kaylinmcanany

How Long Did It Take For You?

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I bought this gelding about a month to a month and a half ago. Due to the weather and my boyfriends mare being crabby i have not ridden him that much, but am down there at least 4 days a week to see him and say hi. I really want to feel a deeper connection with him than i do now. I was just wondering how long it took all of you to feel the connection you wanted with a new horse? :questionicon:

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There is really no set answer to this. Different horses, different people, different personalities. The more you do with your new horse, the more he will begin to trust you and look to you as his leader, and you will begin to feel the connection. It can't be forced.

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Agree with colspal, 100%! In order to bond you must interact, so start there.

I just sent on to a new home a filly I just could not find a connection to. Sometimes it just doesn't happen. But you owe it to yourself and your horse to give it a good try. Ride, groom, do groundwork, see how it goes.

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Depends on the horse and how much quality time you spend developing your leadership role with the horse. Sometimes fairly quickly, and sometimes it takes a while.

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My first horse Danny took a good 4-6 months before I felt like he even liked me. Mostly I felt like he thought I was an annoyance. He was a lazy horse and I always was asking him to do things. By the time I had to leave him in CA 4 years after I met him he knew my car and would stand at the gate waiting for me to take him out every time I drove up. I think he liked me in the end :mecry:

My next horse, Tippe,r I got when he was a yearling and did all the ground work and training. I think because of his age he bonded to me quickly. Now he is my best bud and I do feel a great connection to him.

I would say groundwork and just hand walking and feeding are the best ways to get to a horses heart. Try to spend a lot of time with him. It will come. It just takes time and for some horses, it takes more then others. Depending on the horses, age he may have been threw a few owners so it may be hard for him to register that you are now a permanent part of his life. Just give it time.

I do think generally, it does take older horses longer depending on their personality.

Grace

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My yearling Prada it took me atleast 4 months to gain her trust.. ever since then shes been perfect for me and things just get better and better with her. Just like people, there is no 2 horses a like.

So give it time, keep working with him and he will come around!

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I connected with Prince within two weeks (he was 7 months), about three months with Sunny (she was 9 years). It took me about six months with Gracie (she was 10 years) however Gracie is a LOT hotter than either Sunny or Prince, and I think that has a good bit to do with it. That and Prince was an "only child" when I got him so I really was his only companion, didn't have a job at the point so I was always with him. Sunny was really Mom's horse so I didn't spend as much time with her, plus I did have a job at that point. Gracie, well, she wasn't originally supposed to be mine, just a loaner, but I knew deep down once she arrived at my farm she wasn't leaving. :D It really just depends on the horse and how much time you can spend with them.

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8 months to click with my mare, Penny. She wanted to see if I was worth her time and trust. Once the lightbulb went off, I had her heart.

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Riley i'm still working on getting the connection,i've only had him for 1 month. But we are getting there!

Beau I had the connection within the first 2 weeks. He just needed 1 person who primarily cared for him to connect with,he had been passed around person to person.

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Pilot and I clicked automatically. Lego and I still haven't clicked but he is still a great horse. Lego just doesn't seem to care about attention, just food and belly rubs. Pilot is the horse that will come running when he sees me. Him and I play and fight together, it's hilarious. Lego is just there... It bothers me that he is so distant from human attention, but still, he's a good horse.

Edited by JumpinJax

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I really liked Jet within about a month, and she has always been really wonderful, but I think it was a year or two before I really appreciated how wonderful she is. Of course, Jess was born to us, so that's a given. Jula? I like her and appreciate her, but she isn't mine in the way the others are. Our pony, Polly, is one I cherish because she made my son into a horse person.

Now that we are fostering rescues, I plan to foster horses that I don't just "click" with, since I do NOT need another horse.

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When I met Daniel he was a trade and re-sale type project.. he was 14.1hh and i was told he was supposed to be 5.. well after a few baby teeth (proved he was closer to 3.5 than 5), and some growth and a good diet, He proved on each and every trail rid how adaptable he was to anything I threw at him.. then he just sort of clicked one day, I wasn't expecting it, just happened.. I have had him 5 years now as of April, and I wouldn't trade him for the world, I guess it was midsummer that i realized I wouldn't find another horse like him.. My Mom thinks he grew to meet my needs physically, not too tall, 15.3hh and now stocky enough to fill my leg up pretty good!

I guess it really depends, My young friend who learned to have some confidence riding Daniel didn't "Click" with her mare her parents and grandparent had gotten her a few years prior, she felt a need to continue owning and trying to work with the mare for a few years, but she only got more and more afraid of the mare.. Finally myself and her family played sneaky and introduced her to a mare she was going to help me "Train" since she was such a small stature compared to myself.. Anyway she ended up purchasing the mare, Learning to walk, trot, and canter, with her and has since moved up to a new trainer, and is looking forward to her first real Arab show in February! I am soo proud of her, she has had her mare now for just under a year, when prior she was scared, and wouldn't do more than a walk.. it took her about 3 weeks to connect with the new mare, and her trainer KNOWS that mare KNOWS this young lady is her human.. and she shows it, she is a handful for the trainer, as soon as my young friend get on, she is all together a different horse!

Sometimes it happens over time, Sometimes it never happens.. BTW the old mare, was sold to a young family, this mare who would crow hop, shake and toss her head and make my young friend more scared is the perfect angel for these people, she is affectionate with them, and she does anything they ask, seems she finally found her family too!

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Give it time. I have a now yearling colt that I got in November, he was unhandled and didnt trust anyone. If you had to do anything with him, it took 20 minutes to get his halter on him in a stall, and if you were worming him, you might as well expect lots of rearing.

Just yesterday he willingly let me pet him, and scratch him under his mane. He was rubbing his muzzle on the chest of my jacket. Hopefully this is the start of a good thing.

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When I went to buy my dun....I was ONLY going to buy him. The Pepper had other ideas.

My little grade sorrel followed me all over that farm. When I stepped into his pasture to look at the others horses there,

he walked up and put his head over my shoulder and sighed.

How could I not bring him home too!? They both came home with me that day.

You just never know how it will go. The dun only likes me because I feed......he really prefers DH. :winking:

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I agree with what everyone said here. I had one gelding that took about a year to really bond with. We had a few shaky experiences on our first few outings and I think he had some issues with previous owners that effected him. My two more recent horses I've bonded with almost right away ... about a month or two. But I also made a VERY big effort to spend lots of time with them and take a lot of effort to make my actions with them very precise and develop a routine. I've now had my gelding 4 years and we tend to take advantage of each other since we know each other so well now. He's spoiled rotten. :happy0203: He's also right in my back yard so that makes a big difference.

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I agree with the other posters, sometimes it happens quickly, sometimes not at all and sometimes it happens and then goes away. That is what happened to me and a mare I had. My life changed (had a daughter) but her attitude didn't. I got tired of feeling like it was a battle all the time with her that I fell out of connection with her. I equated it to divorcing her. In the end, I found someone who would care for her and love her and felt that was the best thing for the both of us. I then found Chip, my new guy and while it took nearly 6 months, I'd say we've connected, trust and try for each other.

On the other hand, we got a new gelding, who is certainly more reserved and unwilling to try yet, which has kept us from connecting more. But I hope in time he'll break down some of those walls and we can get to trusting each other more.

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I bet once you start to ride him more you will feel a deeper connection. I know it is that way for me, I can spend alot of time on the ground with a new horse, but its those moments under saddle that establish trust and understanding between the two of you.

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My mom bought an Arab gelding that I instantly clicked with. He had to be put down, and I bought a paint mare that was a step up or 3 from him. BUT, they were completely opposite. I thought she was the most stupid, evil horse on the planet. Then I realized she's a mare, and not stupid but learns differently. She's now my heart and soul... But it took over a year.

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I agree with the different people and horses thing, but don't worry. It took me two. Years. And when I first started riding him I couldn't even get him to start walking. No joke. Now we are perfect together.

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