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erin_iwamoto

Dressage Board's Chit Chat Thread Vol. 2

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You guys ever make stall toys for your horses? Gatsbys used to be so good in a stall, but sence hes tasted freedom he'd rather be outside now [big Grin]

I thought about make him to stall toys, any ideas?

I already made him one using a milk jug, i put some coins in it so it rattles and make noise. Any other ideas? Maybe if he keeps himself busy it will take the edge off too, lol [Roll Eyes][big Grin]

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Hanging things, like that jug or a ball (Jolly Balls are really cheap) from a rope in the stall is a lot of fun for some horses. There are a few at my trainers who just LOVE this and have well.. a ball.. lol.. playing with it.

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BQD, when does the saddle fitter come? My old dressage club, before we moved here, had a saddle fitter come do a clinic. I know you guys will know who he is, but I am probably going to get his name wrong. It was Josh or something Schleese? Anyway, I didn't get to go, but people who did loved it.

Toys are good. I used to use old laundry jugs for stall toys for my colts.

Inky, watch out for all that animal waste. Eeeiuuuw. I know how you feel! [Mad]

SG, I think the Pet store sounds more like a job you enjoy. If the 2nd interview lands you the big co. job, then great, in the mean time, the pet store would be fun and plenty of other opportunities will come along.

I just found out my new trainer is also an "L" judge. I think that's great. She really knows what to look for then! [smile]

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So I get to the barn this a.m. and there is still a chill in the air. I watch as this "trainer" walks a wringing wet horse back to his stall. I thought, wow, did he just hose him off? As he gets closer to me, I can see the horse is wringing wet and all covered in lather. Then I saw the saddle over by the hitching rail where he had just unsaddled the horse. So he had worked him pretty hard. He then proceeds to put the horse in the stall, soaking wet, covered in lather and there is lots of feed and water in the stall still from breakfast! [Eek!][Mad] And this guy calls himself a trainer????

[ 10-26-2005, 03:22 PM: Message edited by: Boocoo ]

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lol i think yo saw the male version of my old trainer! HAHA [big Grin]

i hate seeing that, we'd think OMG that horse is going to get sick or oh hes gonna colic, how does that "trainer" get away with that? But of course it seems THEIR horses never get sick, its always the owners who take really good care of their horses who end up getting sick. I HATE that! its like putting your horse out in a spotless pastures and he finds someway to hurt himself BUT if you put him out with old cars and barbed wirehe'd never get hurt. [Roll Eyes] lol hope that made sense.

The saddle fitter is comin on Tuesday Boocoo! [Yay]

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Boocoo what do you mean by an "L" judge? [Duh]

I might get a puppy. I'm pretty excited about that. I have to wait at least until May, though.

Post that video of Gatsby chasing the poor kitty! Sounds hilarious. Poor thing, just wanted to take a poo...

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Spaceman, dressage judges go through USDF judgeing programs to learn and become certified as a judge.

The USDF 'L" graduates are Learners judges and can judge schooling shows.

(DB) is a judge that can judge Dressage Breed Shows.

® judges can judge training level through 2nd level only.

® judges can judge training through 4th level.

(S) judges can judge All levels. Training through Grand Prix.

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Boocoo, thanks for posting that, I always wondered about the judges and never think to ask!

Inky - I am sorry your day was so, well, shi**y! [Huggy] It always seems like everything happens at once.

Bis - We need some recent Gatsby pictures! The kitty story reminded me. [Wink]

DawnC - Yes, the weather has definetly taken a turn for the worse. But today was nice. You're in the Dallas area too, right? I'm in Kaufman county (45 miles southeast of Dallas).

Krazy - The site sounds awesome. You must be very excited! Planning a wedding can be so stressful, you're smart to start early.

My mom is definetly getting the PMU mares. They will be here Sunday, and live here until she gets a better set-up at her house. So we're very excited about that!

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Wild Oaks, you are welcome.

Best of luck with the PMU mares to!

Ok, I must have some crazy burst of energy, cause I just sat here and completely took apart my new bling, bling, bridle and oiled it, cleaned the bit, oiled my tall boots and cleaned my show saddle pad. [Crazy] I guess it never hurts to be prepared well in advance right? I have about two and a half weeks till the show. I did his mane yesterday and that way it will fall nice by the day of the show. I hate to be rushed and always like to be very well prepared. Eliminates a whole lot of stress, ya know? [Wink]

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quote:

Originally posted by Wild Oaks Farm:

[QB]

Inky - I am sorry your day was so, well, shi**y!
[Huggy]
It always seems like everything happens at once.

QB]

Haha! Literally! [ROTFL] Sorry saw that and couldn't help myself! Be sure to bring the camera out for the mares [Wink] Did you mention what breed/crosses they were?

Hey Bonnie, glad you joined us for this go-round! When do you find out if you get the puppy or not?

BQD, yes get that video up, it sounds hilarious and something that Inky would try to pull! I hope the saddle fitter can help you guys out, definately keep us updated when he comes out.'

Boocoo, I get those sporadic moments of cleaning my tack as well. I have to take my boots to a cobbler now though, my calves are officially too large for them. It was a sad sad day when I discovered that, especially since they're Ariats [Frown]

Remmie, did you come home with any new horses or tack today? [Wink]

Congrats KrazyTB! That must be a huge load off your shoulders to get that off your mind.

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Inky, I believe I will be taking my boots to the cobbler also, after the show of course. They are to large around the top of my calfs and need a dart put in to make them fit snugger. Sorry about your Ariats. I would love to own a pair of Ariat tall boots someday! Santa, do you hear this request? Think he'll bring me some under the tree? [Crazy]

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quote:

Originally posted by Boocoo:

Inky, I believe I will be taking my boots to the cobbler also, after the show of course. They are to large around the top of my calfs and need a dart put in to make them fit snugger. Sorry about your Ariats. I would love to own a pair of Ariat tall boots someday! Santa, do you hear this request? Think he'll bring me some under the tree?
[Crazy]

Boocoo, my Ariats were a miracle and my pride and joy... grandchampiontack.com was having a huge clearance sale and I bought a pair of brand new ones for.... FIFTEEN DOLLARS!!!! [shocked] Sadly (though not surprisingly lol) they sold out. Who would've thought? [Razz] (Now I'm giving away my surfing-for-clearance-sales nerdiness!)

[ 10-26-2005, 11:40 PM: Message edited by: Inky ]

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So I have a bit of a problem. More of a vent but I need advice. I trust you guys to offer it.

So a bit of background. My parents are divorced. Happened when I was like 9 or something. I dont quite remember. I went up with my brother and saw my dad every other weekend. Then my mom remarried and we moved here to Fl. Still continued to see my dad every other weekend. My dad, brother, and myself are all very much alike. Stubborn, quick temper, etc. Anyways, story short, my dad and brother had gotten into a big fight and disowned each other. After that I started coming to see him by myself as well. Then we started having fights. Over stupid things. He was just always on my case about something.

Anyways, after one major fight at his house (he lives in North Ga) I made the decision to quit going up there. I was 11-12. Over the course of the next year or 2, I didnt hear from him really. A few calls here, a card here or there. He really never called or attempted to see me.

Then, in 1998, when I was 14, my brother, 19, was killed by a drunk driver. I hadnt spoken to my father in about 2 years. I had to call him that night and tell him. He came down to the funeral.. I dont really remember much from that time.

But what I do remember is that from then until 2002, I maybe spoke to him 3 times. It angered me that he wasnt a man and wouldnt even call me. But I was mad at him and didnt WANT to talk to him or see him.

Finally, in 2002, when I graduated, I was the bigger person and sent him an invite to my graduation. He came. From then, we have spoken maybe every 3-6 months, depending. If he comes down here for business, we will go to dinner. Ill get a card sometimes for my bday or Xmas. Nothing major.

I even took Randy up there (my first time up to his house in over 6 years) to meet him and my step mom. Even then, he STILL got on my *** about something. Nothings ever good enough for him.

Anyways, enough rambling. As you can see, my "relationship" with my father is anything but good. I decided to forgive him and let go of the anger I had with him and make the most out of what we did have. But then a few months ago, I found out some things that were really pathetic. That he was too little of a man to even attempt to help pay for things like my insurance and college, even though hes required to b/c its in the divorce. That he cant even own up to his responsibilities. And it made me even madder.

I see a lot of myself in this man and I hate it. My temper, my need for control, my attitude, my mannerisums (sp). It sickens me. I use that as an example to remind myself of how not to act.

So my step mom called me today to ask some questions for the insurance policy. We got to talking and I found out that my father caused my step sister, who is 16, to move out b/c he was on her case about something all the time and making both of their lives living hells. He found out that she had personal relations with her boyfriend (and she told her mother) and he felt that if she could make that adult decision that she could make everything an adult decision. He wouldnt allow her to eat any of the food inside the house, use any detergent to wash her clothes, and said she was a bad kid. And this is his STEP daughter. Mind you, this girl is 16, already a manager at her job, pays for her car and her insurance, and makes straight A's. This child is anything but a bad kid.

He is also verbal abusive and condensending to my step mother. All the things that my mother and our family went through. She said she cant deal with it anymore esp after him threatening to leave if her daughter moved back in. So shes going to get a seperation.

This is makes me so mad. He has 2 other kids from a previous marriage that he has NO contact with. Hes a grandfather, and doesnt even know his grandkids. Then he pushed my brother away. Then me. Now my step sister. Its just pathetic.

Anyways, basically, I dont feel like hes been much of a father to me. My step dad has been more of a father to me in the last 12 years than my dad has been in my 21 years of life.

Ive already mentioned that my father and my step dad would both be walking me down the aisle. He gave me a smirk. Then when I asked for assistance for the wedding, even a small amount, he laughed in my face. Then he told me he wouldnt come to the rehersal dinner b/c it will be at my parents new house. Mind you, the same parents who had my dad stay the night for Xmas' so my brother and I could wake up Xmas morning with all of our parents.

All he does is complain. Nothings ever good enough for him. I already know that he will piss and moan about the ceremony and probably wont stick around for the reception. And if he does, he'll sit around complaining and making a scene.

Part of me doesnt even want to INVITE him to the wedding much less have him walk me down the aisle. But I cannot be that mean and cruel. I know part of the reason he is the way he is is b/c of how he was raised. His parents were worse than he is. But I also know as a human being you have the ability to change. I also know we are both very much alike and under that hard and tough shell is someone who cares and hurts. And if I did that to him, it would crush him. And I am a caring person and no matter how badly I would want to do that, I couldnt.

So what do I do? I want to tell him all these things but talking to him is like screaming at a brick wall. Its all about him. He isnt open to anyone elses feelings.

What do I do? [surrender] It feels nice to actually get this out. Maybe I should just write it all down and send it to him. But what good would that do? Geez.

If anyone has read all of this, you deserve an award. When I get going, its hard to get me to stop.

[Confused]

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[Huggy][Huggy] That's a real tough one Shantel, first off, (this is not meant to be condescending at all) have you sought any counseling for your past? Counseling can really help you learn how to deal with the issues you mention you struggle with that you see in yourself, been there myself [Wink] As far as he goes, I have never been in that situation, so I could not really tell you what to do on a personal account, but I would try to write him a letter detailing exactly how you feel, and see how he reacts to it. Writing a letter is sometimes better than one on one conversation because the other person can't talk back to you [Wink] Does he actually take it in and see where you're coming from, or does he brush it off and laugh at you. I see your conundrum of excluding him at your wedding, but if it's the latter, I would personally rather not invite him, as not to potentially ruin what should be one of the happiest days in your life. [Huggy]

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Yeh, Ive talked to counselers. My mom works for a psychologist. I usually go in and talk to him whenever something bothers me. Maybe Ill go talk to him about this again.

Ugh. Men. I swear.

[bang Head]

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Shantel, I think that talking to a counselor or even talking this situation out with your mom (if you haven't already) would be the best thing. That sounds like a tough situation, and I honestly can't give you advice because I have no clue what I would even do in a situation like that. [Huggy]

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Board buds, I am so stressed out right now.

I am usually a firm believer in the idea that God doesn't give a person more then they can handle. But right now, I feel like God has stiffed me. I cannot handle what I am doing right now. Everyday I wake up wanting to cry. And every night, I wake up every hour on the hour dreading the upcoming day. I don't know whether it's working two jobs that is bothering me so much, or the fact that I my full-time job is nothing like they presented it to be and I dislike it so much. But things just aren't working out the way they were supposed to.

I had thought that this is where God wanted me to be, and I was so excited. But now I just don't understand his reasoning.

I am so tired, and I am in so much physical pain. And I'm really hurt because I don't think anyone close to me truly realizes the extent of the pain and tiredness I am experiencing.

I don't know what to do. I can't quit this full-time job. I'd let everyone down if I did.

I don't know how much longer I can do this.

Well, I should go. I have to work both jobs again today. Yay for working 7:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. [Me Cry]

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KrazyTBMare: He's the only biological father you have and you obviously love him. He is a pain in the ###**, he drives you nuts, hurts you, but you love him. Have him at the wedding. Have him walk you down the aisle with your stepfather. You are going to second guess it for the rest of your life if you don't.

There's not much he can say at the wedding. He will hardly pick a fight on the way down the aisle. You will not really see him before the wedding. If he chooses not to come to the reception, that's GREAT! It's his choice, you didn't make it. Don't encourage him to come. He knows himself even better than you. It may be his way of not ruining the day for you.

You have been good at forgiving him for his weakness and lack of character. Keep it up. You are all grown up now. Talking to him every 6 months is fine, no big deal. You have your mom and stepdad to celebrate with. Let your dad do the wedding in his own way. You can't get things from him that he can't give. It's not in him for whatever reason. Accept that.

It's none of your business what happens with his new family. Do not get involved. Do not get in the middle. You just cannot. They are grown people also. They will have to handle it as best they can. Maybe the same way your mom did. But, it is their problem and not yours. Don't take it on. IMO, his wife should not have even shared with you. You have enough to worry about. Your dad is NOT your responsibility. You have NO control over his behavior. The only behavior you can control is your own. If you see things in you that you'd like to work on, then work on them. You are strong enough to change them.

Lots of people are cursed with relatives they wish they could erase from their pedigree. You can't though, but you can distance yourself as you have and you can deal with them on a minimal level.

Also, as far as him not helping with the wedding, etc. Sorry, but IMO, kids are NOT ENTITLED to financial help from parents beyond age 18. There is nothing that says that parents MUST help with wedding or schooling finances beyond a certain age. LOTS of kids do not get that. My own kids paid 98% of their college expenses and their cars and the one who is married paid most of his own wedding expenses. I paid for rehearsal dinner and that's all. Her parents could not afford to help at all. So What! They could have gotten married in the courthouse and it would have cost them next to nothing if they couldn't afford to do it themselves. Noone paid for my wedding. We paid the whole thing ourselves and we borrowed nothing to do it. We had a wedding we could afford as did my son. Big weddings are a luxury, not an entitlement. If you can afford it and want it, then fine. If not, it's no-one's obligation/responsibility to make it happen for you.

Everyone has a difficult time with wedding planning. I believe that is just because they get too caught up in the peripheral things as you are agonizing through. As long as you enjoy yourself, feel beautiful and exchange rings with the love of your life, it will feel absolutely perfect.

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quote:

Originally posted by Remmie:

As long as you enjoy yourself, feel beautiful and exchange rings with the love of your life, it will feel absolutely perfect.

Remmie is SOOO WISE! [big Grin] Krazy... I would say something, but I think it is covered.

Your wedding is for you and your future husband and no one else. I don't buy in to that whole trying to make everyone else happy BS. They should be happy to see YOU happy. If they aren't, well, that is their problem, not yours.

Reeeemmmmmiiiiiieeeeeee.... how did the Paso and TWH look? Any decisions made either way, or are you still torturing yourself about it?

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SG: So sorry you are in the middle of a rough patch. All I can say is to remind you that it IS temporary. Do what you need to do to stay sane and healthy.

It'll get better... you just got to wait it out a little longer.

[Huggy] Hang in there.

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I'm going to have a slightly different take on this one from Remmie, but no disrespect intended, just a different point of view.

First of all, I'm glad that you talk with councilors because that can help you sort out your feelings because in a great many ways, you are being held hostage by them and how you "should" feel because of being biologically linked to your father. Over the last few years of working in an attorney's office, I've seen families break up and split/drift apart, and one good thing is that you do realize that none of this is your fault, but your father is seriously lacking in parenting skills. To borrow a phrase from Dr. Phil, you teach people how to treat you and this man, your father, has not lived up to any of his responsibilies where you have been concerned: not paying his bills (and beyond that you are his child and court ordered or not, that is his moral obligation), not controlling his anger, being a critical spirit, not bringing joy into a relationship. Would you allow your husband to be to be this type of father to your children? If not why is it good enough for you?

This brings me to another point. You have already said that your step father has been a real father to you. My question to you is why in the world would you ask your father--who laughed in your face when you asked him to contribute to your wedding--to be part of your wedding when he has not been part of your life? He refuses to participate at the rehersal dinner--in other words he only wants to play at his own agenda which is what he has always done, and don't you think that has gone on long enough? While I imagine your step-father is being a good sport, I also urge you to look at this from his point of view. Your father is behaving like a spoiled bad bully of a child and you need to set boundaries.

As to paying for things, I think it is the spirit of things. It would be nice for him to contribute something--I certainly understand about paying for everything because I paid for my undergrad and postgrad degrees and my husband and I dated for 5 years so he could finish school and we could afford a nice wedding.

This isn't about being a mean person--you certainly aren't a mean person--look how much you are trying. You feel sorry for him and you feel guilty because you do not have the relationship you wish you had. If he did not come, would you actually miss him or would you miss the idea of the father you wish he would have been? People can change, but they also have to be willing to change. You have to do everything you can to facilitate that, but you also have to have boundaries and it sounds like you need to set some.

It is a very hard thing to set boundaries with people, especially when they are behaving badly. It is worth it and you can be very kind about. This is your wedding and they are stressful enough. You need to make sure you are happy, your fiance is happy and that you keep the stress to a minimum--keep the conflict to a minimum too. I hope it gets better

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Krazy - That's a tough one. I didn't want to invite my Dad's SO to my wedding because she's a drunk you-know-what, but I did. And it turned out ok. But it's YOUR day, and you should do whatever you think is best for YOU.

SG - It sounds like you should quit your new job. You won't be letting anybody down. Unless you stay and re miserable with it...trust me, your husband would prefer a happy wife! [Wink] Can you stay at the pet shop for awhile instead? Don't worry about letting the people down at your new job. They misrepresented the job; it's not your fault!

Inky - The mares are Percheron and Appy. I was going to post links to their ad on petfinder.com, but they had already been taken down. I'll get lots of pics this weekend.

Remmie - Any new horses???

Hope everyone has a great day (or a better day if it's not going well [Frown] )

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SG, I don't believe that God is stiffing you right now. He has a plan for each and every one of us. We don't always listen though. He did give us a free will. You will make the right choice for yourself. My opinion is, quit the new job you hate so much and stay at the Pet store full time. See what happens with the 2nd interview with the Big Co. If that doesn't pan out, other opportunities will come along. You need to quit killing yourself working all these hours. Everyone around you suffers, but most of all you. I am guessing you are fairly young, so you have plenty of time. Don't rush things. BTW, what does your hubby think of all this? Hang in there. It will work out! [Huggy]

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Wow I've been so absorbed in my own drama I've been out of touch with all the pain on this thread.... [Eek!]

First of all, [Huggy] to everyone who's going through icky stuff right now. Except Remmie, who's dealing with rescuing some needy horses...you have a thumbs-up instead. (I don't see that icon down here [Wink] )

SG--there are other jobs out there. Don't even think about "letting" anyone "down"...trust me, they won't even blink, they'll just find another sucker to take your place. No job is worth killing yourself for...and this from an old bag who's devoted herself to a career all her adult life. Work hard, do your best at all times, but don't expect an employer to give a rat's rump about you personally. They DON'T, okay? So be loyal to your priorities--not to an employer, unless they give you a ton of reason to be (rare in this day & age).

There are reasons for everything...and God puts us places sometimes when we have no clue what it is exactly that we're supposed to be doing there. Just trust Him, He'll find the right spot for you and He reveals his plan to you in His time. You're in my prayers.

As for the wedding princess (I don't recall who, DawnC is it you?) if your bio-dad was a jerk he doesn't deserve the honor of walking you down the aisle. Who was your dad?--the man who watched you grow, taught you things by example and by leadership, took care of your needs, THAT'S the guy who needs to walk you down the aisle. Forget about the other guy...he doesn't rate your anger, hurt or disappointment. Just feel pity for him because someday he'll wise up about what he's done and then it'll be too late.

DQ

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Boocoo - Doesn't really matter what type of reins I use, my hands slip because I can't seem to get it through my thick skull to KEEP MY STUPID FINGERS CLOSED, CLOSED, CLOSED!!!! I swear Julie must be about two steps away from beating me with my own dressage whip. For that reason, I prefer the web reins with the little leather tabs. At least they alert me that I am letting my reins slide as I feel the little leather tabs slipping between my fingers. So your trainer gives you homework as well?!?! Julie does that to me, too. Love it. I never have to ponder what to work on in my schooling rides because Julie has already assigned me my homework!! Very cool that your trainer is also an "L" judge. I'm the same way you are - I prep well in advance of a show. Good luck at the show!!

SG - You are not a wuss or a quitter. It is one thing to work two jobs that you are FAMILAR with, but it is totally different to try to work two jobs when one of them is a brand new job. Starting a new job is really draining both mentally and physically. After you get up to speed at the new job, if you are finding that you just really need a little extra cash, then maybe you can go back to the pet store and talk to them about picking up some part time hours temporarily to help out. I'm sure they could use a little extra help especially right around the Christmas season. Sorry to hear the job isn't what they said it would be. Can you schedule the call back with the big company?? Try to. Keep interviewing with them if at all possible and continue to pursue that opportunity to the bitter end. Hope your hand is better. That sounds like a bad burn.

Inky - PROBABLY gas?? You have to be kidding?!?! How infuriating!! Glad to hear you are getting a second opinion, but 6 WEEKS??? Good grief!! That first doctor needs to be put out of business. That vet visit sounds like a 3 ring circus. Better you than me!! Hope all the pets are feeling better, and you got a little rest. Sorry to hear about the anxiety attack - that sounds dreadful. Tell those pets the least they could do is behave when you are having a rough morning!! Inky, I'll loan you the extra width from my boots - my NEW boots are now officially TOO BIG in the calf for me. I have GOT to stop losing weight. This is getting ridiculous.

BQD - Sorry to hear that the new saddle didn't fit. I hope the saddle fitter is able to offer up an economical solution for you and Gatsby. Don't worry about the tack store lady - she is just cranky because she is worried she is losing your business to the saddle fitter. At least your new trainer cares enough to take an interest in ALL of Gatsby's training. She may not care for TBs in general, but I'm sure Gats will win her over on an individual level. Just remember that she is the trainer and you are the owner. When she offers suggestions, you have to decide how much of that you are willing to accept. The final decision always rests squarely on your shoulders. She guides, you decide. Be prepared for intelligent, thoughtful discussions and make her offer up alternate solutions if you don't like her first suggestion. I've seen you do it here so I know you can do it. For example, you could have said to her, "I don't feel comfortable hobbling Gats because ______, but I would really like him to learn to stand quietly on the cross ties. Is there anything else I could do to help teach him?" That probably would have led to a good discussion between you and your trainer, and both of you would have walked away from the discussion feeling alot better about the relationship. Bis, we have three barn cats that use our indoor as a litter box. Raz LOVES to use their "squat time" as an opportunity to go check them out as it is the only time they sit still long enough for him to walk up close enough to sniff them. I don't think the cats care for Raz very much, but he sure LOVES them!!

Wild Oaks - The new PMUs sound like fun projects. Will they be at your house long enough for the Percheron to foal? How's that pregnant donkey doing?? Do you have a baby yet?? Glad to hear you got a good ride in on your horses, and they weren't too crazy after all the time off.

Shantel - Glad to hear you had a good ride on Layla. Sounds like you two are really reconnecting. Isn't horse laundry FUN!!! Instead of running the machine on rinse 85 thousand times trying to get all the horse hair out which never works - take a damp rag (which you don't care about) and wipe the machine out thoroughly, then throw the rag away, THEN run the machine on rinse once and THAT will clean the machine out. We have this great laundrymat just down the road from us that is "unattended". I go there to do Raz's small stuff - fly sheet, stable sheet, sadddle pads, etc. I use thin "under pads" that I wash weekly at home to save my expensive saddle pads from needing washing too often. The under pads and polos I wash at home. All the big heavy blankets I send out to a professional to have washed. LOVE the reception site!! Congrats!!!

Remmie - So glad to hear you weathered the storm well. I was watching the weather channel and thinking of you through the worst of it praying it would pass by the Tampa area. I can not believe what a drastic temperature drop you had. We are used to that sort of thing around here, but in FL, that can't be normal. Its fine for the people who can put on an extra sweater or coat, but it can really mess with the poor horses who have fine summer coats - sweating one minute, shivering the next. Poor Tristan! Bundle him up and tuck him in. Glad to hear the ducks are happy at least!! Hey, Remmie, a glide ride would be nice . . . provided you could get close enough to the glide ride to get ON THE glide ride!!!! He sure is cute though. Maybe you should talk BQD into packing up Gatsby and moving down there to be your stablehand.

DQ - Sorry to hear about the car troubles. I hate car troubles. They are the worst. They make you feel so helpless. And I never trust that the mechanic is actually fixing the problem and charging me the right price. Jack trashed his Mercedes using it as a pickup truck moving stuff into the new house, etc., and it finally died about a week or so ago, so we just got a new car, a 2006 Toyota Camry. Not that *I* get to use it very much!! That's okay. He sold my ancient Honda, and I'm driving his 96 Toyota Corolla which I love to death, so that works for me.

Shantel - On the issue of your dad, and yes I did read all of it, I can certainly feel your pain and relate to your story. I come from a divorced home as well, I was 6. My father left after the divorce and basically just pretended I didn't exist anymore, so while my story is similar, it isn't nearly as bad as yours. My step father was there for me when I needed him far more than my real dad ever was. When I get married, it WILL be my step father that walks me down the aisle. I won't be sending an invitation to my real father. It would stress my mother out to have him there. I haven't seen nor had any contact with my real father since my grandmother's funeral in early 92 where he refused to even speak to me, so my decision is fairly uncomplicated. Yours isn't so easy. Where you have been having recent contact, you have a much harder choice to make. I can certainly see why you feel the need to invite him to your wedding despite the fact that you already know he will complain and cause problems. I have to agree with Fiona though, as she raises the exact reasons why I decided long ago that it would be my step dad not my real dad that walks me down the aisle. My step dad EARNED that right by being there for me through all the hard times. Whether or not you decide to invite him to the wedding, I can also see that your dad's behavior and attitude are eating away at you, but my bet is that trying to have a conversation with him will leave you feeling unsatisfied and frustrated. I think you ought to write it all out in a letter. Get it all down just perfect and mail it to him. You know he probably won't read it, but at least you have gotten it down on paper and sent it out. You have done the best you can to express your feelings. He has to do his part by reading the letter. If he doesn't, then there's nothing more you can do.

SG - We are going to have to have limit on how many crisis we have on this board in a week!!! So sorry to hear that you are so miserable in the new job. Do they perhaps have you tucked away learning some aspect of the job that you will need for later on down the road, or is this really "it". Are you just mentally and physically burned out from overdoing it recently?? If it looks like this is really "it" for the job, BAIL OUT NOW, take the full time job at the pet store, and grab that second interview with the Big Company. I don't care who thinks what. You have to think of your own sanity.

REMMIE - FESS UP, DID YOU GET THE HORSES OR NOT????????

Did I miss anyone????

~Shelly~

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quote:

Originally posted by deequeue:

As for the wedding princess (I don't recall who, DawnC is it you?) DQ

Not I... but I am glad to see that I am not the only one that gets confused!!!!

I've been married for a while now... got married outside in sandals... and then snacked on fried chicken. Don't think I ever qualified as a wedding princess!

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[Huggy][Huggy][Huggy][Huggy][Huggy]

I knew I could count on you guys. You each put what I was feeling into words. He was the best father he knew how to be. When I was a kid, he was a good father. He has become old and grumpy in his age. I would never forgive myself if I didnt invite him or have him walk me down the aisle. But Remmie, you are right, I will let him participate in the wedding however he can, and if that means he doesnt come to the rehersal dinner or reception, then so be it.

You are all right. I can only do so much and then its his turn. I will do what I can and then leave the rest up to him.

You guys just dont realize how much of a help you truly are. The words you type on this screen really do impact others lives. Thank God for you!

SG, wow girl. [Huggy] to you! You cant worry about letting anyone else down. You have to do whats right for you, not everyones idea of whats right for you. I remember you saying the other job wanted a 2nd interview? Try to squeeze that it. It sounded like a job you would enjoy. I thought you were putting your 2 wks in at the pet store? Play it by ear for a few weeks and see what happens. It has to get tough before it gets better. But, can you sit down with your hubby and tell him you need to talk to him? Get your thoughts out. Tell him how you are stressed. How you want to cry. Get all those thoughts that keep you up at night out so you can hopefully sleep better.

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