and ride, etc... Over the years, I'll admit and accept that we've grown apart some. She decided that she wanted to pursue a career in horse-training (though I personally don't like her training methods and wouldn't send a horse to her... I've witnessed her hit a horse repeatedly in the side of the face with her fist to teach it to disengage its forequarters) while I've decided to pursue a career in foodservice administration, have horses as a side-hobby and rescue and rehab them whenever I can. Fast forwards some... A few years ago I was having some major issues with keeping weight on my senior mare during winter. I later found out that she was suffering from vitamin deficiencies, got them sorted out and got her on a balanced feed and haven't had problems since... however, when I was having all those problems with my mare, I ran across a post on another website (that we are both members of) where she had stated some things about the care my horses get, etc... and in general made herself out to be great and made me sound like I didn't care one whit about my horses... ever since then, too, I've noticed that whenever something comes up on that forum concerning me and her, people there are much more likely to take her side or agree with her and completely bash and flame me before even hearing my side... it's rather upsetting to think that my 'friend' would need to make me out to be a horrible person just so she can feel better about herself. I never confronted her over the post, either, but here are a few of the things she wrote about me... Now, as far as this goes, I did only get my first job at 22, but not for lack of looking. Before I was hired where I am now, I was a full-time college student and had been looking for a job since getting out of high school. As far as living at home, I still do. I live with my great grandmother and am her primary caretaker. When she goes (hopefully not for another twenty years or more) I stand to inherit the house, yard and barn while my mom and aunt stand to inherit 12 acres of our 50 acre pasture. My great uncle (my father-figure who never did like my friend) used to pay the vet bills for my horses because he saw that as part of his job as my 'fatherly role model'. He refused to let me help out on anything (feed, vet, farrier, etc...). After he died, I was still job-hunting, but I managed to always have money for horse feed, farrier, and vet calls... on the two times the vet cost more than I expected, my mom helped by paying half. I also know that about half the time my friends fiance is the one footing her horsey bills, whereas nowadays I'm footing my own equine bills (and a truck payment, an internet payment, a phone bill and half the directTV bill as well as paying half on groceries every week) alone. As far as routine care for my horses goes, I'm sorry, but I'm not the type of person who calls the vet out for every little scrape or cut my horses get. The vet gets called out for emergencies, deep gashes, teeth problems, etc... things such as abscesses, minor wounds, etc... I handle myself after an over-the-phone consultation with the vet. My mare was the one getting thin through winter and we got that fixed as soon as we figured out what was wrong, and as far as their hooves go, no, I don't have the farrier out every 6 weeks... but I do most of my own trimming and my horses hooves look good enough that my farrier has even complimented me on how well I trim them. This really upsets me... the fact that this girl lies to other people by writing something like this. I have never and will never 'rip a bit through a horses mouth'. What she did on this horse was to put a bridle on him and tie the rein to the saddle with his nose touching it until he gave. I've done that with a halter once, but I have never been as rough as what she said about me... And as for her 'I'm better' comment... that really makes me just want to say "If you're 'better' than me, then why did you get passed up for the barn manager job and why did it get offered to me instead?" Fast forwards to lately... We've gone to a few shows together and competed, and each time I've scored much higher than her... when I do, though, she gets all upset and acts like everyone is against her... (for example, we went to one show and she was scored low due to excessive jerking on the reins and being extremely heavy handed... later, on the way home, she started talking about how things aren't fair and everyone is against her and how she should just give up her dream of being a trainer, etc...)... I was chosen to be the barn manager for a local summer camp place out here where I live. I'm getting paid to care for, ride and work out problems with the horses. Because I prefer to ride with someone, I convinced the director to hire my friend as well in a 'trainer' capacity (basically, pay her to ride horses with me...)... Well, it was great at first, but lately she's gotten very demanding (she's demanding that we pay her more, etc... neither of us is on salary and she's upset because I'm paid more than she is, but I've been there longer and have seniority... we get paid hourly...). Like, I've set up the tack room the way I like it, and she comes in and moves things around, rearranges the horses halters (we have racks for each horse and I'll come in sometimes and she'll have like, a pony sized halter hanging on the TB's rack, etc...). She tries to tell me how to do my job. She tries to tell me how to feed the horses, tries to tell me how to work with them, etc... Today we had the vet out and she got super upset because we were having the vet check all the horses teeth... she got very upset because we had him check one geldings teeth that had just been floated within the past two months... claimed it was a waste of time and money, but the vet charged us nothing to check the gelding and really it was none of her business... We were also talking about how she wants to color code the horses tack and equipment, and I said 'no', because it really don't matter and we don't have the extra funds for that right now. She tried to tell me to go and tell our director that we need a couple thousand in cash to go buy horse stuff. When I said no, she said that we can just start 'taking stuff home' and tell the director that the horses are destroying it, so he'd have to buy more... I said no, but it really frustrated me that she'd even think of doing something like that... Also, she gave me a TWH gelding a few weeks ago. He's registered in my name and he and I aren't that compatible, riding-wise, but I do like him. My cousin loves him, though. I've leased him out for a year to the camp program and mentioned in passing that after the lease is up, I'm either going to give him to my cousin or sell him. Well, today she says to me "Just give him back to me or give him to _____ (a friend of ours). I've told her about him and she likes him." Well, a few months ago my friend was all angry because the lady who gave this horse to her was trying to do the same thing my friend is now trying to do to me... give 'my' horse away without my consent. I think the reason she wants him back is so she can trade him for a mare she really likes... Newsflash... I'm not giving him back and I'm not giving him away to anyone except maybe my cousin... Sorry for the novel... I just had to rant... any advice?