BarrelBlondie22

The "circle Of Trust" Pt. Ii

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BellaRider, why would you be scared about getting married? There shouldn't be fear!

About this whole marriage thing, I think the bottom line is that it depends on the individual, similar to what Kristin was saying. It's about what you want and what you know (basically, you have to have some sense in your brain about handling relationships before you marry). Some people want to wander on their own, or uncommitted, and some want to wander with someone.

Gladly, there are no rules we all must abide by.

Edited so I don't sound like a chimp.

Edited by Schatzl

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The ding dong told me what he got me for my birthday. We're going to the Bahama's. Sometime in the fall. Now I have to take off work. AND. If I have to take off work for that - I don't know if I can show at my fair that I've shown at for the last EIGHT years.

/lesigh.

I am VERY excited - don't get me wrong! Just wish it was early in the year or in December when I could take the two weeks off (Fair and vacation). He's a sweetie though - can't complain :] By far best birthday present yet. Except I'm afraid to fly!

Mack - Glad things are getting better. I know how much of a surprise it can be when you expect to hang out with friends and than the SO shows up. I know you didn't change his plans - but it was still probably weird to his buddies that you all of a sudden were there without being planned.

Thats great about the trip! I am pretty jealous! haha Dont be afraid to fly! Things are so safe these days [minus the terrorist attempts], but you are more likely to die in a car accident then an airplane one. SO dont worry about it! You will be just fine!

And yea, that definitely makes sense. I was just so baffled that he said that, that I didnt even consider that.

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BellaRider, why would you be scared about getting married? There shouldn't be fear!

oh I'm not scared about getting married. No way. Full steam ahead on getting married. I'm scared of moving to SC :P I live where "traffic" consists of 3 people stuck behind a tractor....while he lives where there is serious traffic. ACK! And i admit i'm a little nervous about getting married that soon but that has nothing to do with him.

I'm also rather scared of my parents reaction to me wanting to get married at 20. My brother is getting married this summer (he's 23, fiance is 21) and they talk about how he's rushing it, because she's from Utah and they've "only" been dating a year. *sigh*

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a whole new thread? i assume the "part one" was getting too full. Anyways I'm way behind, so i'll try to catch up with these six pages, i really love reading what everyone has to say.

Now as of me, so so so so SO many things have been going on. literally. There is a new boy in the picture, and not the guy i was talking about last time (my cousins girlfriends brother).

This guy is 20 years old, and is a firefighter and is currently doing EMS as of now. I first met him at my youth group where i coach kids in small groups, and he's in the same group that i teach.

He is cute, and sweet, and just a good guy all around. He's my good friend's (who i met at church too, she's my youth leaders daughter) boy friends best friend. (that was probably a little confusing. haha.

However he does have a girl friend. Well i've been hanging out with this boy as well as my good friend and her boyfriend for a week before school started, So i've gotten to know them alot more.

So i did tell my friend Casey (we'll call her that) that i thought Brittan (we'll call the boy that) was cute. Casey then told me one night when we were going to hang out with Brittan as well as Casey's boy friend, that Brittan thought i was cute as well.

So Casey's best friend is dating Brittan, who is in college about an hour and half away.

Anyways to get to what had happened last night and the night before last:

So i did know that Casey's boy friend, as well as Casey have been talking to brittan about this whole situation with me. They do know that he likes me, and they have been texting and talking about the whole situation that was unfolding.

But to put it point blank and simple, Brittan is confused about this whole thing that is happening, about how he's having feelings towards me, but he has a girlfriend (which thier relationship is rocky at the moment). When brittan was texting me there were texts that were flirtacious, like after a text that i responded "lucky", he replied "no i'm lucky i met you".

blah its really confusing, since i haven't updated ya'll in forever so its alot to take in.

But on a side note Brittan is coming over to my house as well as Casey and her boyfriend.

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Sigh, okay. This might be a little long, but please bear with me. It's important.

Like I said a while ago... I casually dated a few guys for a bit, but one of them really stood out and I started falling for him. I've been seeing him exclusively. He's very shy and it's hard to get him to open up... he had a rough past (moved more than a dozen times, his mom died of an overdose when he was young and his dad is a drug addict too). He has slowly been telling me more about himself. He just moved here two and a half months ish ago.

Well, he keeps talking about youtube. I went and looked up his account to see what he had up there. I already knew what his username was. On his youtube he had a link to his myspace, so I clicked it.

Not only is he listed as "in a relationship," but there is a million comments from some girl who says "I love you!" every other sentence.

Um, what?

I texted him saying "hey, I hate to be 'that' girl... but what is this 'in a relationship' ridiculousness on myspace?" Would have called him but he's working. He responded that some girl was stalking him a while back and his cousin created a fake myspace account that he is "in a relationship" with so this girl would stop.

I don't know what to believe. I really don't.

Help.

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Rebecca, how recent are those comments left on his myspace or youtube account? It is a bit odd that BOTH profiles say "in a relationship." Or does only one say that? Either way, stuff like that does happen...but you can also block or delete someone if they're bothering you or stalking you. Can you see this other girls profile or how he response? Something seems sketchy.

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If it's fake, why would he have a link to it in his youtube account?

Also, does he respond to her comments? He has to be doing something because I doubt that she would stop "stalking" him just because a fake myspace account now has her listed as his girlfriend and she can comment him all she wants. Honestly, I'm sorry to say this but it doesn't sound right. I hope there's a reasonable explanation. [Huggy]

Edited by dee-l

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I didn't explain the situation very well.

I don't think youtube has a place to list your relationship status. The only one that says anything is his myspace, which says he's in a relationship.

The comments from the girl are every couple of days. The last one was two or three days ago.

The comments are not from the "stalker" girl. They are from someone different. He says that the comments are left by his cousin who is using a fake profile. I guess the idea was that if stalker girl thought he was in a relationship then she would no longer be interested and would leave him alone.

So. They could either be from a REAL girlfriend, or (as he says) from a fake girl.

I can't see fake/real girlfriends profile because it is set to private, so I can't see what, if anything, he has said in response.

I really don't know if I can believe him or not.

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If it's fake, why would he have a link to it in his youtube account?

Also, does he respond to her comments? He has to be doing something because I doubt that she would stop "stalking" him just because a fake myspace account now has her listed as his girlfriend and she can comment him all she wants. Honestly, I'm sorry to say this but it doesn't sound right. I hope there's a reasonable explanation. [Huggy]

Yikes, I really didn't explain it well. His myspace account is real. He's saying that the account of the girl who left the comments is fake. Girl who left the comments is not the one who was supposedly stalking him.

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Well, this still sounds sketchy. Myspace doesn't work in a way that you can see how many friends people have, right? Seeing as their profile is private. Hmm. What is your gut telling you on this one?

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Ohhh, sorry for misunderstanding.

I still think something sounds off.

It just doesn't make sense to me that someone would have the time/energy to make a fake account for someone else and then send him "i love you"s and whatever else every couple of days.

And if a girl was stalking him enough to where he felt he needed to do that, I'm not sure why just those things would stop her. I really don't know, just some thoughts.

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Yeah, I can't see how many friends she has.

My gut tells me not to believe him. But my gut always tells me not to believe what anyone says. I generally don't trust people, so this situation is no different.

At the same time, I WANT to believe him. I really like this guy. And what if I'm screwing things up because I don't believe anything that anyone says?

I'm just so conflicted.

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I am so confused and frustrated! I think I need to break up with S. I don't feel physically attracted to him anymore and it's like... I don't even really want to see him on the weekends. But I love talking to him, he is so funny and we agree on a lot of stuff. It's just not fair to him to continue this when I don't feel the same way about him as he does about me. Everyone is telling me to give it more time but the longer I wait, the more attached he is going to be and the worse it will be when I finally do it. Ugh, this is so hard.

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I didn't explain the situation very well.

I don't think youtube has a place to list your relationship status. The only one that says anything is his myspace, which says he's in a relationship.

The comments from the girl are every couple of days. The last one was two or three days ago.

The comments are not from the "stalker" girl. They are from someone different. He says that the comments are left by his cousin who is using a fake profile. I guess the idea was that if stalker girl thought he was in a relationship then she would no longer be interested and would leave him alone.

So. They could either be from a REAL girlfriend, or (as he says) from a fake girl.

I can't see fake/real girlfriends profile because it is set to private, so I can't see what, if anything, he has said in response.

I really don't know if I can believe him or not.

Man that sounds super sketchy.

That would be hard for me to believe, but if I were you, I say just take a step back and just see how things go. Dont rush anything, but also dont jump to conclusions [even though this is a super odd case!].

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I am so confused and frustrated! I think I need to break up with S. I don't feel physically attracted to him anymore and it's like... I don't even really want to see him on the weekends. But I love talking to him, he is so funny and we agree on a lot of stuff. It's just not fair to him to continue this when I don't feel the same way about him as he does about me. Everyone is telling me to give it more time but the longer I wait, the more attached he is going to be and the worse it will be when I finally do it. Ugh, this is so hard.

I know exactly how you feel. And it sucks. That's how I knew I needed to break up with Justin--I just didn't feel like talking to him anymore! I got so aggravated and annoyed when he called and for no reason! It wasn't fair to him. Being the heartbreaker is WAY more fun than being heartbroken. Look at it that way. =P [i'm no help, sorry.] =]

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ok so boy. same one i was talking to over winter break. well. i went to utah and he came home, we never got hang out.. i hooked up with someone in park city.. he found out but im not sure how it affected him but he texted me while i was in utah twice and then we didnt talk until a week after i got home (i see him in class every day, but like we wouldnt talk at night) then when we did talk which was the thursday after i got home, wednesday the next week and friday the next week he wouldnt be very flirty, just kinda a hey whats up, no smiley faces, no "wiz" nothing but he was getting back to being flirty in person which i took as a good sign

then this wednesday his best friend and me had a little heart to heart haha about the whole situation despite me not knowing like what this boy wants out of me. i dont know if he justs want a hook up or if he just wants someone to talk to or if he wants a date or what. but i dont want a relationship thats for sure..

but he texted me last night and he was back to normal :) like adorable texts, smiley faces, he called me wifey (joke between us), wiz, gorgeous, beautiful, everything he used to do. and we ended up talking about some pretty deep stuff about ourselves which i thought was so sweet of him because he doesnt open up about anything really. and so we ended up texting from 10 till 3 in the morning haha.

but yeah. so despite the goodness of last night, it still made me only more confused about the whole situation cause i have absolutely no no no idea what is going on.

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I know exactly how you feel. And it sucks. That's how I knew I needed to break up with Justin--I just didn't feel like talking to him anymore! I got so aggravated and annoyed when he called and for no reason! It wasn't fair to him. Being the heartbreaker is WAY more fun than being heartbroken. Look at it that way. =P [i'm no help, sorry.] =]

Haha thank you. You're right, I'm glad I'm not getting let down here. I've had a lot of that in the past year or so.

Well, I broke up with him. He's upset.

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Ah, the boyfriend totally indulges me. We did this little survey book thing, and there was some question about rings. We were discussing that briefly, and he said he isn't sure what I like...and therefore is fine with more hints. Totally exciting, and its nice that I can look at rings online and not feel like I'm dying to speed up time. I have patience, we're not in the place to run away and get married yet (not in the place = financial + school reasons).

I've never been the girl to dream of my wedding. I just didn't get that memo as a little girl. About a year ago, with him, thoughts of it have been becoming more prominent. I'll hear a song and be all...oh, what a good song that'd be for a first dance! Btw, "You Send Me" by Sam Cooke is like, amazing. You know how the girls scream and basically freak out in the 1960's when they see the Beatles? That's how I feel. Giddy! Anyways, it's exciting and I'll shut up now.

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So last night there was a school dinner and vespers type thing. Several students volunteered to help out with the food, Jamie and I among them.

While we were serving food, one of our good friends looked at us and started laughing. When we asked why he was laughing, he just said that "We killed him." So later I asked him and he said that we look like a married couple.

Which I found interesting and kind of nice.

And we had a lot of other random comments throughout the night about what a cute couple we are and stuff.

Which just makes me kind of happy.

Even if it's not true, since we're still not dating.

A more updated version of why, is that he wants to sort things out with his family first. His mom still doesn't approve of us being so close. And he doesn't want to create any tension. Even though she thinks we are dating.

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Omg... Schatzl, BE CAREFUL!

My brother begged me to cut his hair once, and even though I was super careful, I still ended up whacking a giant chunk out. It was awful.

Good luck if you decide to do this, because it is way harder than it seems!

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Yeah...I wouldn't attempt that haircut. I'm good with buzz cuts when I can just put a guard on the clippers and go - but actually cutting with scissors...NOPE.

I'm at my parents place this weekend to say goodbye to my best friend. He's leaving to move to New York City next week to work. We've been best friends since high school. I'm to see him leave. Idk how tonight's going to be though - we're going out to dinner and just hanging out - as I know he has feelings for me that just aren't reciprocated on my end.

As much as I want to be here to say goodbye to him - I've got such a social life back home at school now that it's crazy. I've def become socially liberated since I've been single...

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Ughh... well S and I talked more. He's actually being surprisingly levelheaded about all of this. He seems to understand where I'm coming from. He wants to keep talking though and try to be friends. I'm cool with that, I do like talking to him. But I am afraid that he thinks something will come of it. I warned him and I said, "I don't want you to talk to me and expect something to come of it, because I really don't think we will get back together." And he said that's fine, if he gets bothered by that, he will let me know. Then later I said, "It might be hard for you to get over me if we continue talking after this," and he told me to "stop making assumptions about us" and that we should just talk and "see where it goes." Ooookay, first of all, there is NO us anymore. Second of all, that really makes me think that he is expecting us to work things out and get back together. The problem is, there is nothing to work out. The main problem here is that I don't have strong feelings for him and there's pretty much nothing I can do about that. Well, I have made it clear to him not to expect anything and that I do not think we will get back together. That's really all I can do.

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I've tried to tell him I do not know what I'm doing and I don't believe in my skills. Typical response of: It'll grow back, it's just hair! My mom was a licensed hair dresser when she was younger, so perhaps I'll have her do it. Or supervise me. I've trimmed his hair, but not taken significant length off. The more videos and reading I do on haircutting, the less I think it'd work for me to do it. I may just refuse and say, lets have my mom do it, I'll watch, and perhaps try next time. Eventually I'd like to know how to cut his hair, but now...uhhh.

Kristin, is your boy prone to being moody like that? That behavior gets old...I shouldn't be one to talk, because I can be moody (getting better about it, however, and explaining what's going through my mind). Have you asked him why he's being distant or just fussy?

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Blumchen---NO WAY. Your ex and my ex should get together. Endless optimism is cool as a life philosophy, but gets really, really, really annoying when the said optimist doesn't understand that it. is. Oh. Ver.

I adore my boy. He is just adorable and steady and amazing. He is logical and easy going and yet completely straight forward and open with me about his emotions. He understands that certain people and things come with this gorgeous package (me :P haha). I can't wait to see him this Sunday!

Oh! And one of his girl friends dragged him to a horse show today and he liked it! He texted me that he may be dumping me for a "really adorable baby horse" he saw "with eyes even cuter than yours...you've got competition!".

WIN. I did have to call him and school him on proper "baby horse" terminology though.

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Heya guys!

Long time no post!

I've skimmed and read a couple posts here and there on the last few pages, so I just wanna say YAY for all the good news! And hugs for any not-so-good news.

Well, SOOO, M and I are official! Have been for a couple weeks now.

He is so nice, so thoughtful and he makes me feel like he really does care.

I'm just all smiles!

N and I are so awkward lol. He showed up at my house the other day to get the cell phone he gave me. Well, I lied and said I didn't have it. So he stayed a few minutes anyways. So so uncomfortable! So I asked him about his new gf and he offered no details.

After he left, I figured out why.

I had gotten a phone call from a friend and she says "Did you know N is dating A?" And I said..WHAT! Never saw that one coming!

A participates in the other stuff that N does, so they'll make a good couple since they have more in common, lol. But A has a baby... maybe N has a weird attraction to moms?

Do you ever feel like your ex "downgraded" after you? Because I sure as heck feel that way, lol.

Anyways, hope everyone is having a nice saturday!

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I'm sliding in to touch base right quick. One stuck out in particular. My mind is frazzled so I can't really remember any of the others.

Bella: Don't be afraid of moving. I'm right there as we speak. I went from living in the country of a town with less than 1000 people in it to a smaller city with over 11,000 people in it. I'm not used to traffic. I'm also used to being around family. Now? I am hundreds of miles away. You can do it, girl! Best of luck when it happens.

I'm gonna touch on the wedding talk. I know I'm gonna marry Jon. When? I do not know. Personally, I want both of us to be atleast 21. So that would be after October 2011. I'm nervous about my future because I have absolutely no clue what it will hold for me. Only time will tell, I suppose.

We are doing good. Not much of an update. I'm trying to figure out what we are going to do for Valentines Day. : )

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The Jerk and I have settled into somewhat of a "friends with benefits" stage...and for once I'm okay with it. I don't really want a relationship, I'm not good at them, besides I leave in the fall for college and I'm dead set on entering college completely free and open, I don't want to be tied to anything back home other than my horses.

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...I'm dead set on entering college completely free and open, I don't want to be tied to anything back home other than my horses.

SAME. This was another thing I had to explain to S when I was breaking up with him. I think it would be hard for me to adjust if I was holding onto a relationship (especially with someone who is still in HS, and he would be).

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Caroline - honestly, nothing wrong with that in my eyes. Been there. Would go there again. He's gone this semester from school for personal reasons, but I know he'll come back up and visit towards the end of the semester. And yeah, wouldn't mind it a bit.

Chino - On "downgrading" after a boy is done dating you. I really truly believe that a lot of guys have an inferiority complex. They start to date strong, confident, independent women who have a great head on their shoulders - like yourself and I - and it scares them. Where a girl thinks "Wow, I am sooo lucky to be with him!" when dating an awesome guy, a guy thinks, to my understanding "I'm so not good enough for her."

I'm sure it happens vice versus too, but I think it goes that way more often. So when they end up losing the confident awesome person - whether they intentionally, or unintentionally, sabotage the relationship or it just ends, they look for someone they think is "more worthy" of a person like them.

It's annoying as heck quite frankly. If I want to be with you, I'm going to be with you - not with that dude over there. I think you're good enough for me and that's all that matters!

In other news - I love respectful guys. It's no secret between us or people who know us that my best friend would have/would like to date me. We've talked about it before, but he's one of those call in the middle of the night with any problem and if he can help he will kind of guys - and I'm not willing to put that on the line, minus the fact that there is no physical attraction from me to him. He's not my type at all.

So he's moving to NYC next week to work as a big kid. So I drove home this weekend to spend time with him and say good bye. I was wondering what would happen at the end of the night - if it was going to be one of those "well I won't see you for a while, so lets see how this goes" sort of things or what. He was totally respectful and figured out my feelings all on his own.

In other news - had I not been hanging out with him tonight - we went to the local country "establishment" where a couple bands were playing. NE IN hicktowns sent out their finest and DANG - if it'd been me and my girls we woulda been all about some of that!

Haha. Oh I love being single...

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Alright Guys...I need some advice.

My best friend (he's a guy) is married but apparently they're getting a divorce soon. I've been helping him try to find an apt because his wife won't leave the house (even though she should..) She's physcotic (no, seriously) and has cheated on him numerous times, I know of more times than he does.

Here's the thing. Back a few days ago I found out that HE has a girlfriend. His wife has posted it all over her myspace and called him out on facebook over it/posted the messages to him from the GF on facebook. This kinda hurts my feelings because he's been my best friend for 3 years and I NEVER saw him doing this kind of thing. Not only that, but we always said if we were both single at the same time, we'd date eachother. Now I'm single and he's fixing to be..but he's got this other chick.

Everyone I've told about this has told me that I need to confront him and ask him what is going on with this other chick. I'm not good at confrontation, so what do I say? I know I have to say something because me living with it and holding it in is stressing me out beyond belief. I'm stressed to the point I can't sleep. I talked to him on friday but he didn't say anything about it and I didn't bring it up..when I know I should have then.

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