Sign in to follow this  
quarterflash

'spin' Victims

Recommended Posts

Perception IS reality ... and nothing has brought that concept home for me better than the recent election season. In a group of reasonably like~minded, intelligent individuals .... PASSIONATE difference of opinion decorated our debate board, in many cases promoting viewpoints that were dramatically different and derived from the SAME press release, news item OR paid political commercial.

Spin. Take a fact ... isolate certain points .... explain and interpret those points to fit the 'needs' of a campaign.

In my low level life, I've been a victim of spin on numerous occasions. Had a person or group draw out ONE point, one random act; a joke, perhaps ..... elaborate on it especially if it plays on a common fear or a percieved moral point and suddenly a reputation is smeared or a purpose is sullied.

Has it happened to you?

If so .... how did you react?

AND what did you take away from the experience?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'll reply to my own topic ... as it's just sad to watch a topic die.

The last time I ran for 'office' in a barrel racing organization ... I had seen a women's club be 'dumbed down' beyond all recognition.

I ran on a platform of returning the club to it's former status ... where competition was strong and the emphasis was on striving for excellence instead of offering 4 class divisions for the youth and 2 class divisions for the novice, making adding 'our' point classes to any given barrel race being produced cumbersome and nearly impossible.

Those who LOVED the fact that the 100 woman membership had dwindled to 14 (cause it meant EVERYBODY got a Championship and prizes) seized on the fact that I wanted to return to emphasizing open competition and spun it to mean that I wanted to ELIMINATE the youth program ... as opposed to whittle it down to one class, which was the reality.

It was a close and filthy race ... I lost.

I took away from it that the people who were profiting from the status quo were able to make me look awful by playing on the fears of the uninitiated. I had people who did not know me (and had NO clue that I was the spearhead of 'they') argue passionately that they had it on the BEST of authority that I wanted to ditch the youth program.

I look carefully before forming a second hand opinion ... and never wholly believe anything as a result.

Instinct does play a big part in any decision of mine. We have more of that left in us that we care to admit ... especially those of us who subscribe to science and are intrinsically analytical.

Edited by quarterflash

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Living it right now.

Have been through it before.

Interestingly though, it has always worked out.

I am the type who when accused of something, will chug through my mind trying to think of how I may have given someone reason to say such things. I will apologize profusely even when I don't have a CLUE what I could've said/done that could've been perceived in a bad way. I will take responsibility for crap that isn't MY crap.

And then...when the dust settles and the truth comes to light...when everyone grows a conscience? I get cleared.

But it's usually a long couple of days or weeks of me feeling physically ill, wondering what will happen, what I could've done, etc etc.

Luckily, this time? There's enough history with the same group of people that I have a pretty good feeling how it's all going to play out. And knowing...really KNOWING that I didn't do or say any of the stuff? It's not my problem.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know what you mean buddy roo! I am one of those who sits there racking her brain about what I could have done to make someone upset... then figure I must have since they are mad at me... I can be such a push over!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Like attracts like.

The human brain will ALWAYS be drawn to try and twist words and concepts to prove that it's previous perceptual experience is still "truth" - some people being worse for it than others.

......crap........that made sense in my head anyway.

* * * * * *

Taking the concept down a different road - when I had the high point field trial dog in western Canada (and ultimately #2 in Canada) I won first place in a couple of events because somehow or another the pre-existing perception by the judges that I had an exceptional multi award winning dog overrode the fact that he had had a couple of REALLY bad days where he couldn't find his arse with both paws !

So what's up with that?

You would think that by LOOKING at something "ugly" - it would be easily identifiable.

It certainly was by the other competitors who (kiddingly) accused me of slipping a twenty or two into the judge's pocket.

* * * * *

I think in the case of an opinionated, involved, ready to take the bull by the horns person........the kind of person that therefore might unafraidedly lock horns with others (been involved with clubs before and "those others" - the nay-sayers - are usually the ones that love to sit back and critique while never lifting a finger to help or try to improve things) well the negative thinkers and poop disturbers will ALWAYS try and latch onto something someone says so they can twist it into something negative to get people riled up.

And SOME people just LOVE trash talking confident leaders - mostly I believe - to try and see if they can make them appear to be a fool.

I hate to say it - but females seem to be worse with that sort of thing.............

CR

Edited by Cactus Rose

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, the women around here aren't usually half as bad as the men.

In my "real" life, I have NEVER and I mean NEVER dealt with this kind of crap. It's always been work related.

I am so SICK of it that I could just SCREAM.

But instead, I'm drinking coffee with baileys and letting it all work out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think that perception varies from one person to the next, that is the way humans are.

Everything has a negative and positive side to it and one can choose to see either angle.

Sometimes a few people will see something the same way, if they have the same background, values, belief system, or goals.

And they will join together in proclaiming it THE TRUE perception.

That is impressive and powerful, but it doesn't make it so.

I think it is actually rather rare that people put a spin on something on purpose- they usually really see things as they are proclaiming, through their blinders.... or sometimes they may have a slight awareness of the other possible perceptions, but reject them so fast they barely are conscious of it.

I am so often misunderstood here in France and on these boards, that if I was going to let myself get upset about it and decide they did it on purpose I'd go crazy. It seems like everyone twists my words around, gets my motivations and thought and ideas all backasswards. Whatever.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First of all, even if you only owned one pair of pants, your life is not so low level......not with a head like that on your shoulders! [bat Eyelashes]...an intelligent, well thought out, all observing, open minded and always growing thought processes. I have a feeling that you will certainly be a wise old Grandmother some day!

We certainly do come from different walks of life, different experiences, different conclusions, different priorities etc. It surely is what makes life so colorful! Considering this, it sure makes me think that Obama is one heck of a stallion to manage to get the herd together. If you asked everyone that voted for him, their reasons, the answers would be so varied....why, and what it meant to them.

Everyone has different experiences in life and different take home messages from it. Life should flow forward thru all these doors of experiences. If a hard decision is made about going thru one of these doorways, the door slams shut and the path changes from "straight" and slows down a little bit. (Some doors should be slammed shut though on some things, cause its definetely a door that you don't want to go through again.)

Even a horse can slam a door. (this would be an extreme example caused by injury, creating cynasism, fear etc.) Say, a horse that has been abused by a person with a cowboy hat on. His decision and slammed door on the issue and experience is continuing to drag at his flow through life. In order to move forward, one must backtrack to that slammed door, understand it, crack it open, re-think it and restore the flow.

Whether you are trying to fix it, or just trying to understand it, you must listen carefully to understand where each individual is coming from to truly know "why".

That's where I start....listening for understanding. The reasons for other peoples' convictions are very valid to them indeed and should be respected always. By speaking about the issue, we have gone back to that slammed door to re-visit it...to show that slammed door in front of them and why they have slammed it shut. I get them there by asking questions. I can't tell them to "open that door", only they can and must arrive at it by themselves. The questions help them arrive....see the cause and effect of that slammed door, understand it and see ways to crack it open themselves. Lightness of heart always ensues and flow is restored. [bat Eyelashes] I am simply a precursor and could be nothing else but. Sometimes, just re-visiting that door and not fixing it enough to open it will start the healing on the matter. Pause for thought is very powerful indeed.

Take for example, a miserable old man that is set in his ways. I see a lot of slammed doors in his life that has narrowed his scope and in the end, has just made him miserable....or with the horse that is afraid of the hat....one slammed door with the possibility of many more not-so-visible slammed doors behind it....or the person throwing their slammed doors at you as hard fact. How do I react?.....I question and if someone questions me, so much the better, cause maybe I will learn and discover some of my own doors that I didn't even realize were slammed shut. It's all about unimpeded flow forward and balance with our convictions that keeps those doors open....keeps the positive flow going.

As for Obama, for the many reasons that people joined his herd, after time and performance entail, some of them will be dispersing from the herd for the same varied reasons that they joined. Makes me think that gathering that herd in the first place was a very hard job indeed and keeping it whole will be even harder. Truth is, you can't please all the people, all of the time....and so it goes. [bat Eyelashes]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I'll reply to my own topic ... as it's just sad to watch a topic die.

The last time I ran for 'office' in a barrel racing organization ... I had seen a women's club be 'dumbed down' beyond all recognition.

I ran on a platform of returning the club to it's former status ... where competition was strong and the emphasis was on striving for excellence instead of offering 4 class divisions for the youth and 2 class divisions for the novice, making adding 'our' point classes to any given barrel race being produced cumbersome and nearly impossible.

Those who LOVED the fact that the 100 woman membership had dwindled to 14 (cause it meant EVERYBODY got a Championship and prizes) seized on the fact that I wanted to return to emphasizing open competition and spun it to mean that I wanted to ELIMINATE the youth program ... as opposed to whittle it down to one class, which was the reality.

It was a close and filthy race ... I lost.

I took away from it that the people who were profiting from the status quo were able to make me look awful by playing on the fears of the uninitiated. I had people who did not know me (and had NO clue that I was the spearhead of 'they') argue passionately that they had it on the BEST of authority that I wanted to ditch the youth program.

I look carefully before forming a second hand opinion ... and never wholly believe anything as a result.

Instinct does play a big part in any decision of mine. We have more of that left in us that we care to admit ... especially those of us who subscribe to science and are intrinsically analytical.

I wouldn't call that "spin"

I'd call that an outright, boldfaced lie!

You said nothing about "eliminating the youth program" You spoke about "changes" to the youth program. Those people lied to everyone to get you to look like an almost "evil"

choice.

This is why, I think, so many politicians are so careful about what they "say" they will do.

Someone will not only "spin it" but some will intentionally spread falsehoods to eliminate those whom they do not want in office. DIS~GUSTING aint it?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think we all can owe up to mistakes we've made. I've made one in particular here. Was called out on it -- I remember a word mentioned by other posters as "embarassed". Admitted my mistake -- still defended some points of view I had about the situation. What did that do to people's perceptions of me? I could really care less. Was I "embarassed"...ummmm...no. There isn't anyone among us who hasn't made mistakes. The only person I have to be true to is myself, in the end. When I'm wrong, I'm wrong and I'll admit it and discuss it -- it isn't an "embarassment". An "embarassment" to me would stem from knowingly following a deviance from a strict social norm.

Admitting fault when I am mistaken, that's just the kind of person I am. For me, it is about taking responsibility.

When I'm purposefully maligned to skew a perception of me, you can bet I will fight back ferociously. I get better at identifying it and dealing with it the older I get -- experience to the point of creating wisdom in life are definite friends.

There are points where I don't care about the perception part of it, too. Right is right.

For example, we went to a football game at a major stadium several weeks back. There was a guy who was complaining about how many times I was exiting our row. I was having a major health problem at the time and I had no idea before getting to the game how bad it was going to get and it caused me to frequently need to attend to hygiene. I was with a group, so it wasn't like I could just go get in my car and go home. So, I had to exit, about every 15 minutes. The guy on the end finally said to me "What the **** is wrong with you people?" He was an older guy, there at the game with his wife. I went into the bathroom and prayed for grace under fire, if God would allow me to explain, but if the response I would get in return wasn't gracious, all bets were off. I prayed for forgiveness also in advance, because I was really mad. I went back to our row, made a smile, apologized for being so disruptive. The guy smarted off to me that I should "Go out the other #$(#*&( end of the row." Well, there was a 350 lb dude on the other end, so that wasn't an option, so I assumed an aggressive posture over the obnoxious dude, all 5'4 1/2" of me, raised my voice quite a bit and told him that next time I'd wait and make sure I wiped my bloody *** all over him on my way out. He never said another word. Now, how that perception of me goes, again, I could care less. I had as much right to watch the game as anybody else. All the guy had to do was stand and let me out -- it wasn't a freaking symphony concert.

So, perception, I don't worry about and won't just stick things in my back pocket not to rock the boat. People who know me, know that I would never speak to a stranger like that unless there was a reason to. I will be outspoken if I need to defend myself. I don't run around thinking, "Heavens, what would people think??" I get a little bolder the older I get -- I think basically because I know there will be less time to carry burdens than if I was much younger. :happy0203:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Soldier's Wife? I SO understand the 'older and bolder' thing.

Apparently, there's a school of thought that opines that old, bold women were burned at the stake in Salem along with some younger wenches who had drawn the ire of the founding fathers there ... burn one? Burn 'em all.

It didn't take age for me to not care about public opinion ... though thankfully, I've only truly ONCE been totally and publically obnoxious to a friend who didn't have it coming. I was 15. At 52 ... I go out of my way to be kind to this woman. The hurt look on her face haunts me. I was absolutely awful to her ... and will never get the chance to take that back.

But NOW? I am WAY too certain of myself to need to wound because I've been wounded ... and I'm real tough to wound.

I'm always unimpressed by ugly rumours ... spin affects (see THAT, BRoo?) me, when it does affect me, by sending me to the person being portrayed and asking them point blank. Oddly, it's always been appreciated by the person in question.

Embarassed? [ROTFL] I can blush ... but OH MY is it rare. My late husband, a BIG practical joker who loved to tease ... managed it once.

He threw a party.

PS ~ Good for you for shutting down that boor at the football game. In a perfect world? He'd have offered you the end seat.

My manners were forever adjusted by time well spent with a southern lady. I never imagined doing by habit some of the things she taught me ... and I've never truly believed myself 'insensitive'. Bold? Better description.

Sometimes ... bold means going the extra steps to help some one who may not even realize you've helped them. It's cool.

Edited by quarterflash

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Considering my line of work....yeah, pretty often. And those who start flapping their mouths and running me or the rescue down are generally those who have not clue ONE what they are yapping about. Never been here; never met me, have NO knowledge of what actually goes on around here. Lucky for me there are enough people who have actually BEEN here...........because I don't have the time or energy to deal with those who want to blow their brains out their mouths just because they can. Yeah, pretty recent, can ya tell?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
....raised my voice quite a bit and told him that next time I'd wait and make sure I wiped my bloody *** all over him on my way out.......

[shocked]

No spit ! I'll BET that shut him up..................

[ROTFL]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There have been tests on the validity of each persons perception.

One way was to stage an accident or assault and then interview the witnesses afterward.

There were many differences in each witness statement.

Things that were important to them were remembered with clarity.

Unimportant things (to them) were forgotten, missed or remembered wrong.

Same situation, same information, different answers.

I still believe everyone has a right to their opinion.

And I will listen to their ideas with as open a mind as I can.

When they try to force me to have the same opinion.......

Or act if what I think is stupid or invalid......

Or it involves harming others.....

They can go ****.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this