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Hubby And Dieting Vent

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GAH! I'm getting SO tired of having no support from hubby for my diet. I've been trying for the past several months to switch to healthy, simple, wholesome foods. I'm not going crazy with diet pills and laxatives or anything. Just a lifestyle change to truely eat healthier. Chicken, fish, whole grains, fruits and veggies, natural snacks, less sugar, lower sodium, organic when possible, etc. Hubby is very unsupportive of the "junk" that I put in my body. He says that EVERYTHING is healthy and that food has no impact on how healthy you are. I'm not making this up. He says to eat what tastes good. For example, my lunch for the day:

Whole wheat Garden Spinach wrap (1) with:

Low-fat Cajun Turkey Breast (2 slices) (sliced in deli)

Low-fat White American Cheese (2 slices) (sliced in deli)

Fresh Leaf Lettuce (3 large pieces)

No dressing

His lunch:

Quesadillas- chicken and cheese- frozen 21% daily sodium each... he had 2. Calories and fat through the roof.

Half a bag of TGIF chips (big multiple serving bag)

A pack of 10 vitamins, antioxidants, etc (one pack a day) because he never "feels good" and "always tired".

He kept trying to get me to try his Q and chips talking about how good they are. "Put up the rabbit food and try this." Shoving chips in my face. Yes, they taste good. He knows I have no will-power. I eat one and I want the whole bag. That's why I AVOID them. No, I don't want to try just one.

He tells me I'm killing myself because I don't give my body what it needs. I eat a well-balanced diet, drink a lot of water, work with horses (lots of walking and exercise), no alcohol, no smoking (anymore), and take a daily multi-vitamin to fill in any wholes. He never drinks water (says it makes him feel sick), the only thing that he will drink is soda. He says that my body needs caffiene and that's why I'm tired all of the time. No, I'm tired all of the time because I'm 100lbs overweight from pregnancy, delivery, and post-partum complications from 2 years ago. That's why I'm going through a life-style change. Geez... men!

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Hubby thought the same way - until he suddenly suffered a heart attack and had to have 2 stents put into of coronary arteries at the age of 49! One artery was 99% blocked. He nearly died. Now a few years later, thank goodness his mind set is the complete opposite of the way it was. Healthy eating only.

Edited by NCStormchaser

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It's hard to diet with unsupportive people living in the same house. I tried to diet with a roommate and that did NOT work. She is no longer living with me so I should try the diet again, but we will see. I just need to get back in the right mindset first.

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR DIET!

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I tell my hubby that Im going on a diet and he buys me a 24 pack of MTN dew and a king size candy bar....Not a seafood diet dang it..

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call the nutritionist on staff at your local hospital and ask them to recommend a good book on general nutrition for your husband to read.

Lay down the law & tell him you don't give him grief about the way he eats & he has no reason to give you grief about the way you eat. Stick to your guns.

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call the nutritionist on staff at your local hospital and ask them to recommend a good book on general nutrition for your husband to read.

Lay down the law & tell him you don't give him grief about the way he eats & he has no reason to give you grief about the way you eat. Stick to your guns.

Exactly!!

You are just going to have to do what you want to. Don't buy him his stuff, if he wants crap to eat, he can buy it. He'll catch on, and when you're looking fabulous and feeling great, he'll change his ways. You can't make him eat like you, but you can help yourself.

You'll go crazy if you try to get him to eat what you want him to eat. I learned that with hubby and diet coke. I hate that he drinks so much of it, but it's his choice, not a darn thing I can do about it.

If he tries to get you to eat his chips, just say "no thank you" and move on. :)

Good luck and keep it up!!!

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I have the problem with my Hubby trying to get him to eat healthier. You would think after having a heart attack and surgery at age 40 and his father passing away from one at 46, he would be worried.

Nope, he has gained over 60 lbs and now smokes little cigars, and has never went back to a doctor since his surgery.

My advice to you is, DO it for YOURSELF. You are the one that will see and feel the effects of eating healthy. You can't make anyone else do it, or support you if they don't want to.

Good luck and just keep trying, for yourself. :yahoo:

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Do you think he might be trying to sabotage your efforts to lose weight? Is he overweight or self conscious about his appearance or body? Partners can get kinda wonky when it comes to their significant other making life style changes. Could he be feeling threatened and jealous by your attempts to create a healthier life for yourself?

Maybe he's worried you'll lose weight and start being eye candy for other men.

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My DH is the same way. I think he just doesn't understand. He eats like crap and eats a ton but never gains a pound so he doesn't see the issue. Well because he was spending so much on the junk food he always wanted to eat I took over the shopping. I only buy healthier foods and don't stock the house with anything else. He's quickly coming around to it. I do let him have one junk night per week and one junky lunch. He can eat whatever he wants at those times. We've been working on cutting back his soda intake. I've never allowed it in the house but he drinks it at work and I can't be there to stop him.

Try making food for your hubby that is a healthy spin-off of what he usually eats. If he likes chicken quesadillas buy some whole wheat tortillas, cook the chicken in a healthy way, and then use low-fat cheese. If he likes cheeseburgers, try turkey burgers on whole wheat buns.

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Just make sure his life insurance is paid up and continue to take care of yourself. You can love them but you can't make them love themselves (even if they say they do.)

A big ditto!

LoveMyDog also hit it on the nose with......."Maybe he's worried you'll lose weight and start being eye candy for other men."

People(especially men) are afraid of their SO changing or out growing them and leaving them behind.

They like the comfort of a familiar look or behavior from their SO. That is why they sabotage diets,pick fights, bring liquor or cigarettes home or insist that they go to places like bar where people are drinking and smoking when their SO tries to quit or change.

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Do you think he might be trying to sabotage your efforts to lose weight? Is he overweight or self conscious about his appearance or body? Partners can get kinda wonky when it comes to their significant other making life style changes. Could he be feeling threatened and jealous by your attempts to create a healthier life for yourself?

Maybe he's worried you'll lose weight and start being eye candy for other men.

When I first started to lose weight a while back, when I first lost my 60 pounds, my husband got... he was acting kind of jerkish to me at times. It's hard to explain, he was not overtly trying to sabotage my weight loss but he was doing little things that just were obnoxious. Looking back I realized that every time I had tried to lose weight he would do the same thing.

Normally I would have called him on it, but instead i just let him work through it on his own and when he would be a crabby pants i would just tell him to knock it off and go back to focusing on getting myself where I needed to be to keep on the program. About 10 pounds into my weight loss he discovered that there are benefits to him for supporting my weightloss and he hasn't been weird about it since.

The thing is, for me at least, I have to live in a world surrounded by people with horrid eating habits. i HAVE to have self control. i can not expect those around me to change their habits because of my issues. My husband now wants to micromanage everyone around me so they don't sabotage me and I have to remind him that MY weight issues are no one else's responsibility but my own. If I can't say no to someone that is my issue, not theirs.

HOWEVER... there is a difference between offering someone some of your junk food and overtly taunting someone with something they can't have and trying to force them into taking it. That crosses over from "not being very supportive" to "being a jerk who is intentionally trying to sabotage your weightloss success". One is thoughtless but well meaning, the other is just plain mean. i wonder, is he kind of petty and mean in other areas of your relationship? Is he a control freak?

My MIL had a habit at one point of really taunting me with food, and finally i said, "Why do you CARE what I eat? Why is it so important to you that I eat that custard donut? Does it hurt YOU in any way if I do not eat it? Why do you have such a strong emotional investment in MY diet that you would continue to pester me about it after I have said no thank you repeatedly? because your emphasis on what I eat seems really unhealthy."

She got mad. Then she got defensive. Then she stopped talking to me for a day. Then she apologized and admitted it was her own weight issues that were bothering her and she was acting out because of them.

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