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Cassey

And what psychological aberration would this be?Update page 3, need some advice...

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OK, all you buddies who are good at figuring people out; I have an eye-roller for you.

Scenario: young couple. She treats him like crap; verbally, emotionally etc. He sits there and takes it, never talks back, never reacts to the venom she spews. She dance practices with a dance partner (because she claims her husband doesn't want to dance. He says he does want to dance, and is taking some lessons to prove it)

She won't practice with him because "she's too advanced" and "doesn't have fun with him".

Up until a few days ago, she would attend dances with her dance partner, and would try to talk her husband into not coming along. He usually did, where he would sit like a bump on a log while she danced up a storm with her practice partner.

Things apparently progressed, and right in front of him, they were mopping sweat off each other's brows, etc. The rest of us would sit with our jaws hitting the floor, he just sat there and took it.

He caught her in several lies, it goes on and on. Last week she told him she spent the evening with me; not a chance, I wouldn't spend a second with her, she made the hair on the back of my neck stand up from the first moment I met her.

He finally put a tap on their phone (or so he says) and got a three hour phone conversation proving their affair, full of graphic discussion about their "activities", and I'm not talking about the vertical, on the dance floor kind. Also heard her saying how much she hated him, etc.

He put a GPS unit on her car so he could track her in her lies, and (again, so he says, but this is way over the top for me to believe) claims he purchased a device from a local spy shop with which he could, um, scan her panties, if you know what I mean and I think you do. They scanned positive.

So, he kicks her out. She spends one night with her dance partner/boyfriend and comes back for a "meeting" to discuss a separation. (Let me mention that her husband is very generous, buys her jewelery, clothing, makeup, pays her cell phone bills, paying off her $30,000 student loans, gets her the best of everything. Dance partner lives in a one bed room apt and barely scrapes by.) End result of this meeting...he took her back!

She has him convinced that it was all the dance partner's fault. "She's not evil, he took advantage of her vulnerability."

Her practice partner/new love interest dude sat and waited for her to return from her "separation meeting" from Friday afternoon until Saturday evening whereupon he received a 2 minute phone call telling him she's going back to her husband, sorry about your luck.

Now, granted, practice partner dude is an idiot with no morals, but his life has changed forever because of this. The other two sickos go on with their sick agendas, this guy is finished in the dance world, branded as untrustworthy and the bad guy. He's lost many of his friends (including me, from the moment they pulled me in as an accessory) She's just the poor little girl, victimized by the big bad man.

Man, there's so much more to the story; she believes she is the best dancer in our part of the world (superb is the word she used). She thought everybody attended the ballroom dance just to watch her. Seriously, she did.

The dance community is pretty small, she started commenting that all the men just wanted to get their hands on her because she's so hot, they all just want to bed her, etc. And, she wished all the "old men" would just leave her alone. Now, in the ballroom world, 99% of the "old men" are perfect gentlemen and do not ever warrant such disrespect.

She put everybody down, particularly any other female who engendered a positive comment from a male. (Yep, she's the one who told me she hopes she can look as good as me when she gets to be my age).

Anyway, that's kind of snapshot of this woman and her husband. Diagnoses, please?

Whew. That felt kind of good to get that all out. [big Grin]

[ 06-01-2008, 05:17 PM: Message edited by: DraftHorse ]

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She's a sociopath--narcissist.

Rules do not apply to her. Only to others. There are no consequences for her actions.

Manipulative.

And hubby? Codependent. Poor guy probably sees it all for what it is but is convinced she can change. That if HE just does better, tries harder, and gives her another chance, she will change.

Check it out.

http://www.youmeworks.com/sociopaths.html

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quote:

Originally posted by BuddyRooShmancyNShy:

She's a sociopath--narcissist.

Rules do not apply to her. Only to others. There are no consequences for her actions.

Manipulative.

And hubby? Codependent. Poor guy probably sees it all for what it is but is convinced she can change. That if HE just does better, tries harder, and gives her another chance, she will change.

Check it out.


Bingo. That was my diagnosis too, bang on. Although, I labeled him as suffering from a dependent personality disorder as well, not just co-dependent.

Seriously, after being involved even on the periphery of this, I feel like I need to take multiple showers.

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O.M.G. I just read the entire article. I am actually feeling a little afraid.

Her husband would have had to answer yes to every single question, and then some.

I wish there was a way to anonymously hook him up with that link, but whew boy, I'm not taking any chances to get her attention.

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quote:

Originally posted by draftiemama:

Is her name Charmain?
[Razz]

[ROTFL][ROTFL][ROTFL]

Even I, who have judged Charmain harshly in the past, would not compare her to this individual.

Cactus Rose, I wish I was watching a soap, I could just turn the TV off. This woman is, unfortunately, all too real. I'm just hoping I can avoid any future interactions, and that I dodged the bullet entirely.

Read the article Broo posted; the "How to Deal With" sent chills down my spine. The part where they say therapy actually makes them worse... [Eek!]

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The thing about therapy is that the more tools you learn to handle or understand yourself (normally) the more tools you might have to help others. IF you're using your "powers" for good.

With the sociopath, they tend to take that information to more effectively manipulate others.

I have been uber blessed in life to run into three of these. I currently work with one and I'd say he's on the low end--really pretty benign but good luck trying to get him to have a sense of right/wrong or duty. Still, relatively harmless.

But I've had two scary ones in my life. My father. And the guy I was overseas with working--you know that story. Both are people that A) I will not forgive for the things they've done and B) I will do my damnedest to avoid every being around ever ever ever again.

The kicker is that these folks tend to be pretty successful, pretty likeable, and most people around them are unaffected. But the closer you are, the worse it can be. At least in my experience.

I do feel for the husband of this lady. It's amazing how twisted around your head can get when one of these types is in your inner circle.

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quote:

Originally posted by BuddyRooShmancyNShy:

The kicker is that these folks tend to be pretty successful, pretty likeable, and most people around them are unaffected. But the closer you are, the worse it can be. At least in my experience.

I do feel for the husband of this lady. It's amazing how twisted around your head can get when one of these types is in your inner circle.

Yep; this woman, on the surface, is probably likable to most people, but I just couldn't warm up to her.

I just can't wrap my head around how her husband decided to "give it one more chance". What does she have to do to make him say "I've had enough", I wonder. Kill him? Or push him to the point of killing her?

I really do wonder if he'll eventually snap; he presented a really flat affect the whole time he was relaying the atrocities she subjected him to.

No emotion, no shaky voice, no tears...just telling a story. That squicked me out, too, I must say.

Bottom line? They're both crackers, each in their own way. She's just evil, to boot.

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Here's the latest...the man she had the affair with, and treated so callously, is now writing a song for her. Meanwhile, her husband has called/texted one of my buddies (she knows the whole story too), 4 times today.

This is my buddy who has been rather kind to the two of them throughout the whole ordeal, spent time with them on Saturday when they "got back together".

This same kind woman had agreed to go biking with the husband before the two reconciled, just to keep him busy. When the sociopath found out about it, she freaked (her husband's words) and he feels that's when the talk turned to reconciliation vs. separation. So now, I figure he's using her to keep the wife off centre, feeling threatened, keep her in line.

Yikes. I told her to stay far, far away. And now I'm worried that she's in their sight line.

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All three of them need a smack in the grill.

Obvious reason abound.

I'm not a violent person but pain is a wonderful motivator.

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No way !

OK now DH.

That's enough.

Turn the channel and try Oprah instead.

[Crazy]

* * * *

The more I hear, the more I think the guy and this woman need to stay together.

Cause if they split it means they are going to booger up TWO families instead of one.

The words that come to mind are something along the lines of 'deserving each other'.

[surrender]

[ 05-27-2008, 04:45 PM: Message edited by: Cactus Rose ]

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Yes to this...

______________________________________________

"All three of them need a smack in the grill.

Obvious reason abound.

I'm not a violent person but pain is a wonderful motivator."

____________________________________________________

And also to this....

_________________________________________________

"The words that come to mind are something along the lines of 'deserving each other'."

_________________________________________________

Any my own observation? They need to be isolated from the rest of humanity before they inflict any more harm. Please God they don't ever decide to have children.

by the way, he took her shopping and bought her new panties (OK, where the heck is the vomiting graemlin) and she managed to sneak in a call to her jilted boyfriend who isn't one bit mad at her because it's "all the husband's fault, not hers at all".

Bunch of squirrels.

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I think that we should make up names for them and this can be like an online soap opera/study in psychology. It will be fun! You just post daily updates and we thank our stars that we don't personally know them. [big Grin]

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quote:

Originally posted by BuddyRooShmancyNShy:

I think that we should make up names for them and this can be like an online soap opera/study in psychology. It will be fun! You just post daily updates and we thank our stars that we don't personally know them.
[big Grin]

I am quite sure I'll be able to post daily updates; but in the meantime, here's another one for today:

She had taken her profile off facebook because (and I'm quoting the taped telephone call) she is sooo hot, men are stalking her on there. One of the men she accused of stalking her (said accusation also heard during the taped phone call) has been one of her defenders through the latest trauma. He feels she's being subjected to a "witch hunt" and he isn't comfortable with that. Hmmm, maybe somebody should tell him what she accused him of.

Anyway, I guess she's not quite as hot today, since she's back on there. She just can't live without the attention.

More tomorrow, I'm sure.

[Roll Eyes]

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LOL! OMG. That is so classic.

Funny sitting over here behind MY computer....but shoot..you have to see this gal every week, right?

Yuckapoo.

So. feel like helping me dig for that thread where you posted which dance type classes I should look for? I want to get started. [Wink]

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Oh, no worries here, I think it's funny too.

I will never have to interact with her again. If she shows up at the same dance events as we attend, she'll get the "blank stare right through you" treatment.

But then again, I'm so old I'm sure I'm not even on her radar. [big Grin]

Off the find the thread of dance advice, brb.

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Found it! And, I also discovered your reply to my offer of the DVD. Heck yeah I will send it to you. PM me your mailing address and it will be on it's way pronto.

Here's the dance advice...

Dance stuff

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Bumping so Buddyroo can see my offer...PM me with address! (I lost your address when Windows Vista ate my hard drive)

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quote:


Originally posted by draftiemama:

Is her name Charmain?
[Razz]


Hey! You talking 'bout me or that hussy in your back yard?

[Razz]

char(main)

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quote:

Originally posted by Char:

quote:

Originally posted by draftiemama:

Is her name Charmain?
[Razz]

Hey! You talking 'bout me or that hussy in your back yard?

[Razz]

char(main)

Oh i'm *SURE* she's talking about the BIRD Char...*wink wink*

[Razz]

HTTY & GBTUSA

BUMPER

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quote:


Originally posted by Bumper:

quote:

Originally posted by Char:

quote:

Originally posted by draftiemama:

Is her name Charmain?
[Razz]


Hey! You talking 'bout me or that hussy in your back yard?

[Razz]

char(main)


Oh i'm *SURE* she's talking about the BIRD Char...*wink wink*

[Razz]

HTTY & GBTUSA

BUMPER


BUMPER! I been missing you girl!

[big Grin]

char

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Update; he's renewing his passport, (Don't worry, I don't interact with them, I just got the newsfeed on facebook) We figure it's so he can take her on a nice big trip (I'm guessing Europe, but that's just my take on it).

He took her to Dominican in December, it's time for something a little more continental, don't you think?

The girl is good, you gotta hand it to her.

Hmmm, wonder if he suspects she called her lover boy from her car, on her way home from her first counseling session? She will never return for a second because (I quote) "she doesn't need counseling".

And on it goes.

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Can two sociopaths co-exist, or would that just not work for either of them?

The husband is indeed sick, I'm more inclined to think manipulative stalker type, not true sociopath.

He has managed to quite handily sever his wife's relationship with her lover, using what I suspect are embellishments of the very factual reality of the affair.

Gah. What a bunch of sick puppies.

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