Sign in to follow this  
Shannonp73432

Teens

Recommended Posts

Well if they would take him/her to jail I would so be for it. A night or so in the slammer would be just fine by me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If my kid were selling illegal drugs, I'd take a hard look at myself and wonder what I could do better. More supervision? Take a more active role in things? Know the kids my kid was hanging out with and their parents?

And then....I would arrange to take my kid to meet a drug counselor, a prison guard--take a tour through jail, talk to a police officer, and maybe go sit in on some ALANON or some such.

I would make dang sure they understood all the aspects of the problem. I would make sure then knew the laws and what could happen.

And then I would do random drug testing of my kid, know where they were, know who they were with, and just generally try to do a much better job being involved.

Unless it was like ibuprofen. Which I've now heard some kids get in trouble for...giving a friend a tylenol or something. Eek. That's different to me than illegal substances.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, it depends on what said drug was. A kid at one of our schools almost got suspended for giving a friend a TUMS. But after much drama and gnashing of teeth they decided that Tums falls under the 'cough drop" rule and isn't REALLY a drug so the kid was ok.

If it was something like an aspirin I'd be annoyed since my daughter knows the rules. She would get punished and I'd try to get her back into school. If it was a prescription drug that punishment would be increased by about 20 times. In fact she'd be so grounded she'd feel like she'd never get ungrounded. If it was illegal drugs? I'd be seeing if the cops would scare some sense into her. Basically everything Broo said, along with a lot of conversations about how disappointed I was and how annoyed I was.

And if I couldn't get her back into school she'd be home schooled and I'd be the toughest "teacher" she'd ever had.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

IF the kid was under 16/15 whatever driving law is in your area I wouldn't allow them to even apply for a permit/license... if they already have one I would revoke it for a long time. Therefore since you have to take the kid everywhere you know what he/she is doing where they are and hopefully hit the point home. My bros had some issues w/ drugs years ago and they learned quickly that I would turn them in or destroy whatever they had... i even taught my German shepard to sniff out drugs and even just regular cigs! They quit bringing that crap in the house immediately(even in their cars cuz no place was safe from me) and within a year or two ... and enlisting in the army they are now free from that crap!! They hated me for it then but love me for it now. I do know that if a person is worried that kids have drugs in the home that some police depts or independent people w/drug dogs offer a service where they will make sure there are no drugs in the home.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
If my kid were selling illegal drugs, I'd take a hard look at myself and wonder what I could do better. More supervision? Take a more active role in things? Know the kids my kid was hanging out with and their parents?

And then....I would arrange to take my kid to meet a drug counselor, a prison guard--take a tour through jail, talk to a police officer, and maybe go sit in on some ALANON or some such.

I would make dang sure they understood all the aspects of the problem. I would make sure then knew the laws and what could happen.

And then I would do random drug testing of my kid, know where they were, know who they were with, and just generally try to do a much better job being involved.

Unless it was like ibuprofen. Which I've now heard some kids get in trouble for...giving a friend a tylenol or something. Eek. That's different to me than illegal substances.

I'd probably do the same, minus the drug testing. I don't know if I could bring myself to do that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

These were perscription drugs.

Here's the senerio, Girl brings perscr. drugs to school to trade them for weed with Boy #1. Boy number on tries to sell them to Boy #2 (said teen). Boy #2 has no money so the kid gives him three on the account he pays him tomorrow. Boy #2 takes one, gets scared, tries to make himself throw up, and is asked what is wrong by Boy #3. Boy #3 tells him that that stuff will take him to "just the right place" (in his words) and asks Boy #2 for some. Boy #2 hands them over.

It all happened yesterday. Boy #2 confessed everything to the principle today.

Don't worry not my boy, a friends boy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some prescription drugs mixed are much more dangerous than weed tho i would be infuriated by either. I would be glad that the kid had enough gall to tell the truth that speaks volumes to me (but the whole p. drugs things cancels it out) I would let my child/teen know that if they ever got involved in something like that they would not be allowed to get license and be home schooled by me or a teacher for a year or until they think they can go to school responsibly. My dad was a school superintendent for 15+ yrs and a high school principal for another 10 beside also being a BB coach my mom is also a teacher and still is. So lets just say i really hardly ever got in trouble at school....i would have lost my ace....and never found it! I did have In School Suspension in middle school but that was after a very tough move to a new town/school.

Hope theses kids realize how badly these kind of things can hurt not only them but the people around them as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As I am but a teen myself, I can tell each and every parent out there that there is a time for tough love and kids need to know the ramifications of their actions. They need to know that each and every action they take will affect them.

But at the end of the day, there has to be trust. Frankly, and I can tell you from witnessing my own circle of friends and peers, that those who are taking prescription drugs like Percoset or such in the middle of school are usually trying to fill a void. All the kids I know who take prescription drugs have underlying problems from a broken home to bad self-image to masochistic tendencies. I've seen kids tripping right affront of parents and teachers and no one has notice.

It is a plea for help. These kids need a slap across the face as a wake-up call, and then loads of therapy and help. It will never stop over night. It might never stop. It might be a life-long battle, but it is a battle worth winning.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

tough love, get them in trouble

the boy will hate it now but he'll definitely be thankful for it later

I sound like a mother, but I just turned 18... but yeah, I'm already thanking my mum for some of her tough love moments :>

I do agree with ilovedobby, and it usually is a cry for help. The slap across the face and the therapy are a great response, imo.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

yea, they need to get slammed good for this. everyone else has already come up with some great ideas. but along with the parental talks about how disappointed they are ect, there also needs to be praise for telling the principal what happened. Telling people what's going on is extremely difficult for teens and it needs to be made super clear that what they did was the right thing and while they're still in trouble you're pleased with how they've handled it so far(not taking the stuff but in admitting). You want to keep the communication open so that if there is more issues they'll be willing to keep talking about. Trust is also another issue. Don't be constantly checking up on them. not that you shouldn't know where they are and add more restrictions ect but don't be on them every 5 minutes unless there's more offenses. yea they've messed up but they need a chance to fix it and regain that trust.

and to whoever mentioned the driver's lisence/permit thing. It depends on the kid but it would have worked well on me as a teen. So if they're gung-ho to drive(I was), it's an excellent idea. Make them wait an extra 6 months, it doesn't have to be super long for the point to get across. Even an extra day seems like forever when you're trying to get that.

also another really good thing would be to pull some news stories off the net. It happens all the time around my house. 15 or 16 yearolds are found dead at home for no reason seemingly but it almost always comes out that they tried a drug that was being passed around at a game or some other event. Kids can die from trying it just once as you never know how their body will react. Genearlly these are good kids but trying it once proved to be a death sentence and that could be very sobering for those kids to read.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
tough love, get them in trouble

I do agree with ilovedobby, and it usually is a cry for help. The slap across the face and the therapy are a great response, imo.

Worked for my Sister in the mid-80's. The day I had maxilofacial surgery, my younger Sis and her friend brought vodka to school in baby bottles. My Sis got drunk and vomitted in class. Mom was with me at the hospital and step-Dad was running the business. Step-brother had to go pick her up.

At that time, I think she was able to get away with the whole: "Oh, I was so scared for my sister having surgery, I thought the alcohol would help me forget it and be able to do normal school stuff." I wish our Mother hadn't fell for her excuse.

Several years later (maybe 2yrs?) my Sis had wiped out a $4k savings account of Mom's buying drugs for her friends when she 'ran away from home'. We were finally able to locate her and get her back home, into counseling and then she *finally* turned around. She went to college and got a BA degree in accounting, graduating and eventually running the American office accounting department of a large Italian food import business.

Success stories can happen, but I think they can happen *better* if there is a family who loves/supports/cares and is genuinely interested in the best interests of their family member.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would want them to feel that going to jail would be better than coming home to me.

I am not a perfect parent, never will be, but sometimes the way a child was raised has nothing to do with anything the parents did. Sometimes teens just do stupid, reckless things without thinking...so what would be worse, time spent with mother......or jail?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
If your child got suspended from school for distributing drugs?

Getting suspended would be the least of his worries. If I could, I'd put him in jail myself, and throw the key away.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a nephew that is in prison right now in Kansas City.

He got in trouble years ago for selling weed on grade school grounds here in ND.

That escalated to worse drugs...meth included.

He did time here in ND in jail and prison, then headed south and got into worse trouble.

Years ago I saw this coming and spoke with my brother. Bro got so angry with me that we didn't speak for over a year......when nephew got caught selling meth.

In this case, tough love was needed a long time ago. Instead he was given free rein to do as he pleased. That doesn't work.

Parenting means doing what is best for your kid no matter what. It isn't easy.

The kid needs to have consequences dealt out and stuck with now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I would want them to feel that going to jail would be better than coming home to me.

I am not a perfect parent, never will be, but sometimes the way a child was raised has nothing to do with anything the parents did. Sometimes teens just do stupid, reckless things without thinking...so what would be worse, time spent with mother......or jail?

seriously :X

that's how my house is haha, jail would be much easier on me than my mom would if I got into drugs xD

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
As I am but a teen myself, I can tell each and every parent out there that there is a time for tough love and kids need to know the ramifications of their actions. They need to know that each and every action they take will affect them.

But at the end of the day, there has to be trust. Frankly, and I can tell you from witnessing my own circle of friends and peers, that those who are taking prescription drugs like Percoset or such in the middle of school are usually trying to fill a void. All the kids I know who take prescription drugs have underlying problems from a broken home to bad self-image to masochistic tendencies. I've seen kids tripping right affront of parents and teachers and no one has notice.

It is a plea for help. These kids need a slap across the face as a wake-up call, and then loads of therapy and help. It will never stop over night. It might never stop. It might be a life-long battle, but it is a battle worth winning.

I completely agree with you.

ETA: I'm 16.

Edited by Fay C.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
If my kid were selling illegal drugs, I'd take a hard look at myself and wonder what I could do better. More supervision? Take a more active role in things? Know the kids my kid was hanging out with and their parents?

And then....I would arrange to take my kid to meet a drug counselor, a prison guard--take a tour through jail, talk to a police officer, and maybe go sit in on some ALANON or some such.

I would make dang sure they understood all the aspects of the problem. I would make sure then knew the laws and what could happen.

And then I would do random drug testing of my kid, know where they were, know who they were with, and just generally try to do a much better job being involved.

<snip>

Yep... this is what I'd do too. Depending on what the counselor said I might not do the drug testing since he turned himself in... Might not...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this