BarrelBlondie22

The "circle Of Trust" Pt. Ii

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Chino - Icky! Farrah is a horrible mother in my opinion. She acts like she has a right to go out really late and leave her kid with her mother... just because shes a TEENAGER. She seems to forget that she is also a mom. I've followed your posts about you and Elliott and I think you seem to be a great mother (very impressive for your age... I admire you) and not like Farrah at all. Just thought I'd say that. Lol. But M sounds like a good guy, if he is like his friend.

LOL. I agree with you 100% about Farrah. I could rant all day about her and other young moms I know who are like her, but thats for another time.

And thank you, that really means a lot to me. It truely does.

When I told M that I'm not looking for or asking anyone to be Elliott's dad, I still want someone who would be a positive influence and would play well with him.

He said this, "To be with you is to be with him too. It would not be a responsibility to me it would be an honor and it would make me very happy." ...but I corrected his spelling just to protect your eyes lol.

It's very sweet...on the other hand I can't help but kinda think that MAYBE he's just telling me what I want to hear.

But I'll try to give him the benefit of the doubt.

So far so good! Too bad he lives soooooooooooooooooooo far away.

My friend A moved with her M to Mississippi. Thats where they met my M.

So my M is on the other side of the country.

I hate to get too ahead of myself, but if M and I *did* get more serious, I could always have A as a back-up spy.

Wait, I shouldn't need one to begin with.

But just incase....

Anyways, I shouldn't get too ahead of myself. lol

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Spent the evening together. Went to the mall. It was super fun. =]

So, a small update on the mom. Like I said before, she doesn't like us always being exclusive or only hanging out with each other. She thinks Jamie is getting too serious in our relationship. The only way she even let him go in the beginning was that my mom would be there. Which is really lame. Though not so terribly bad as he and my mom get along really well and my brother was with us, who also gets along really well with Jamie. So it wasn't so much of a date than hanging out with my family and having him come along. It was still amazing fun.

My mom did try to explain to his mom that we really don't hang out all the time. Only in the mornings and afternoons, before and after school. We don't even have classes together. Which I guess made the mom feel a little better.

Jamie says he thinks it's weird that his mom used to think we were cute. That she thought it was cute that he liked me. But that now that we're getting more serious, she acts like she never thought that and is even against us being together.

Ahh. I don't know.

I know his mom cares about him. I know she just wants what is best. But she's so blind. Everyone can see that Jamie is so much happier now. People have commented on it. Everyone loves us together. They say we're perfect. I just wish she could see that.

As for Jamie and I? We're better than ever. Growing closer and closer together with every day. I love him. =]

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Anyone anygood with dreams? like what they mean?

I slept in a little this morning. And kept having dreams this morning and Spidey kept like "walking in" my dreams. Like I could be dreaming about something random and out of the blue he would walk in the picture. walk in the dream and steal it away!

The one I remember the most..

I had been riding with a big time group of riders that come out to the ranch. I rode both my own horse and one of theirs threwout the day. I was getting tips and tricks from a FEI endurance Rider in the group. It was summer time so it was insanely hot. The Showers at the barn were finished so after the horses were all taken care of we all went up and jumped in the shower.

I was the only one left in the room and I was sitting on the bench in the Dry Room (its a little room infront of the shower stall to put your stuff/dry off) and I heard the door open..First I thought it was one of the other ladys..But then I heard "Boo you in there still?"

"Yea I'm in here Spidey Give me a sec"

I hurried up and pulled on my Jeans(upper Half was already dressed)

Opened the door to the dry room. And told him to come down there.

"Hey Boo...Can you um...get this splinter out of my finger? I can't get it..."

"Aww Spidey has a splinterrrr"

"Its not funny..Please" As he pushs his finger towards me

I found it and pulled it out and it was like the size of a toothpick running down the side of his finger into his hand..

"Thank you much" And he kissed me on the forehead and skipped away

Anyone wanna tell me the meaning to that? Is there one?

I don't know about yalll but I feel every dream has a meaning of some kind..You just have to find it!

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you think?

There is nothing in this dream that I can really trace back to life..

The only part of the showers up is the slab..thats it..

I havn't ridden with this group yet just talked to them about it.

And there is like NOTHING around the barn for him to get a splinter with everything is metal..Inless he got it down at the barns by his house..But all that is rubbed smooth by the cows its been there so long..

IDK..It was almost like he was thinking about me while he was cleaning stalls/feeding this morning before church and when he did that he walked right into my dream...Weird...

IDK..I think to much thats my issue. It makes me Insane...

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I agree with Hannah here. Most of my dreams are so crazy, (i graduated in india and rode an elephant, fought some random guy with swords while going with a wagon train out west, gone through a 7 day haunted house and watched the nutcracker at the end), and a lot of them have people I've never before seen. I've also had dreams where the people I know have total different personalities.. those are weird. lol.. but most of them have something to do with my best friends. Basically, they usually have to do with something that I'm thinking about during the day, but it takes that idea and makes this crazyy story about it.

I've never read much into dreams.. so yeah.

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Shelb: Ooo I'll take a shot at what Psychology taught me about dreams haha.

I slept in a little this morning. And kept having dreams this morning and Spidey kept like "walking in" my dreams. Like I could be dreaming about something random and out of the blue he would walk in the picture. walk in the dream and steal it away!

This one, its probably something like, your trying to live your life normal, going about your day, and he pops into your daily life and takes you away from "reality".

I had been riding with a big time group of riders that come out to the ranch. I rode both my own horse and one of theirs threwout the day. I was getting tips and tricks from a FEI endurance Rider in the group. It was summer time so it was insanely hot. The Showers at the barn were finished so after the horses were all taken care of we all went up and jumped in the shower.

I was the only one left in the room and I was sitting on the bench in the Dry Room (its a little room infront of the shower stall to put your stuff/dry off) and I heard the door open..First I thought it was one of the other ladys..But then I heard "Boo you in there still?"

"Yea I'm in here Spidey Give me a sec"

I hurried up and pulled on my Jeans(upper Half was already dressed)

Opened the door to the dry room. And told him to come down there.

"Hey Boo...Can you um...get this splinter out of my finger? I can't get it..."

"Aww Spidey has a splinterrrr"

"Its not funny..Please" As he pushs his finger towards me

I found it and pulled it out and it was like the size of a toothpick running down the side of his finger into his hand..

"Thank you much" And he kissed me on the forehead and skipped away

This one, is basically just like, he came into your life and was hurt and sad, his past wasnt "funny" in the least and he was really hurting, couldnt get the pain "out" by himself so he asked you to help. The splinter symbolizes his problems. You helped him get the long complicated problem out and once it was out he thanked you for your help and figured he needed nothing more and left. This kinda symbolizes what you were talking about before about how you feel all he wanted from you was a shoulder to cry on anda friend when he needed one. He skipped off, meaning now he is happy again, his life can go back to normal and so can yours.

Thats just my take on it :P lol

Edited by Indestructible

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I also don't put a lot of stock in my dreams. Most of mine are so crazy and random, but always really vivid. Sometimes though, I will have dreams about the same person every night for a month or more. That really bugs me and I do think it means something.

ETA: But when that happens, it's pretty obvious to me what it means. Usually I have unresolved issues with the person or there's something bothering me that involves them.

Edited by bl?mchen

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I am so giddy!

Okay so New Years Eve I ended up meeting a guy. Well not so much him, as his friend. Anyway, A is the guy and D is the friend. D kept pressing on me how he thinks A is the guy for me (apparently he knows this stuff after knowing something for a few hours). So I give D my number and he gives me his and A's and says he'll make sure A gets mine.

So that's Thursday night/Friday morning. Monday evening A starts texting me! I wasn't really sure if he would or not, but I had my hopes of course, he's hot! So he asks me if I would want to go to a PBR event this past weekend with him - actually I was already going with the group, but anyway.

That was last night and we had a blast! He's funny and sweetie and good looking to boot (ask Caroline, she *investigated* him on Facebook and he got and I quote "Haaaayyy boy haaayyy" from her, lol)

And geez - I just realized I started typing this and then walked away and here I am like 3 hours later coming back...

Anyway, rodeo. Then we went to Hooters. That was fun. All 3 boys are a blast, but A is def the most down to earth of them.

I had to take a poll of female friends this morning to see how soon would be too soon to text him and seem clingy verses taking too long and seeming uninterested.

Finally texted him this afternoon. He had a good time too and we are def hanging out again sometime soon. He lives about an hour away so I don't see anything real real serious forming, and thats good because I don't really want anything overly serious right now. I mean geez, I haven't been single that long!

But a fun guy to hang out with non the less and it feels good to be back in the dating game.

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Krystal: If you need to talk, I'm here girl. *hugs*

Life is peachy. We had a nice long talk. A lot of things were said. We talked about the early beginning of us. It was amazing. He is down here with me for my last night at work. It's sweet. Right now, I'm looking forward to moving. But only because we may be going to the beach within the first couple of weeks. : ) But I'm staying positive on the move. I can do it.

: )

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Shelb: Ooo I'll take a shot at what Psychology taught me about dreams haha.

This one, its probably something like, your trying to live your life normal, going about your day, and he pops into your daily life and takes you away from "reality".

This one, is basically just like, he came into your life and was hurt and sad, his past wasnt "funny" in the least and he was really hurting, couldnt get the pain "out" by himself so he asked you to help. The splinter symbolizes his problems. You helped him get the long complicated problem out and once it was out he thanked you for your help and figured he needed nothing more and left. This kinda symbolizes what you were talking about before about how you feel all he wanted from you was a shoulder to cry on anda friend when he needed one. He skipped off, meaning now he is happy again, his life can go back to normal and so can yours.

Thats just my take on it :P lol

This is what I was looking for. And Freakishly is about right.

Also

for the past...4 or 5 weeks...He has been in my dreams. Every dream.

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random ramblings.

today i discovered/concluded/realized something.

I absolutely adore when he says anything that indicates that i'm His.

anything from directly saying that i'm his, in some way (like the other day when he was like "you're mine, all mine") to just something as indirect as saying "my girlfriend blah blah blah..".

And i didn't even realize it. Like, today I was taking one of those surveys on facebook cause i'm bored. and one question mentioned something that reminded me of the other day when he said "my girlfriend's too sophisticated for that." and when i remembered him saying this, it just made me so happy and i couldn't figure out why THAT, of all things, would. But then i figured it out. it was the "my girlfriend" part. cause i'm HIS, and i'm HIS girlfriend, and i love that. and it still kind of hasn't sunk in.

also: he is so ridiculously, adorably cute in everything that he does. I can't get over it. I was noticing it today and then i was trying to explain it to my friend but there's no way in heck that i could recollect every little tiny moment from today when i was with him when he would do something that just made me go crazy inside with how hilariously adorable it is, and even if i could do that there's no way i could describe how adorable everything he does is.

I feel like i feel ways that i shouldn't feel only a few months into a relationship. I mean, obviously i love him. but i love him so much it scares me. I can imagine my entire life with him, and it's really weird. I worry. what if he doesn't feel as strongly about me? I mean, i know he loves me. but i'm constantly worrying that he doesn't love me like i love him, which i know is ridiculous but STILL. i'm ridiculous. so that's how i roll.

a couple cute texts from the last few days:

"you always make me feel better. when i'm around you i feel special. i feel like i'm important and loved. you make me feel so happy you don't realize it. :)"

"goodnight my beautiful blond bomb shell. :) i love ya."

Edited by mygoldfish

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:( I miss my best friend, B1[i know too many B's..] anyway, I really need to stop looking through old conversations because it makes me miss who he used to be. ALL I want right now, all i need right now is a hug from him, its the only thing that would make me feel soo much better, and not one of those weak hugs one of his hugs that makes me feel like he cares.

Me:[making a reference about me and my mom fighting]

ohhh yea. I tend to seem like a very angry child cause we fight alot over it :)

B:

:) u are an angry child

Me:

:(

B:

u know its true

Me:

I dont think you've seen me angry haha.

B:

likewise

Me:

haha I think id just laugh if i saw you angry, I cant see you as being someone who gets mad

B:

i can be very angry

i have anger issues

Me:

really? hm. Cant see it lol. You've been all happy and such when i've seen you

B:

yea u probably make me happy

Me:

:D

likewise :)

B:

but some days i can get really mad like today :)

Me:

thats cause I wasnt with you! lol

B:

exactly

------

and

B: if i make a how well do you know quiz will u take it? [referring to facebook]

I miss him, So terribly bad, its worse now cause i feel like i need him more now, B2, got a "unofficial girlfriend" and has stopped talking to me as much, he's changing and reminding me why I didn't put my heart into this friendship. B1 is the only one that has been able to make me feel my heart do back flips when I see him and talk to him.

Ughh Im having a miserable weekend with dealing with guys and having my back KILL. /Rant.

ETA:

These lyrics kinda remind me of him lol

"What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you, what am I supposed to say when Im all choked up and you're ok"

Edited by Indestructible

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Well I know that #1 really likes me. But so does #2. #2 has told my roommates that he's never liked a girl as much as me. [GREAT.] But earlier this summer we had been texting on the long drives to rodeos about how he liked me and how I wasn't looking for a serious relationship. He's super fun to hang out with but I don't know if there is anything romantic there. He's got self esteem issues...so I'm really not looking forward to breaking the news to him.

#1 had a long distance relationship for a while that was going nowhere . We would go running together and be at the same parties and he would always be like "Hey, you're hot" and "we'd make a good couple". Well he finally broke up with his girlfriend and that's when he starting calling me "beautiful" instead of "hot" and saying "sweet dreams" and whatnot. This is a major tip-off [at least I think so] that a guy likes you: he'll wish you sweet dreams. I swear by this haha.

So while #1 was dating someone else I was hanging out with #2 for like 4 weekends but there's more chemistry between me and #1 than there is with me and #2 so yeah I basically just dug myself into a hole. I'll figure out a way to tell #2 in the most gentle way possible......I hope.

Don't get me started on #3. #3 used to go to school near me. He expressed and interest in me during the spring of last year. Saw him at like 2 rodeos then he moved back home for summer and when to school in UT this year. We texted all last summer and talked a bunch on the phone and just the way he is: I feel like I could marry him. Even though we've never really hung out LOL. But he's coming back over here for school so I'll get to see him more next year. But he's been getting all hissy because I haven't been answering his calls because I've been with #1. And he rarely calls so I feel bad but still. Bah.

Basically I'm one big player. All the guys get to be players, why not me?! I want the best of both worlds.....unfortunately that never works out.

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so we decided last night, that if we can work out the moo-lah situation since he will still be in college.... we are gonna get married next summer.

SUPER EXCITED!!! :)

we're not officially engaged yet but he's basiclly said it and i have basiclly said yes. Its just not engagement ring official yet.

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. I want to spend my life with him and might as well start as soon as possible, in my mind. Oh well oh well. I'll stop my rant, the thought of money set me off.

My brother is getting married this summer...they've known each other for just over a year, been dating for just short of a year. My parents and her parents are freaking out because they're "rushing things". She's moving here (to SD, she's from Utah) at the end of this month or something and my parents are going "the whole point of her moving here is so they could be around each other more before they decide to get married". i guess i don't get it.

If they think my brother is rushing it they're going to freak when me and my BF get officially engaged and i tell them that i'm movin to SC for a year. oh well...they'll have to deal. I already know that i wanna marry him so why not start sooner than later?

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Some photos! [Yay]

Me driving his delicious truck

16951_1240798991646_1579440070_2272116_7945303_n.jpg

Just so you can see how beautiful it is lol

rogerstruck.jpg

When we went snowboarding! At the top of White Pass

16951_1240799111649_1579440070_2272119_1392457_n.jpg

And then on new years... I like how everyone has to bend down to be at my level.. hahah

16951_1240799151650_1579440070_2272120_5978638_n.jpg

He came down this weekend and was my date to a roping banquet. It was pretty awkward because he didnt know anyone so I felt bad, but he stuck through it like a trooper.

But I really do like him. He treats me so well.

OH the big thing that happened this weekend is that he met my mom! And he had to stick with her for a few hours while I was roping, once again, what a trooper!

My mom really likes him! She said he is very thoughtful. lol like he pretty much tacked up my horse, and then while I was waitin to rope, he moved my truck closer to the pavillion. And then once I was done [and pretty upset cause I missed! lol] he practically untacked my horse and threw Flints blanket on. All without being asked. He is such a good guy! Its crazy!

But Im still terrified to actually make this a real relationship... I swore myself, no more long distance relationships after 2 failed ones... yet here I am. =[

ETA: Just got off the phone with him. So my horse trailer has been makin some chirping sounds. I think its one of my bearings. We he told me yesterday he would fix it for me... well he just told me that he was gonna drive down here on Wednesday (mind you its about 2.5hr drive when the weather is decent, but the pass has been icey lately, so it takes even long) then take me out to a fancy dinner, and then on Thursday he would take my trailer back to his place, fix it, and then somehow get it back to me before rodeo practice on Saturday morning... this guy is crazy! lol He is unbelievably nice, Im just not use to it! lol

Edited by saudimack

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Insanely good times today. All the water going to the 23 auto waters in the barn busted this past weekend..today was the start of fixing it.

Spidey,Flipper and Horse rider went to town and got stuff

Me Spidey and Flipper set to work on fixing it. Mainly the guys..

Spidey Got on his stilts. Epic funnyness.

I grabbed his ***. [ROTFL] We were working in one of the stalls Flipper ontop the mule. Spidey on his stilts and me on the ground behind spidey. The big metal pipe that covers the water pipe going down to the waters was about to roll off the top of the locker and Spidey reached back to grab it and lost his ballance. I without thinking put my hands up to keep him from falling on his..Well you know..And I just happend to Grab his *** with one hand.

"That was my ***.." REALLY Big Grin. Like he didn't really mind!

Here are a few pictures. Just for fun.

DSC_03402.jpg

DSC_03422.jpg

And when we were cleaning up.

DSC_0343.jpg

p.s. I know I said I'm giving up on us being more. And Truthfully I don't think it would ever really happen..BUT We still flirt A LOT with each other.

I'm going to town with him in the morning to get more pipe..We ran out.

*edited for circumvention of site censors.

Edited by PacaPaca

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Dating drives me nuts. I spent almost all of high school never dating one single person because of horses and now I feel completely socially backwards.

I've been with a guy that I love to death for three years that has cheated on me and I'm still trying to decide how stupid I was to take him back. Although he was my first boyfriend and I had TRIED to date the times we had stopped seeing eachother and we have always ended up back together. I haven't been happy with anyone else but him. He introduced me to his entire family to me on Christmas, and I happen to be the only girlfriend he's ever had that he's completely introduced to his entire family. He's been a completely different person since he cheated, partly because he felt horrible and partly because she stalked him like a psychopath for months afterward.

Ugh, life is crazy.

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Ah, he makes me giddy.

I really enjoy being single and being a flirt, I really do.

He's a sweet guy. I'm hoping he'll understand the weird position that graduating and moving is putting me in with regards to being in a committed relationship (along with the fact that he lives an hour away) and still want to hang out and be good friends, if not in a casual/open relationship.

I think he's coming up to see me this weekend.

I like it when he tells me I'm pretty ;-)

Oh to feel like this again....

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BC -

And such is the plight of the farmer's wife. When times are good, times are good. On average farmers make 15% more than the the average American household.

But when times are bad, times can be really bad. You've got to be able to go with the flow and know when you can and can't spend. It's rough. I've got a friend who is more or less engaged (they've picked out a ring and everything, it's a matter of time) and although I love her to death, I'm just not sure she's cut out to be a farmer's wife. Granted his farm is very successful and the bad years are few thanks to good marketing, but still - they come.

And a guy that turns to drinking to erase his problems and ease depression is never good.

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[bang Head]

Someone please, please hit me in the face. HARD.

^^ My exact feelings today.

Ok so remember what B1 did? [up and shut me out of his life] yea..now B2 is doing the same thing.

Im Soooo upset its not even funny, im mad more than I am sad this time. Though I did end up breaking at school and crying. I was completly fine till I realized he's doing the whole shut me out thing again. This is strike number two for him, he has one more chance till im done, I can't take this anymore. I seriously just sat, leaning against the wall as my bff hugged me and I just broke.

She told him that he "was doing it again" as I guess she had a talk with him a few months ago about what B1 did to me and how much it hurt me and he swore he would never do it. [ I had the same convo with him and he promised never to] Well he asked her if I had a spare key to my car anywhere and she said no so he was like "ok I may have to break in then" well she told me about this and I was stressing cause, I trust him so I know he'd never hot wire it and steal it or damage it, but still I was worried. He just wanted to do what my friend advised and "prove he cared and didn't mean to do this to me". So I go to my car, expecting like a note or something. Nothing. He knew I was upset, he claimed he felt bad and he proceeded to not prove he cared, just told my friend that he "didn't mean to".

*sigh* On the plus side T talked to me today :D he walked into class, walked up to me, smiled and asked if I did the essay for English, I said no and laughed and he said "neither did I" and walked to his desk. He asked my bff who was sitting beside me the same question. It made me smile, and plus one of the guys that sits in our "group" in English was being hilarious so I was laughing quite hard. I guess im just learning who cares and who doesn't. B1, though I love him to death doesn't seem to have time to care. B2, has other people to care about and throws me on the back burner. Bff hasn't left my side for 12 years I intend to keep it that way and T, maybe something will happen, maybe not we'll see. All I know is he has made me smile both times the B's have hurt me and I love it. I plan on talking to him when he gets on facebook haha I have a topic now!

Edited by Indestructible

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