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mygoldfish

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I do things that I KNOW are bad for my emotional well-being!! And I don't want to stop until it (emotionally) kills me! I think "Oh, this time will be DIFFERENT!" Noo it won't. I just need to get used to the truth.

...I am asking for trouble.

My life story for the past 2 years.

It is so hard to see my horse deteriorating before my eyes. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. I love my big guy more than anything in the world.

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I'm absolutely terrified about starting school next week. Like, scared out of my mind.

I can't get over my ex. No matter what. He just...he means everything to me. The worst part is that I'm too afraid of what he'll say if I tell him that. I'm too afraid that he doesn't even feel remotely the same way.

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So, I guess I'm supposed to go to the shore again tomorrow...but no one's mad any definite plans for it or even texted me as far as it all goes, but they just keep mentioning it casually on facebook.

Truth be told, I'd rather just take my day off and go riding right now. I want to get back on Trigger and just take my time to mess around on Brooks.

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UGH. I HATE people who take what they have for granted!!! She keeps talking at me as if what we have or could have is exactly equal and she just got the better end purely through hard work. HA. she's so sure that everything she has with her horses is because she's so good and she works so hard and it's all what she brought upon herself and she seems to think it's good i don't have any of it because i dont' deserve it. She doesn't even know. She's never known the work i've had to do, and for what? nothing! i've worked harder than she has without even getting halfway to where she is today, and it's not my fault. This rant sounds very self-serving but i just have to get this off my chest and vent about it because this is pissing me off.

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