BarrelBlondie22

The "circle Of Trust" Pt. Ii

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I know it's early to shop for Christmas presents but the thing I want to get the boy is limited edition and I want to make it perfect lol but te sucky thing is, I want to get him special edition Oakley sunglasses for a pro motocross brand but Oakley doesn't have them anymore so I have to find some from a different site and hope they're authentic and THEN I have to send them to Oakley and get the O's changed to bright green. Sigh. This will be really hard

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sigh...

I thought things were getting better. I really did. Not like I had any misconceptions about everything being perfect and happy happy joy joy now, but I thought there was at least improvement.

I guess I was wrong.

This is just so exhausting and difficult and I don't know how to deal with it and I don't know how much of it I can deal with. I don't know what to tell him when he tells me he's a bad boyfriend because of this or that. All I can do is tell him he's wrong, but he's so **** persistent and when he's saying that it's because of things he does then I don't know what I can do about it. All I can think to say is that if it bothers him that he does those things that maybe he should stop doing those things. But then he says he does them because he's depressed and he can't help it and I don't know what to say to that or how to help with it because I don't know what it's like or how it feels so I have no idea what will help.

And this whole thing I thought things were going well.

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call that oakley store stevie!

I did! They haven't had them since Christmas last year :( online Oakley store had them a month ago when jeff showed me them. I did find some though I just found them on a site I've never heard of lol so I'm hoping I can either find them elsewhere or I'll just hope these are good. Spoiled boy :)

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sigh...

I thought things were getting better. I really did. Not like I had any misconceptions about everything being perfect and happy happy joy joy now, but I thought there was at least improvement.

I guess I was wrong.

This is just so exhausting and difficult and I don't know how to deal with it and I don't know how much of it I can deal with. I don't know what to tell him when he tells me he's a bad boyfriend because of this or that. All I can do is tell him he's wrong, but he's so **** persistent and when he's saying that it's because of things he does then I don't know what I can do about it. All I can think to say is that if it bothers him that he does those things that maybe he should stop doing those things. But then he says he does them because he's depressed and he can't help it and I don't know what to say to that or how to help with it because I don't know what it's like or how it feels so I have no idea what will help.

And this whole thing I thought things were going well.

This sounds EXACTLY like how my ex-bf was. I know exactly how you feel since I had to deal with it. I know how frustrating it can be. :huggy:

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Whats the matter girl?

But i feel the same. Big wanted change next Sept/Oct. and I am very impatient in waiting for it.

Next October is when my wedding is. :smilie: Which is exactly 13 months from today. :jump:

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Next October is when my wedding is. :smilie: Which is exactly 13 months from today. :jump:

Oh congrats! I'm sorry- I was thinking it was November so I was kinda confused.

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Not dealing.

I'm really not dealing well. I want my best friend back. Not someone who runs into me a thousand times in a week but can only say "Hi" to me two times out of that thousand. I understand that that is where he is right now but I.....I'm still just so caught, so lost, so frustrated, so hurt. I don't exactly understand why.

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Question.

Say you and a guy start talking. Sophomores in college.. Nothing too serious, just hanging out a night or two a week, you hook up a time or two and talk.

Fast forward a month. Guy sleeps over most nights or you sleep at his place. You go "all the way" with him (not his or your first time). Every time you go out you go out with him and a combination of his friends and your friends. You talk everyday, but you guys have not had any sort of conversation as to what you guys are doing, if you're exclusive, if you're official, etc. All his friends constantly tell you how much said boy likes you.

You find out that two weeks into this whatever it is, boy took a different girl's v-card. Boy no longer talks to girl, but girl liked him a lot. Girl had no idea you and boy were talking or whatever you guys are doing.

What do you do? Do you end it? Stay with him?

If you're a friend who knows all this, but girl 1 doesn't know, do you tell her?

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Question.

Say you and a guy start talking. Sophomores in college.. Nothing too serious, just hanging out a night or two a week, you hook up a time or two and talk.

Fast forward a month. Guy sleeps over most nights or you sleep at his place. You go "all the way" with him (not his or your first time). Every time you go out you go out with him and a combination of his friends and your friends. You talk everyday, but you guys have not had any sort of conversation as to what you guys are doing, if you're exclusive, if you're official, etc. All his friends constantly tell you how much said boy likes you.

You find out that two weeks into this whatever it is, boy took a different girl's v-card. Boy no longer talks to girl, but girl liked him a lot. Girl had no idea you and boy were talking or whatever you guys are doing.

What do you do? Do you end it? Stay with him?

If you're a friend who knows all this, but girl 1 doesn't know, do you tell her?

Two weeks into what stage of "this" did the situation with the other girl occur? Like, at the two-weeks-in point, was it before or after the "fast forwarding a month"? How serious was it at that point?

Idk i think it depends on what the level of commitment was at the time of the other girl.

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It was halfway into the month later. So somewhere between the then and now. Seriousness level is still pretty unknown at the two weeks point. Hanging out a decent amount, a few sleepovers have happened, becoming friends with each other's. Hadn't talked about what they were, exclusiveness, etc, still at that point today.

"Relationship" or whatever you want to call it, has only lasted a month so far, so..

Met/started talking. Two weeks later event occurs. Month (today).

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You know for a fact boy no longer talks to other girl?

Your gal pal might want to have a chit chat that suggests she and her man have a talk about what they are/aren't as well as were/weren't in the last month to go forward with full disclosure aiding her decisions.

I'm not sure I would tell her directly about hims being with someone else. Less relevant when there was no decision about what was going on between your friends and her man. No rules stated = no rules most of the time. (seen on both sides, also seen in how people use this to their advantage on both sides)

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Annnnd this is why one should simply avoid such situations.

I get the strong impression that she, perhaps, thought of the "whatever it is" being more than just hooking up, talking, friends, etc. I get the impression that it's possible he didn't think of the "whatever it is" as anything like a commitment - which makes him free to be with other girls. So even if there aren't any "rules," the perception and assumption of guidelines and ethics may have been in place. In the friend's eyes, this boy may have violated those perceived guidelines of "things not to do."

Once those hidden "yeah we're not official, but we kind of feel official" feelings are known, the situation can be handled properly. The thing is, you don't know what those are until someone has to be honest about them. This situation requires honesty in a very rude way; does she care that he slept with another girl? Forget that it was the girl's first time and he stopped talking to her (which, if that's so, just makes him look gross).

I'm a jerk, I guess, but I'd tell the friend. Truth needs to be known. She may not care, or she may care tremendously, either one is her decision.

Just be 110% that your knowledge is correct and that there isn't any chance of false information about the boy's behavior. That wouldn't be good.

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:D ive been at a week long horse show, so i haven't seen this boy in 2 weeks, but i talked to him last night and hes so nice!!! i haven't met a guy this nice and genuine in...ever...haha. he told me his friend who he hasn't talked to in forever texted him asking what was up in his life, and he replied "not much, working a lot, got a dimepiece girlfriend, not going to school, etc" weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee im a dimepiece! hahahhah i kinda feel like he must have forgot what i look like...hahaha

anyways hes taking me to the zoo on saturday! and then he wants me to come to his moms house for dinner sat. night cause his sister is coming home from college...i want to cause he really likes his sister but also i barely know him and kinda feel like i would be intruding!!! so we will see...i'm just excited, he seems so nice!

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Eh personally I wouldnt tell her. It's bad enough the guy took her card and stopped talking to her. Finding out another girl was involved with him might make it worse :/

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Stevie it's not the girl who he stopped talking to that I'd need to tell, it's the one who has been "with" him or whatever you want to call it.

It's a very awkward situation. I love love loveee boy, and I can totally see him justifying it with the whole "well we're not official, we're not exclusive" thing. Other girl liked said boy, so it almost makes me think he was talking to both of them, picked my friend, and just dropped the other girl.

I'm definitely not going to say anything until I know for sure what happened. I don't want to cause issues if it didn't really happen or if the story I was told was off. So I'm waiting to find out before I decide what to do. I just know my friend is really starting to like boy. I can see her justifying it too and not getting upset over it, but I can also see her freaking out.

:confused0024:

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For her sake and her personal health - she needs to at least talk to him to the point of whether or not he is sleeping with other people.

I've been in "friends with benefits" situations and that's fine, at the time it worked for us, but we were exclusive friends with benefits. That's my only caution. And of course she has to decide if she wants something more, and can she handle still being with him in this way if he doesn't want a relationship. It might suck - but a broken heart is far easier to heal than a disease.

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Well. I have a ...growing problem.

That may or may not exist.

I mean I am 92% confident there is no problem.

Anyways, talked to J about situation. He was zero help.

Envisioned my life with him if this problem actually grows.

Decided to handle problem by myself instead!

Told J we should cool it for a while.

End of story.

But I miss him.

And then there is still that other guy on the sidelines, but he is really just a sideline topic for now obviously.

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Krystal...I feel like we haven't talked in forever.

We should fix this issue.

In other news, we're having a big barn party Saturday night...I've talked to J a couple times about it and he's said it sounds like fun, etc etc...now I really just hope he comes.

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I love waking up to him beside me every morning :) I had probably the worst nightmare ever last night and being able to wake up from that and curl up in his arms after makes for good dreams when you fall back asleep(like hanging out at Heartland with the cast lol)

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My hubby is suuupppeeerrrr :jump::wub:

Being away from home is a really big thing for me. and he has been so super understanding and put up with so much of my emotional crap.

How'd I get so lucky?

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