Brandy Deffes

How Would You Proceed?

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Long story, hopefully I don't ramble.

My dear hubby has never been around horses until recently when I purchased my paint Jaeger. At first, it was "my thing", his was golf. I don't think he realized the connection that can be established. Well, he fell in love with Jaeger, to the point of him wanting to take riding lessons and entertaining the thought of a second horse (DIL rides so it wouldn't be "just" for him.) Now, here is my dilemma: I can't get him on the thought process of a horse is not a dog! :bang_head:

I am trying to "correct" (sometimes in a bite the tongue voice) some of his horse=dog mentality.

Now, granted I am soft at heart when it comes to my Jaeger, but I won't put up with his acting up without correction. DH wants to pet and love on him and accepts bad behavior as "that is his personality". I have been giving him pointers (OK, so he really doesn't consider them pointers!) but yet the 1000 pound dog thinking hasn't gone away.

I will give DH mucho kudos for wanting to learn and become completely involved, but how would you mold or change the mind set? He will be taking riding lessons in a few months, and I know he will be exposed to horses with a different perspective (TPL is a great teacher). Maybe he should take lessons NOW. :happy0203:

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EVEN if it was a dog I STILL wouldn't put up with bad behavior! Maybe riding lessons would be good for him, make them start with the basics and teach some basic horse manners.

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I'm sorry but I have to LOL about this. My SO has zero experience with horses and has been talking about getting horses when we buy a house/land. He has the same thought process that he can treat a horse like a dog and he wants a stallion because they look pretty:thud:

Luckily I have several years to educate him on why that's a bad idea and I will not tolerate a stallion in my barn with an unexperienced owner/handler. I've handled/ridden stallions in the past but it's been years since I've done more than the occassional trail ride. So even though I have had limited experience I know my limits.

Hopefully you can intervene before your hubby ends up injured.

Edited by Sol

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Lessons now would be good. Often it's much easier to take direction from a person in a position of authority than to take direction from a SO when learning new skills- even when the SO is perfectly capable of doing it. It's silly, but true often enough.

Get him going on lessons now before he develops a bunch of bad habits he'd then have to change. Changing established bad habits is much harder than working with a relatively clean slate!

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With my husband, I'm a big believer in showing him the correct path, giving him the option of taking my advice or not and then laughing while I tell him "I told you so" later. Now of course, this is while being fairly certain he own't be permanently injured. A few times getting stepped on or a few cases of rope burn from the horse giving him the finger never really hurt anyone.

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With my husband, I'm a big believer in showing him the correct path, giving him the option of taking my advice or not and then laughing while I tell him "I told you so" later. Now of course, this is while being fairly certain he own't be permanently injured. A few times getting stepped on or a few cases of rope burn from the horse giving him the finger never really hurt anyone.

Just had one of those moments not too long ago....he no longer wears flip flops around the barn or horses. When Jaeger stepped on him, he caught the "Yep, didn't tell you so" look!

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I completely embrace his willingness and eagerness to be involved. Very grateful to be honest-it sure does make horse ownership easier, not to mention I get to spend more time with him. I should clarify the "dog" mentality...I don't think he appreciates just the shear size, weight, mentality of a horse.

We have a two hour drive ahead of us today, so I am taking all of y'alls advice and use that tome to convince him to start lessons NOW. If that doesn't work, we have a two hour ride back... The good Lord didn't bless women with the gift of gab for nothing!

As always, thank you so much for your input! :notworthy:

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While I definitely wouldn't let a dog OR a horse walk all over me or get away with bad behavior... There is at least one big difference in how these animals are approached. Dogs are predators. Horses are flight animals.

And yes on lessons. Good luck! Maybe you can approach lessons as a way to decide what type of riding he likes best...

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I'm a meanie.

I let my husband get stepped on (he has a BAD BAD BAD habit of going outside without shoes). Then I told him it served him right.

I also showed him the video of the stallion on Buck - the one that tried very hard to kill a man.

I showed him some other ugly videos/pictures of what happens when you are unsafe around the horses.

He was MUCH more willing to listen about handling the horses properly after that.

:smilie:

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Yeah, let em' learn on their own if he doesn't want to listen! Luckily my husband is a farm boy and shows cattle and hogs...been awhile since I've had to "teach" him anything. I guess thats a good thing!br

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