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Wild Rose

Fear of Riding

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I don't know that I will, Wild Rose. I told her that I would wait until she had about 14 rides on her.

But, who knows. If she suggest it, I might.

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WOW! Wild Rose I am so glad you posted this! I havent been here in quite some time but decided to check in. I am dealing with the same thing!

I dont want to steal your thread but I am having the same issues and really want to get over it.

I am leasing out my super trusty older gelding this summer to 4hers. In turn, I am leasing a larger horse that the kids where too scared to get on because of his size. I wanted a show horse, she wanted a trusty horse so we swapped. I have really wanted to show and do things since last summer I was preggo and couldnt. Now I have the horse and havent done much with him. Hes really sweet but Im just not into him. I took him to one show and left after one class. That was showmanship. I got on and rode him (he was a booger about being saddled) and I just wasnt feeling the pleasure. I got off after about 15 mins and went home. He has a club foot and he is super uncomfortable to ride. If he was more comfortable, it might not be such a big deal. I want to ride so bad. But I really want my old guy back. What should I do? I am moving from the area and dont know if I should ask the leaser to swap back. I dont want to be sorry if I do but I really want to ride and I am just not getting anything from this horse.

I also have this other problem. I feel bad about getting the horse out and working him. Yea I know, its crazy. We only get over there once a day and thats to feed and I feel super bad getting him out when hes hungry. Is he really that hungry though?? Would it be a big deal to him if I got him out? I dont know... Why do I feel so bad about working with him? Like **** resent me for doing so?

I really dont know if I should get my old man back whom I can do anything with. No saddling issues; **** let me do it without even being tied. But he is also older and needs extras. But would it all be worth it?

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WildRose,

I think what you need is someone to be there, & offer you words of encouragement to get you started. I have not yet given up on the thought of coming up there to ride with you. Right now don't know when that might happen, I just ask that you don't give up on me. But having had some close incidents in last couple years. I'm now much more cautious than I was a few years ago. I have 2 horses I'm comfortable riding, but they are 22 & 26, oh how I wish they were 12 & 16. Do hope you canm raide your level of confidence. Best Wishes. PD

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MiHorseGirl, I don't know if you should try to swap back. If I were you, I would try, but that would be kind of mean to the person who is leasing him.

Otherwise, I know what you mean about feeling bad about working with the new horse. I get those feelings, too, and I think that's just ridiculous. I feel like, "Oh, Rosie doesn't want to be ridden, and I shouldn't bug her!" How silly. I'm the leader and I'll ride when I want. It's an excuse I make up for feeling too nervous to ride. [Embarrassed]

But then again, riding at feeding time is not so good. The horse wants to eat, and now he has to work. That makes it a good time for the horse to be resentful and cause trouble.

PD, I haven't given up on you coming here. That would be so great! I do need someone to just walk along with me, maybe. It's a long trip for you, though.

Becaco, how did things go?

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.......I can't say as I know what your "open door" is WR.

It's more a comment that you need to stop beating yourself against the window.

[Wink]

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Oh, Ok, Cactus. Darn...I was hoping you had the solution! [Razz]

Well, the sun is out, but it's getting humid fast. Thunderstorms are moving in for later. Guess I should go out there and do SOMETHING with her.

[ 06-14-2008, 11:44 AM: Message edited by: Wild Rose ]

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Wild Rose, I went to see Gin yesterday. Gin wasn't standing perfectly still to be saddled, D. is working on that. But, she did stand perfectly still to be mounted.

Gin has a problem with wanting to get out of the walk and trot. I believe that is because the first trainer would trot or lope her first, THEN walk. I only noticed that she wanted to break gait a couple of times yesterday. From what I could see she did real good. D. said for not being ridden in such a long time, 3 years, she is doing great.

And no I didn't ride her.

What did you do with Rosie?

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Sounds like Gin is doing pretty good, Becaco! Hope you ride soon. Having someone right there to coach you will be great!

And, I'm happy to say, I did ride. Not much, but I was on her back, and she was moving forward...guess that constitutes a ride, huh?

I went out to the barn not with the intention of riding. I had to bring my wood shavings in there, feed Chief and put his muzzle on him. I ended up cleaning the barn, too. Then, after much delay and self convincing, I saddled up Rosie. After all, she was hanging around getting in my way, so that's what she gets! [Eek!]

I got on right outside the barn...no round pen warm up. My intention was to just sit on her, and try to evaluate what really gets me so nervous, and to try and control it. Well, no luck. I wasn't nervous.

So, off we went. We just rode around a little bit. Then I decided I would ride around the Maple tree that's not too far away. We were going along just fine, at a strong walk, and she spooked! It happened so fast, I didn't have time to get scared. I got her settled, which wasn't hard. She settles from small spooks really well. Then we went back to the barn. And that was it.

Thinking about the spook later makes me nervous. So, now, how to convince myself that it wasn't bad at all. I didn't panic, Rosie calmed down, I survived.

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Ditto to Becaco [Not Worthy]

I know how you feel WR, the first year I got Chico he pulled a couple of stunts on other people. Made me scared to death to ride him every time. I would literally psyche myself out on the way out to the barn. I would be shaking while saddling him up!

Until I realized......he NEVER did anything stupid with me. It took me a good two or three years to figure it out, but we have a great trust in each other now. Does he spook? Like the dickens I tell ya! But I know all he's going to do is jump sideways and wait for me to tell him he's fine. [Wink]

I swear WR when it happens, and it will happen....it's a lovely feeling. Just have faith in yourself and Rosie and take as many baby steps as you need. But if you can, take them daily.

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Becaco, yes, I agree. I re-read that phrase many times after it appeared in type. Each time I read it, I felt less worried about it! [big Grin]

Theo, I can't wait for that "lovely feeling"! I actually do think I'm afraid of the fear. Afraid of that stomach twisting, adrenalin rush. I think I dwell on it too much, thinking it's always going to be there.

Yes, I can handle spooks and jumping sideways. Sometimes all Rosie does is jerk. When it happens it's not bad, it's the wondering if it will happen that's so unnerving.

I didn't ever worry about Chief spooking, and he did, too. HUGE sideways broad jumps sometimes. But I didn't live in fear that he would do it. When he did it, he did it. It was over, and on we went.

I'll have to just keep at it.

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Just Saturday, that I posted about. Nothing yesterday. We went visiting for Father's day.

I'm off work today, but it's pretty icky out. Windy, and drizzle. I have the farrier coming later today, too.

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Wild Rose, I can sympathize with you....being afraid seems to take on a life of its own, doesn't it? I got back to riding as a 40 year old, after 25 years away from it. Started out fearless, then had several incidents with the horse I'd adopted (without asking enough questions). She bucked me off in a field, broke my arm, left me to walk home. I wasn't too afraid. She bucked me off a couple more times in the arena...I was a little more afraid, but kept going. Then she bolted on a trail ride, was totally out of control, and I bailed out..and walked home again. After that, I was afraid. But I was trapped, had an old grouchy mare that no one wanted, and I wasn't yet willing to put her down. So I began with just walking, in the arena. We walked in circles, walked in patterns, forward, backward, sideways...a little longer each day, for four weeks. Then we trotted. Same thing, lots of trotting activities, a little more time at the trot each ride, for four more weeks. Then finally, the canter. I remained "constructively nervous" about her, but managed to return to riding.

I guess the thing that was most useful to me was discovering that I couldn't wait for the fear to go away before riding. I knew it would be there, I had to find something easy to do, something where my level of fear was bearable. Do that, then move on. You can get past your fear, but sometimes you have to take it along with you for a while.

By all means, ask for help. I don't think your horse friends will call you a whuss for asking. Watch someone else ride your horse, so you can observe how she does. Visit someone else and ride their horse. I was lucky enough to be able to borrow horses from friends and get back some of the joy of riding.

(In the interests of full disclosure, I have to say I no longer ride that mare. I retired her and bought another horse that I feel more comfortable on... but the fear is still there sometimes)

And good luck with all of it...I'm sure you'll get there!

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WR, I remember going through all of this too. Remember that thread we had a few years back? Chicken something? LOL. I wish I was there and could go riding with you. It really helps to have a friend with you.

I have been riding Charmer for a couple of years now with no problems.

My new "project" is making me just as nervous though. I know it is the "new horse nerves" even though he is not new. We've had him about 4 years.

I think until I have been there and done that on a horse than I am nervous. My old mare Spyce does not bother me in the least and she is no angel. Charmer doesn't bother me or make me nervous anymore at all. She is still a good girl. Very calm and quiet.

My gelding is dead broke, loves me, but I am still nervous. I've been trying to talk myself into going out there and ride for an hour and a half now. Our thunderstorm passed about 45 minutes ago.

I'm going now... [big Grin]

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Charmergirl, yes I do remember that thread. Isn't it sad that all this is still going on. My problem is I let my excuses win and just haven't followed through. I haven't ridden enough. Even enough small rides would have helped before now! [bang Head]

Glad to hear you're doing better. Yes, "new horse" nerves. That's what I have....for years now!

BigBayGirl, boy, you really kept at it! I need to follow that example. If that had been me, I don't know if I would have kept trying as hard. I'm going to continue the small rides. I do feel better about riding already. That last ride was good, even with the little spook.

Thanks, Medicine Woman! [big Grin]

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Im late in Wild Rose but Im another who has the same hitch!

I use to jillero, run brumbys, ride cutting horses in Texas etc. Then I had my son and I have also spent to much time doing ground work.

I have lost my nerve. Put me on a hot but well trained horse and Im fine. Put me on a green unsure horse and I dont even want to get on. Im having the same trouble with Indy now. He is quiet but he is green and can panic on the very odd occation. Acts like he is going to hump up. Shouldnt worry me one bit, I know I can ride it but for some reason I dont even want to try.

I ride him in his paddock no trouble but as for outside, forget it. He worries me. I sent Cherri Wolf a PM (hope she is reading this, lol!)asking for advice. I dont want to let it beat me and it is driving me nuts.

I do live in the middle of no where and I think I use that as a reason to stop me. 10 years ago I would have ridden him and not blinked. Annoys me soooooo much!

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charliegirl, wow, I never knew you had nervousness problems, too! I pictured you as ready for anything. [big Grin]

I don't want this to beat me, either. And I don't want to give up on Rosie. She doesn't have the problem. I do. I know I can do this, I just need to keep at it.

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quote:

Originally posted by Wild Rose:

I don't want this to beat me, either. And I don't want to give up on Rosie. She doesn't have the problem. I do. I know I can do this, I just need to keep at it.

You can do it! I know you can.

That is exactly how I used to feel about Charmer and feel sometimes about Bud.

I got off the computer this afternoon after giving myself a pep talk. I went out, caught him. Tied him to the trailer and brushed him and picked his feet. I put fly spray on him, a bridle and a pad. I walked him over to a bucket and swung a leg over.

He was nice enough to stand still while I hauled my arse up on him. [Embarrassed] I stood for a minute and then asked him to walk off. We walked over to where the girls were standing by the fence. I let him stand there for a minute and then turned him around. He would walk about 20 steps from the girls and stop. I would let him and then turn him back to the fence and walk back to it. We did this about 5 times and I swung off.

I'm happier than anything for those little baby steps. [Cool] Maybe next time I'll put a saddle on and push him a little farther away from the girls.

I just kept pushing myself one step at a time. I always had a way out if I panicked but I never did.

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WR I am still having fear issues. The fear on the gound is getting better though. I have started doing ground work with Kelly and she is comming along pretty good. I am learning not to back down to her and she is still trying to push my buttons. [big Grin] She is very smart and tests ya to see just what she can get away with. I still haven't ridden her, but one day I will.

Now, to show ya I have really lost my mind. I am buying a stallion and have ridden him. He is lazy and doesn't care about much that is going on. Since he is this good as a stallion I hope he will be even better as a gelding. Well I got on and was led around, but still. He is an awsome boy and I am supposed to go ride him Wed.

My goal right now is to be ready for a trail ride in Nov. He will probably be the horse I ride for the trail ride.

I am still petrified, but I'm still plugging away at it. We will get there one ride at a time [smile]

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It's nice to know I'm in good company with this, anyway. It will be better company when we ALL over come this stuff.

Charmer, when you turn turn Bud back, do it before he stops. When you do it after he stops, he might think his stopping is what got him what he wanted. ...like I know anything! [Embarrassed]

millie, sounds like that stallion will make a great gelding! I hope you DO go on that trail ride. Every summer I've said this is the year I'm taking Rosie on the trail. Well, not yet. I think that kind of thinking is part of my problem, too. I was not thinking in baby steps, and focusing on the goal too much. That makes the goal too much to get too.

Well, I am off work again today. Man, I won't save up enough money for hay THIS way! [bang Head] But, it's nice to have the days off now before the weather gets too hot here.

I think I'll saddle up Miss Rosiebuddy, and take her around that same Maple tree again. I can do that. I want to see if she'll spook in that same spot. It might have been her tactic to get to quit.

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Yes, I will, Becaco. In fact, if I have the nerve, I'll go around again even is she does spook.

I went out there to put Chief's muzzle on. I thought I might ride, but it's really "funny windy" today. The wind isn't really strong, but it's gusty and blowing in all directions.

My self preservation instinct (which is way too strong, me thinks) tells me this might not be good day to try. I feel like I'm just making another excuse, though. Dang it.

It IS OK to listen to that little voice, though, right?

See, this is the part I hate, too. I feel like I'm making an excuse again. Shoot. [bang Head]

ETA: Maybe I'll saddle her up later this afternoon, around 6. The wind usually dies down by then. If I don't ride, I can just do a little ground work, too, I suppose. For that matter, I could do ground work now. I could get Rosie listening to me, instead of the wind.

Ok, I'm thinking out loud here, and rambling...

[ 06-17-2008, 12:49 PM: Message edited by: Wild Rose ]

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Wild Rose I know fear.. i know it emensly well.

I know it's feel, I know it's smell and I know it's taste.

Anticipated fear was my worst nightmare.

I let "it" play terrible head games with me.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd be the person to mentally torment myself, but I was.

Fear is a healthy emotion and a necessity of life.

We've been given the gift of fear to help keep us safe.

But, when we let that fear interfere in our lives and keep us from enjoying the things we are passionate about that's when it's time to tighten the reins and control the fear.

No one can control fear, but we can control how we respond to it.

This is in no means about me.. this is about YOU, but I am going to use myself as an example from time to time.

Here's a good example of the ugly place I was in with my riding.

I have a 12 yr old QH mare that seems dead broke one minute and the next she's a goofy filly [ROTFL]

There was a time not so long away that if my mare turned her head to look off in the distance I'd high tail it outta that saddle fast.

I knew she was "going to spook!"

No she wasn't.. she was only looking at something, but I had myself so scared and worked up I thought she was.

My fear started when we bought a green Paint.

Green rider and green horse made a pretty ugly black and blue bruised body.. mine [Duh]

I took a couple falls and the last one I pile drived my head into the ground and that ignitated a horrid blood vomitting fear of riding.

I quickly became the queen of groundwork because I was too afraid to ride.

Day after day I'd come on hosscity and try to find the secret to over coming my fear of riding.

I'd read post after post and hand on ever word as I was so desperate to find "confidence".

I did find a book that did help me.

The book about strageties in coping with fear.

-

You have got to move closer to your fear and stay longer in it to conquer it.. it's true!

Next I met this gal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oc4IMcfUyzQ

Her name is Wylene Wilson.

She was/is the confident trainer I needed to help me "ride and guide stride for stride"

You ask Mudder.. she knows her [big Grin]

I've done more filming of Wylene than I've had lessons from her, but just watching her ride and listening to her explain what she's doing and why has boosted my confidence emensley.

Get yourself hooked up with a rider that you trust.

Have them ride Rosie.

Watching another person ride my horse made me see how she wasn't the handful I thought she was.

I realized something extrememly important

"I MOVEMENT ALWAYS FEELS BIGGER THAN IT IS"

What I thought were bucks were merely interesting kick outs [ROTFL]

Confidence breeds confidence and PRACTICE increases confidence.

I'm not hear to do any preaching to you and I'm certainly no expert on riding.

I'm merely your normal middle aged woman who loves to ride her horse.

I've been to the gates of **** with my fear and I have dug my nails for one **** of a wild ride and I will say I am in a much more better place in my head with my riding.

And, if I can over come anxiety with riding ANYBODY can [Huggy]

20 mph is your friend.. anything over that is da enemy [Crazy]

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quote:

Originally posted by Wild Rose:

Charmer, when you turn turn Bud back, do it before he stops. When you do it after he stops, he might think his stopping is what got him what he wanted. ...like I know anything!
[Embarrassed]


That makes a lot of sense. I will definately remember that next time.

The truth was I was more than a little nervous. I didn't want to push him and really get myself scared.

I did have him leave standing near them each time, so that was a good thing right? [Embarrassed]

I will be getting on him again tomorrow. This time he will have a saddle on. I will feel a little better not having to worry about losing my balance if he moves fast.

I hope you got to ride this evening and you made it 2 times around the maple tree. [smile]

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necey, I'll have to look at that video tomorrow. It takes really long for videos to load on my slow dial up...sometimes an hour!

But thanks, for the words. Yes, fear does play terrible head games. Where can I get that book you mentioned? I do know what you mean about your horse looking off at something and expecting a spook, too!

Charmer, no, I didn't ride. It just got windier as the day went on. Then later, I mowed the lawn.

As far as Bud, you could make him work next to the other horses, and let him rest when he's away from them. That works, too. I know, easier said.

Oh well, tomorrow is another day. I HAVE to work tomorrow, though.

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necey, I watched that video, finally. Yes, she's good, in fact, she's amazing!

She's got long legs, is young, talented, and did nothing more than reinforce the fact that I'm short, old, and not so talented anymore.

I would have been off that horse on the first jump. Either dumped off or got off.

It was entertaining, though. It didn't do a thing for my fear. It only reinforced the fact that I am in a totally different league.

ETA: But thanks for the words of encouragement. [big Grin] Also, what did you mean by "move closer to your fear and stay in it a bit longer"?

[ 06-18-2008, 04:40 PM: Message edited by: Wild Rose ]

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I just came in from riding again. I only rode around in the pasture right by the yard. I didn't go around the Maple tree, though. A regression, here, I'm afraid.

Rosie was good. I had to keep from imagining that she was going to spook, buck, and dump me off though! Sheesh!

Rosie is just a little sore when walking on the rocks by the barn. She was trimmed last Monday. I don't think it's anything serious, though. But, I wanted to stay in the grass and soft ground, so I didn't do any round pen work. I just circled her a few times so I could get the cinch tightened, then got on.

I still am nervous while on her. But it's not severe when I stay close to the barn. I guess I will just have to keep doing that, until I want to out more. I'll have to go out farther a little at a time.

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