BarrelBlondie22

The "circle Of Trust" Pt. Ii

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Well.. I think I am going to call it quits with Roger. I'm puttin way too much effort into something thats going to go no where. And Im pretty sure we both know it.

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ok so boy. same one i was talking to over winter break. well. i went to utah and he came home, we never got hang out.. i hooked up with someone in park city.. he found out but im not sure how it affected him but he texted me while i was in utah twice and then we didnt talk until a week after i got home (i see him in class every day, but like we wouldnt talk at night) then when we did talk which was the thursday after i got home, wednesday the next week and friday the next week he wouldnt be very flirty, just kinda a hey whats up, no smiley faces, no "wiz" nothing but he was getting back to being flirty in person which i took as a good sign

then this wednesday his best friend and me had a little heart to heart haha about the whole situation despite me not knowing like what this boy wants out of me. i dont know if he justs want a hook up or if he just wants someone to talk to or if he wants a date or what. but i dont want a relationship thats for sure..

but he texted me last night and he was back to normal :) like adorable texts, smiley faces, he called me wifey (joke between us), wiz, gorgeous, beautiful, everything he used to do. and we ended up talking about some pretty deep stuff about ourselves which i thought was so sweet of him because he doesnt open up about anything really. and so we ended up texting from 10 till 3 in the morning haha.

but yeah. so despite the goodness of last night, it still made me only more confused about the whole situation cause i have absolutely no no no idea what is going on.

AHAH! I have a wifey/hubby inside joke too and I love it.

So I don't know which boy I numbered him as but we'll call him Steve....he brought me flowers. No wait--he surprised me with flowers. He swung by my house while I was at work and left them on my desk and left a really cute note. Meanwhile, I was on the phone with Spud-Stud and my roommates are watching me enter the house trying to see how I will react to the flowers. I walk in my room, still on the phone with Spud-Stud and I see the flowers and go "Oh...my...God..." all dramatic like....haha it was hard covering for that one to Spud Stud....who has been calling alot lately and acting really cute. Which would have been great oh...I dunno...a couple months ago! But now I'm basically dating Steve....I don't feel like telling Spud-Stud that because he's so far away and I barely even KNOW him, all I know is that he's a cowboy and I love the way he talks LOL. I'm pretty sure we would be awesome together once we did get to hang out BUT that won't happen until like next year when he comes back over here for school so righ now I'm just going to go with flow because I really like Steve. He's totally not my type but we have fun hanging out and he's really sweet. Plus, none of my friends liked him in the beginning so I think I hung out with him to be a rebel and spite them but he's come around and has proven to be a really nice guy so that's that. Anyways. There's my update. =]

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I feel like I am being horrible to this thread. I keep lurking and reading but hardly ever post replies to everyone. Work is taking over my internet time - ugh.

Boy and I are good. Things are back to normal. He just has his moments - as do I. And pretty much that is that.

Dusky - Being able to smell him on you is one of the BESTEST feelings e.v.e.r. I still get butterflies when I can smell my boy on me when I leave. Love it! Good luck with everything! Getting to be good friends is always a great start!

Hannah - That is a serious talk. Did you decide what you're going to do? I know you've been saying money is your only issue. Now it doesn't seem like he has much of a problem with it! You can still be in college and be married. Just get married in the summer when you are out of classes and can plan it. Or go to the court house and have an actual wedding when everyone can make it and you're both out of college. Ahh! So exciting!

Mac - Relationships only work when it is 50-50. If you're putting too much in - he isn't putting enough. Why do you think things are changing all of a sudden? Either way, bummer. You sounded very interested in him!

Joc - Over a year and I am still waiting on the day I'll get flowers from my boy (Any boy besides my Dad) haha. How exciting even if you were on the phone with another guy, lol.

Oh - and the Valentine's Day thing. I was excited it was on a Sunday - a day I can wake up next to him and we can spend it all together. But, alas - like last year - he doesn't want to exchange gifts or do anything. We may go out to dinner, but that'll be about it. Last year I made a basket of cookies for him and then we just did nothing. He isn't really into "lovey" holidays (Sweetest Day, etc.).

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So....does that mean you're officially breaking up with J?

Congrats on the potential job!

No. Nothing is "official" in my life right now.

Maybe I just dont function officially. I only see him once a week for an hour or two max. We dont text or talk on the phone more than once a day.

I think we are in a very casual relationship. We both know it. We are both okay with it.

Sometimes I wonder if he was in "casual" mode the whole time?

Regardless, im happy.

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Mack, sorry to hear about you two going separate ways. I agree with what Kristin said, it's a 50/50 thing most of the time. Hopefully someone else wonderful comes along or things get straightened out with Roger.

Kristin, I do the same thing a lot. I always read this thread, it's just sometimes I feel like too much of a vegetable to respond. I'm glad to hear you and your boy are well. Though he totally needs to get you something for Valentines! I do think it is all a bit over hyped, mainly because of how ridiculously expensive things become. But c'monnnn. A little box of chocolates or flowers for under $10 would be lovely and not asking too much.

Krystal, Please let us know how this job prospect turns out! That is very exciting. I don't know what to say about J, it's unfortunate he doesn't have more compassion for you and your endeavors. I hope his mom is alright. Is he a "momma's boy" as the world would say? Nothing wrong with it, but he may be feeling scared or anxious for his mother. I hope everything works out well!

So the conclusion of our discussion is we still don't know! We're going to talk about it in person when we're together next...because who wants to plan something like that over AIM? He began to get discouraged by the lack of resources. If we did get married while in school, we'd live off of financial aid. Which, apparently, being poor and married would "look good." However, we don't want monstrous loans. Perhaps they'd up the ante on grants? I have a 3.9something GPA, so that'd also work in my favor. We may run this by one of our parents and see what they they think. Unfortunately, I think the only parent out of both of ours who would encourage us is my dad. Don't get me wrong - no one else has a problem with us. My mom knows we want to get married after school (at least). But they're all kinda money oriented with worries about resources.

Hmm. My boy and I are both "Lets run off into the West and forget the world -- live happily ever after!" sorta people. So we're trying to be realistic, because that mind frame doesn't pay bills, and landlords don't care how romantic you are. I imagine if any older adult is reading this, which I also imagine a ton are, they must be all thinking "DON'T DO IT!"

It just needs to be discussed. Because what spawned it all was the prospect of the boyfriend, myself, and my brother living together. Of course, being married changes nothing in all of that. But we'd probably (just a guess) want to live by ourselves. Which, again, no different than the situation I am in now with sharing a place with my brother. The boyfriend is moving out of his parents home regardless of all of this. So we'll see.

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Well thing was, it was completely opposite 2 weeks ago. It was probably like 70/30 on his part, driving over here for the past 6 weekends [mind you its a 2.5 hr drive, in good weather. The pass had been icey/snowy when he came]. I just didnt have the chance to go over there because my grandma passed away and then I have practice every weekend. And I told him that too in the beginning.

But gawd. Ever since that once weekend that I did go see HIM, things have just been weird. And I can't take it anymore. I was talking to a guy friend about this and he said it sounds like he is pushing me away because something else is probably on his mind, which is true. He is going through a lot of stress right now [job, living situation, etc]

But I kind of half-heartedly knew that this wouldn't work, as awful as that sounds. Its the whole distance issue that messes everything up. But I just wanted to have fun, and well, thats what I did. He spoiled me pretty well and we had a good time hanging out together.

Maybe some where down the line this could work.... but not now. Im too young for this BS.

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Ok so I haven't updated in forever, but I have been catching up on you all! It sounds like some people's relationships are going really well (even talking about marriage) and others are going not so well...

I just wanted to pop in and say that it's the boys birthday tonight! [Jump] So I'm making him dinner! I'm grilling steak (which I'm currently marinating right now!), and sauteing some mushrooms to go on top! I also made cheesy potatoes and some cheesy toast....what else...oh yeah were going to have salad with italian dressing (his favorite) and strawberry covered cheesecake (another favorite)! And of course were topping it off with sparkling grape juice! hehe It's kind of a surprise dinner...he knows were eating, but doesn't know what I'm making so I'm excited!

Anyway, I have to go start the cooking, so I'll update tomorrow with pictures!!! :happy0203:

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Oh no.

Oh nonononononono.

I'm such a screw up.

So, everyone here knows that I broke up for Guy A because I had feelings for Guy B but my feelings for Guy A aren't as clear as I thought they were although Guy B gets me way more. Like WAY more.

And Guy B doesn't kiss me the way Guy A does and I can't tell ANYONE in my life but you internet strangers. And I got to see Guy A today (we're back on campus post-winter break) and he is getting together with his "friend" who happens to be talented and gorgeous and amazing. I mean, she is gorgeous. I've never, ever, ever been the pretty girl. Ever.

So. Here I am. Refusing to go watch a movie with the guy I'm MEANT to be with and his friends and realizing that I want the kisses back of the guy who I broke up with over a month ago who is now with someone I simply cannot compete with.

And the worst part? I broke up with the guy, right? Yet I'm still wallowing and pining over him and he has moved on (or so it seems).

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Oh no.

Oh nonononononono.

I'm such a screw up.

So, everyone here knows that I broke up for Guy A because I had feelings for Guy B but my feelings for Guy A aren't as clear as I thought they were although Guy B gets me way more. Like WAY more.

And Guy B doesn't kiss me the way Guy A does and I can't tell ANYONE in my life but you internet strangers. And I got to see Guy A today (we're back on campus post-winter break) and he is getting together with his "friend" who happens to be talented and gorgeous and amazing. I mean, she is gorgeous. I've never, ever, ever been the pretty girl. Ever.

So. Here I am. Refusing to go watch a movie with the guy I'm MEANT to be with and his friends and realizing that I want the kisses back of the guy who I broke up with over a month ago who is now with someone I simply cannot compete with.

And the worst part? I broke up with the guy, right? Yet I'm still wallowing and pining over him and he has moved on (or so it seems).

Hannah, since I have more knowledge of horses than men, this is how I'm going to relate this.

Treat each boy like they are a clinician you are riding with.

Take what you like, what works from you, what you have learned from each, leave what you don't want or like, and apply it. What may not seem right currently might be applicable years down the road.

It is likely that neither guy is "The One" but both have aspects you will want in "The One." So this is REALLY GOOD that you now know what you want and don't want.

People evolve and change, and, also, there are plenty more fish in the sea. ;)

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Thursday it will be two years he has been in my life. I have no idea where I'd be without him.

Yet, he STILL doesn't get why I ride, and it's killing me!!! I could be going to a rodeo this weekend but A it's our anniversary B my horse is deff not in shape and C I don't feel like driving out all that way.

I don't know how he can't see it honestly makes me so happy and actually gets me in a better mood. I have no clue what he is goign to say when I tell him I think I found a horse to call my own.

Loving this boy has had it's ups and downs but really, the ups have outweighed the downs. The only thing he doesn't like me doing is riding and going to one town by myself since some really bad things have happened to me there. Even though I have friends up there he doesn't trust them to keep me out of trouble, or trouble away from me.

I am at my wits end with the whole riding situation. What do i do??? Suggestions would help a TON.

PS boy is the most stubborn pigheaded boy when it comes to this stuff. He doesn't want to go to the rodeos because it bores him, and he can't see it in a diffrent point of veiw either.

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Tori: I hate fishing. Well, not totally hate but it is definately not a favorite way to pass the time. Jon loves to fish. And because I love him deeply and dearly, I have chosen to go sit on a river bank curled up by a fire for several hours countless times while him and his cousin cast out. For the longest time, I didn't understand why he would ask me. Then, once I started to mature more and more in the relationship department, I came to realize that because he loves me, he wants me to be with him while he does an activity that he enjoys. I'm not sure how this would help you. It probably won't. The only thing I can come up with is to just talk to him. I understand he is younger than you and that guys mature slower than females at any rate. He may just not understand. At any rate, best of luck. Congrats on two years. : )

Hannah: Best of luck. It's exciting for the potiental talk, huh?

Everyone else, sorry for not touching base. These were the only two that stuck out.

I'm starting to get leary about my decision to move to CA. I'm not to the point of wishing I hadn't yet. It was very poorly planned. I'm busting it trying to get a job around here but with the economy, it has not worked out well for me with the economy being so low. I have to send money back to Oklahoma; roughly $400 a month to cover what I need to cover. Blah. I left a good job and a lot of happiness back in Oklahoma. I'm not saying I'm not happy here, just not "Tabby". His grandmother is always around the corner listening. I can't stand that. Oh well. I got off my train of thought. I really hope this move doesn't tear us apart. I think after he watches the movie he is watching, I'm going to take him out into the backyard and talk. Things don't seem the same or right any more. I don't know what it is. Something is different. Hopefully what ever it is, get's it's ugly butt on down the line.

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haven't updated so0o0o0

ben officially moved to oklahoma or whatever. I was heartbroken but its all good we still talk once in a while

but theres this guy. real cute, 23, diesel mechanic, nice truck, good job, own house, and hes crazy over me. we're not really together and I told him I wanted a cb in my truck from just this silly conversation and he came over last saturday and bought a cb w/everything and installed it!!!!!

he took me to bass pro shop (2 hr drive) and since we had to take my truck because his brother was borrowing his, he filled it with gas. we went out to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Bought me this cute camo hoodie. Its like he was trying so hard to impress me. But honestly, I know this sounds terrible but I just don't see myself with him. I want someone who is just as into rodeo as I am. He doesn't understand that in the summer my life consists of rodeo. I eat, sleep, and breathe barrel racing. Like I want to meet someone who fits my life style I guess. Hopefully I don't sound horrible? I don't know maybe things will work? ehh

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^I think you should atleast give him a fighting chance.

For all you know, you dont know if he can or cannot fit your life style.

And if you were to find a cowboy, he just might end up going to different rodeos than you. It happens!

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Honestly, as long as he accepts your rodeo habit it is not bad. I am glad my boyfriend doesn't show/rodeo nor own his own horse. I love that he is willing to help me out and ride with me but I would not find it fun if we competed together. I guess it is not all that bad - but I just wouldn't care for it. He can get his own horse down the road - that's fine. But right now it is my thing.

Talk to the guy. See if he understands. Tell him you're afraid to get too involved if he isn't willing to support you/allow you to go, etc.

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i agree with everyone else mary, he sounds like he really likes you and is a real sweetie, explain to him how much rodeo means to you. :)

for the record, every time i type your name, i type "marry" the first time. hahaha

Edited by paintpony1

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Mary, I agree with what everyone has already said! Good advice.

Krystal, I've only had one official boyfriend. My gosh, I'm like the poster child for what people say doesn't work...First boyfriend, I'm 20, in college, and want to get married. However, there have been 2 other guys who back in the day I flirted with and we were cutesy but nothing ever happened. One, in retrospect, was such an idiot and so annoying and arrogant and EW. I wouldn't date him because I didn't know him well enough and told him. He was so freaking persistent, and by the time I liked him, he had blown me off. I somehow learned a lot from that.

Oh well oh well! The BF is fabulous and I'd be a complete fool to let him go. And to note, he knows nothing about horses. He see's a horse rear and he says "it's doing a wheelie!"

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BOYFRIENDS.

I'll list everyone that has been labeled as my boyfriend, but I'll star the ones that *I* count as real relationships.

#1: 7th grade, he was a freshman. I was IN LOVE with him. Your typical bad boy/guitar player. That didn't last long, lol, obviously.

#2: 7th grade...I'm not sure how/why it happened. I wouldn't even talk to him because I didn't like him...

#3*: 7th/8th grade and we actually "dated" for 9 months. He was my first "real" boyfriend and we actually had a really good relationship until he cheated on him while away at a wrestling tournament.

#4*: 8th grade/9th grade: He was my best friend. We were together all of 8th grade year and into the summer before 9th grade. I don't even remember WHY we broke up, but I remember I was absolutely devastated and my bff and I had ironically chosen to see 'The Break Up' that night prior to it happening. We got back together for a short time, but it didn't work.

#5: My best friend's brother, lol...I think had I not moved we actually would have made a decent couple. But right when we started dating (my freshman year, his junior) was when I found out I was moving but couldn't tell anyone. Once the news broke I just couldn't be in a relationship, so I ended it, but...

#6: The time between #5 and me moving I nabbed #6 mainly because I knew it wouldn't be anything serious. I was stressing out over moving and all that and he was just THERE.

And then I moved and haven't had a legitimate boyfriend sense. I've had boys. Not boyfriends. Several boys.

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Oh well oh well! The BF is fabulous and I'd be a complete fool to let him go. And to note, he knows nothing about horses. He see's a horse rear and he says "it's doing a wheelie!"

hahahaha thats awesome.

If it helps I have had 0 boyfriends lol

I feel like such an outcast :P though I like having independence most of the time :)

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Oh well oh well! The BF is fabulous and I'd be a complete fool to let him go. And to note, he knows nothing about horses. He see's a horse rear and he says "it's doing a wheelie!"

hahaha I'm guessing that's exactly what J1 and J2, and basically any other guys I've liked would be like.. I don't have a problem with it though, lol I find it amusing.

If it helps I have had 0 boyfriends lol

I feel like such an outcast :P though I like having independence most of the time :)

Same here, lol I'm only 16 though. I haven't felt much of a desire to need one set guy, I like having guy friends. :)

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I'm on my first one. We're both 18, planning to get married.

I didn't wanna date until i could have a serious relationship. To me there's no real point in it otherwise.

He knows nothing about horses. Which is perfectly fine, because he supports it. i'm the only one in my family that rides and i actually prefer that because it eliminates clashing on training philosophy and whatever.

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Mary, I know how you feel.

I had the non-horsey boyfriend. And he was GREAT. Like....if he had been a cowboy I'd probably be married right now, lol. But he wasn't a cowboy. Our relationship got to where I'd rather go ride my horse and practice than spend time with him. BAD. I realized that I need someone that understands that lifestyle and CRAVES it as much as I do. I know what it's like....the tension between different styles of riding and roping and the different opinions of different people in the relationship. I was the victim of that learning how to rope. My dad had one way of swinging his rope, my mom had another. They would bicker about it constantly. And dad can't stand how mom doesn't ever back her horses up after she stops them but those are just little things. That's just how my family is. I have to marry a cowboy.... And after hanging out with a roughie [a ROUGHIE even] I know that that's how is has to be. I can talk about what I love and not get a confused look or the fake "understanding" look.

You could always date him just to see where it goes. She what you like in relationships. But it always gets complicated. I know I'm setting myself up for a mess but I like it right now. I tend to live for NOW and not the future.

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Sophomore, and almost seventeen. Haven't had a boyfriend.

I've had plenty of guys ask me out. People I don't know at all or who already live two hours away from me.

Jamie will be the first. Whenever he gets around to asking me out. XD

We've been pretty much dating for the last four or five months though. lol

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OMGz...

Someone tell me this didnt just happen...

Mmmk, so I am at J's house sick.

Somebody knocks on the door and I answer it.

A man, my age +/-...

Asks me if my father is home.

First off, I am old. I really dont look like a girl that lives with her daddy.

Second, everyone knows this is J's house. You dont just stumble upon it.

The question is...

DID THIS GUY THINK J WAS MY FATHER??????!!!!!!!!!

adlfjadlfkjaldfkjasdfkjadfajsdfljasf;kj]\\

surely not

surely not

surely not

Someone please tell me he doesnt look old enough to be my father?!

P1010367.jpg

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I'm only on my second boyfriend.

And the first one...i'm not sure i'd even count it...

it was our freshman year in high school and he asked me out on valentines day, even though we hardly even knew each other. two weeks later i got fed up with it and ended it.

eh...then, about a year later, he asked me out again...I stupidly said yes...once again, though, it was over two weeks later.

Then just random pointless crushes for a couple years, until this october...=]

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I'm on my first one. We're both 18, planning to get married.

I didn't wanna date until i could have a serious relationship. To me there's no real point in it otherwise.

He knows nothing about horses. Which is perfectly fine, because he supports it. i'm the only one in my family that rides and i actually prefer that because it eliminates clashing on training philosophy and whatever.

is this the guy you met on the internet? have you guys had more than 1 visit together? i'm trying to remember but i thought there was only one time...

congrats on the marriage prospects though, thats exciting!!

i'm finally happy to be single. to be honest, i really don't have time for anything serious right now...and i'm not just saying that. i'm taking 4 classes this quarter, i own 2 horses and ride 1 for my trainer, all 3 i ride 5 days a week, plus i have a pass at the mtn. so i ski on weekends, and i'm in the equestrian team...it's kinda overwhelming because its gotten to the point where i spend 4-5 hours at the barn every weekday...plus my trainer is bringing a pony over on monday who i'm going to start riding 5 days a week to prep him for sale (i'll get half of whatever he sells for so i can pay my parents back!)! it's all really fun, i love horses! but i don't really have time for anything else...

and whats weird is i usually have a crush on like 5 people at a time...but right now i don't like anyone...i think its cause i'm finally over my ex and i see how bad he was for me and all the sudden my standards are really high...hmm

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LOL Krystal thats hilarious. no he doesnt look old enough to be your father

but if it makes you feel any better.. the lady at sonic today asked me if i was 15. i've heard this more than once...do i really look 15?

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i have had like 1 real boyfriend and 1 not real boyfriend...

what i mean is the not real boyfriend was a boy that kept asking me out..id say yes and we never lasted longer then 3 days...haha soo i dont count him

the real boyfriend was one i had last year we dated for nine months.... the last month and a half was on and off...one week together the next not together...we are slightly friends...we talk maybe about once every three months soo i dont care.

i am actually happy to be single...ther reason me and the boyfriend broke up was mainly over because i got a horse.when i got remmie a lot changed...i changed..i couldnt juggle a horse and a boy,so i kept the horse. Plus we fought a ton about remmie.so we ended it.

My horse was way more then worth it! i am soooo overwhelmed with him and school and work it is hard to hang with friends.I couldnt even imagine having a boyfriend.

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