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quarterflash

... and speaking of promiscuity?

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My young girlfriends have recently decided to include me in some of their prowls to the hot, hip~hop bars.

Can someone tell me exactly when and how it came about that young women now dance ON each other? Hip grinding and soul kissing is just normal behavior for girls having fun on the dance floor.

A far cry from being puritan or prudish ... I'd just like to know if Madonna and Brittany are responsible for this? MTV? What?

[smiley Wavey]

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It's disgusting.

I'm in a big catty fight right now over the same kind of deal.

A bunch of girls in my sorority seem to think a good thing to do for a bonding experience is to go take a poll dancing/striptease class.

I'm not against it as something fun - it would be funny to do with some close girlfriends - but they seriously see nothing wrong with going out and representing 220,000 women by dancing provocatively.

[Confused] If we're not allowed to dance on stages or poles in the club, why would we be allowed to use our budget to go learn how?

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It makes me laugh. It's just like they want guys to notice them, so they try to attract attention that way. It really is pretty disgusting though.

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Ah come on QF. You and me girl, out on the dance floor. [Wink] Lets give em something to talk about. Show em how it's done. [ROTFL][ROTFL][Crazy]

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quote:

Originally posted by Mudder:

Ah come on QF. You and me girl, out on the dance floor.
[Wink]
Lets give em something to talk about. Show em how it's done.
[ROTFL][ROTFL][Crazy]

[Eek!][Eek!][Eek!]

Now that I want to watch.LOL

Honestly it evolved because gals like to dance.And guys want to be wall flowers.

So instead of sitting at the table all night.The gal jumped up and danced. Then they got a little carried away. [Confused]

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I have been trying to figure this out myself.

We witness this stuff on TV, and it is interesting to listen to the feedback of men here in Europe. I wonder how different they really are from the way American men feel?

They see a woman with a low cut shirt and they absolutely assume it is to pick up on men. It is to get their attention, and is a way of letting them know she is horny and available. They see women twisting around on a pole, or bumping and grinding on the dancefloor, that's an even stronger way of saying- "I want sex and don't even feel picky about who it is with at this point!"

Kissing another girl on front of a bunch of heterosexual people is another way of trying to seduce a man- because we all know that turns men on and if they were gay they wouldn't be making a show out of it in front of men.

A fighter pilot friend of ours that did training in the US for a while said they had some real troubles understanding the females. Women would bump and grind against them and they wouldn't be able to grasp why a woman would do this if she wasn't clearly inviting the guy for sex- now.

They couldn't understand why forty year old women walk around dressing sexy (trashy, was the equivalent of what they called it). A woman of that age is so sexy just by her self confidence and experience, she shouldn't have to lower herself to showing cleavage like a fourteen year old a bit overwhelmed by her new power to attract men!

As usual, seeing things through their eyes made a contrast for me too- I started to wonder- why do we think it is so important to look sexy? Most of us women would say we do these things for ourselves, to feel sexy. But there is something strange about this. Even if alone just knowing that IF there was someone else in the room, they would be turned on by us is what is pleasant.

I listen to American music and some of it will speak of women pole dancing- "she wants it, I wanna give it to her...", some must read that the same way as the European men. And yet, we expect the men to restrain themselves. We expect them to not make a move unless we do it first, or to back off the moment "no" is spoken, for risk of going to jail for rape. The fun is in the teasing.

But it seems like it backfires in a way, because the american men seem so much less sensitive as a result. They seem so numbed by seeing extreme sexiness everywhere, that it probably takes a lot more than a normally built woman walking through the room with grace and confidence to turn them on!

I don't know. I am trying to figure out how I feel about these cultural differences and where I stand. AS a typical american woman, I've always considered it important to seduce my man with effort, even (especially) after years of marriage. But he has always expressed that some of my efforts seem in bad taste to him and a turn off- a lacy teddy with garter straps and stockings is yuck. Walking around the room in a tight tee shirt and panties is irresistable. Dancing a bit for him the bedroom is a turn on- doing it in front of a room of strangers is embarrassing- it shows total lack of self esttem and confidence. For him, he says, if a woman does that, it is assumed that she needs to because she has no other value to hold on to.

I wonder if american get similar attitudes, and if the women are aware that they are giving such a negative opinion of who they are?

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At clubs its a fight for attention. You dont go to a club make a long commited relationship. You go to have a good time and dance. Most guys dont want to dance with the girl all covered up sitting on the sidelines. Because it is a contest for the men as well. The men want to be seen with the hottest thing on the floor and their male friends are not going to be impressed with dancing a foot away from the girl who is all covered up.

The hotter the guy the hotter the girl has to be to get the attention. The most beautiful girl will be looked past if she is in long pants and a long sleeve shirt. Right wrong or other wise that is how it is.

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quote:

Originally posted by newmare06:

At clubs its a fight for attention. You dont go to a club make a long commited relationship. You go to have a good time and dance. Most guys dont want to dance with the girl all covered up sitting on the sidelines. Because it is a contest for the men as well. The men want to be seen with the hottest thing on the floor and their male friends are not going to be impressed with dancing a foot away from the girl who is all covered up.

The hotter the guy the hotter the girl has to be to get the attention. The most beautiful girl will be looked past if she is in long pants and a long sleeve shirt. Right wrong or other wise that is how it is.

So do these games include actually having sex by the end of the night? Cause for a European man, that would be assumed to be guaranteed by such behavior.

Or does it stay completely on a superificial level of appearences?

(I actually don't know, this has become a fashion after I left the states)

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quote:

Originally posted by Mudder:

Ah come on QF. You and me girl, out on the dance floor.
[Wink]
Lets give em something to talk about. Show em how it's done.
[ROTFL][ROTFL][Crazy]

HEY! stay 'way from my WOMAN! I'll take a spoon to you!

[Mad]

[ROTFL]

OMG...me, flash, mudder and tuck...*giggle*...can you just SEE us dancin' together to the bump and grind???

HTTY & GBTUSA

BUMPER

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*shrug* I say it's all in good fun. Would you have a problem if it were a girl "grinding" with or kissing a guy? It doesn't always have to do with promiscuity. A girl might just like the attnetion she draws to herself. The night doesn't always have to end in the bedroom. In my opinion and experience, it's just girls wanting to let loose and have a good time. As long as everyone involved is comfortable with the situation, who cares?

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*shrug*

I don't always "get it" when I go out- I do see stuff that just seems slutty.

But on the other hand- I have been out in clubs, and have danced provacatively with other women, and it was mostly about getting some space around me on the dance floor. At the time, guys would back up to watch. Voila! Instant space!

I don't really like "grind" dancing though, it just seems like simulated sex, and I like my personal space bubble. Nothing makes me crazier than having my bubble invaded by a stranger. LOL

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Bump, I'll try not to grind your fragile bones too hard ayy. [ROTFL][ROTFL] Wouldn't wanna break anything.

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Bluesma-my mother grew up for a while in France and she has taught me the same way your husband was taught-there is nothing sexier than a woman who is comfortable in her own skin, and has no need to prove it.

I think it has to do with proving to THEMSELVES they are beautiful. I have a friend who would get depressed if she didn't have guys looking at her all the time. She felt if they didn't look, she wasn't beautiful. That to me is a tragedy.

A woman should knows she's beautiful. She shouldn't have to prove it to anyone.

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quote:

Originally posted by elfinbien:

Bluesma-my mother grew up for a while in France and she has taught me the same way your husband was taught-there is nothing sexier than a woman who is comfortable in her own skin, and has no need to prove it.

I think it has to do with proving to THEMSELVES they are beautiful. I have a friend who would get depressed if she didn't have guys looking at her all the time. She felt if they didn't look, she wasn't beautiful. That to me is a tragedy.

A woman should knows she's beautiful. She shouldn't have to prove it to anyone.

[smile]

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They're out having fun, most likely drinking and we all know that drinking removes typical everyday inhibitions. They aren't hurting anyone else.

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quote:

Originally posted by Bluesma:

quote:

Originally posted by newmare06:

At clubs its a fight for attention. You dont go to a club make a long commited relationship. You go to have a good time and dance. Most guys dont want to dance with the girl all covered up sitting on the sidelines. Because it is a contest for the men as well. The men want to be seen with the hottest thing on the floor and their male friends are not going to be impressed with dancing a foot away from the girl who is all covered up.

The hotter the guy the hotter the girl has to be to get the attention. The most beautiful girl will be looked past if she is in long pants and a long sleeve shirt. Right wrong or other wise that is how it is.

So do these games include actually having sex by the end of the night? Cause for a European man, that would be assumed to be guaranteed by such behavior.

Or does it stay completely on a superificial level of appearences?

(I actually don't know, this has become a fashion after I left the states)

Depends on the person. Does it gauarentee it? Definately NOT, but some will.

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Oh please.

Who said the little girls were behaving badly?

No blood, no foul. That's the rule.

See? I think it takes a little age for we women to realize just how beautiful (and as a result, HOT!) we are, and why.

I happen to LOVE that Bump and Mudder are slingin' spoons over me. [Cool]

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This is why I don't go to clubs. . . I hate being looked at like a piece of meat and I will back hand you if you touch me!! [Mad] I have done the club scene and I did not like these random guys coming all up on me(and I wasn't dressed in barely nothing! I had clothes on!!) and they had a wet t-shirt contest which was a race to take the wet shirt off first [Roll Eyes]

No thanks. . . Take me to a nice restaurant and have some intelligent conversation!!

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I do it because I don't want some random ugly guy coming up behind me and grabbing my butt. I also don't want to dance alone so I dance with my girlfriends. I'm also a horrible horrible dancer so being with a friend makes me feel secure.

You guys make me feel like such a ***** cause I do nearly everything you're saying is near prostitution. I enjoy having a good time and I don't think you should judge people like that. If you don't want to go out and party fine. I'm sure you have a good time doing something else, but with all these topics about practically the same thing, you're making me feel a little crappy when you shouldn't. These topics are for debating not for judging people and making them feel like scum.

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OMG.

I am SUCH a crabby old fashioned close minded fuddy duddy [Duh]

* * * *

To me - that sort of behaviour - it's just more of the same from today's culture.

Me Me Me

Look at ME.

And with the "shock me" envelope constantly being pushed, who knows where it's all going to end up.

Hopefully not in a handbasket.

-

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Another food for thought...while I don't go out to clubs I do have several female friends who do. They dance with each so NOT to dance with guys and lead them on to think they're going to score that night. It's protection for them to go in groups and have fun with each other rather than dancing with strange men constantly.

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I think men shouldn't expect anything. Actually I think NO ONE should expect anything from it. I don't anymore, but my friends and I used to go out and have a good time back the day. I liked to dance, I liked to hang with my friends, and I liked to have a good time. But we always came together, and left together. You have to know theres a very slim chance of meeting a potential signifigant other in an environment like that.

Its all about self control and having a certain level of respect for yourself and others.

~stars

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There IS a difference between two women dancing together and two women grinding and soul kissing on the dance floor. Especially the soul kissing.

Seems like people on this debate are only focusing on women who dance together. I think that is completely acceptable. When the women take it further and imitate sexual activities it turns into a whole 'nother thing.

Being Bi or Lesbian is kind of "in style" right now. It's all the rage in my home town and even my little town here in Colorado can get pretty interesting some nights. I know 99% of these girls aren't really INTERESTED in other women, they are just experimenting and it makes them feel sexy. They also seem to feel it's "safer" than a similar activity with a man.

Dancing with a man like that pretty much guarantees you are either going to have to put out... make him mad when you don't.

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quote:

Originally posted by Tiger_Lily123:

*cough* So I'm a prude. What exactly IS soul kissing?

Think of the kiss a bride and groom do right after they say "I do"... picture it lasting 1 or two full minutes... and add more tongue.

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I remember when I was in high school, I'm not too old, It was only about 10 years ago. But I agree that being gay or bi was seemingly the popular thing to do. Never understood it. not my cup of tea. But whatever they want to do. But as I got a big older, and alcohol got involved, it was a whole nutha' cup o tea.

I think alcohol invites a lot of people to become a bit freer. [Wink]

~stars

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quote:

Originally posted by Tiger_Lily123:

Ah, I see. That I've always heard called french kissing
[Razz]

Yeah... It's the same thing. But Soul kissing is just a way to describe it... More intense... like the kind of kissing (with feeling) that you would do when being intimate with your SO. Serious French Kissing.

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