Ivory Annie

General Lack Of Discipline

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Now I'm not going into what type of discipline you use, but the fact that more and more children I see these days have no discipline at all,.working as a preschool teacher I get up close and personal with other peoples kids. And I'm constantly amazed at how these children act. I remember growing up when an adult told you to do something, you did it, no question asked.....these days I get told no, I don't want to, I don't have to, you can't make me....now these are children between the ages of 3 and 5......i have to come up with ways to get them through the day without beating each other up, and to talk to the parents is like talking to the wall, some, a select few actually listen and we work in ways together to get the child on track, I've had others shrug there shoulders and walk away while others have told me "yeah they don't listen at home either, nothing I can do about it" it saddens me that these children aren't being giVen any guidance at home and to see some of these older brother and sisters its plain to see where they are headed..and its not just at work. Kids running around stores and other public places out of control.....where has society gone that most children I see have no respect towards others, and its few and far between that I see a child behaving like they should....

I'm scared that these are our future drs, government officials, and just our future in general

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I am a firm believer in spanking my child. I hate going into walmart and seeing children railroading parents and cursing them. If I would have done any of that to my parents I wouldn't be able to sit for a week and i'd probably have a nice set of dentures.

The worst ones are the kids that run around the stores then decide they want something and mom or dad says no and the child acts like his whole world is destroyed.

My child does not run around the store and he def does not throw a ring tailed fit for not getting something. I guess I'm a "bad" parent because if he acts a fool then I will bust his butt I don't care if it is in the store,the car, or at home.

If somebody wants to call abuse let them sorry I don't want my kid to end up in prison because somebody didn't give him his way so he did something dumb.

My parents spanked us and I feel like we turned out fine. My brother owns a $200,000 home and drives new vehicles. I own my home and drive decent vehicles and my little sister is in college going to be a P.A. All of our bills are paid early and we live very comfortably.

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I have nothing against spanking done properly. However, it's rarely necessary if parents get off their butts, take physical hold of young child, look them in the eye and INSIST they pay attention. I know, lot of effort required there, right? :rolleye0014:

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We have a mother who will stand there for almost a half hour trying to convince there four year old its time to go home. It usually ends in me picking child up physically handing him to the mother and basically forcing them out the door.....

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My boss was telling me a story the other day about her young niece. She was arguing with her mother and being a brat, and her mom told her she was going to get a spanking. Little girl told her mom she was going to call 911. Mama said, "Well you better tell them to send an ambulance, because I am going to tear you up!"

Apparently she had a lovely quiet child immediately after she followed through on the spanking threat. Lol. Good for her.

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Right on the money Oz! I don't think kids need whoopings for everything but there are some parents out there that need thier butts beat too as far as im concerned. Lol. Major offences need spanking minor stuff I agree talk to the kid.

The other thing I hate is parents that do nothing but yell and scream at thier kids. It burns me up.

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Society is degenerating on a whole. This may be on account of our being open to so many hairbrained ways of thinking including the lack of respect for anyone in authority. I listened to some so-called behavior consultant advocate letting a child do absolutely anything he wants. This guy's kid, understandably, is banned by two airlines because of his kid's behavior. No daycare will take him. His father will run him every where at the drop of a hat to get whatever he wants. I heard some psychologist tell the school board that no school should give homework, afterall, his kid's parents do not send their laundry to school. I would have liked to ask this guy if he himself would have been prepared for college without having homework in high school.

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I used to volunteer at my younger cousin's elementary school when I lived with my aunt and uncle in southern California.

There were three out of control sons of a psychologist who had flat out told the prior principal that "No one was allowed to punish or tell his kids -NO- or use any other negative verbiage when talking to his children since it would destroy their sense of freedom."

The next year the new principal told the teachers to treat the little brats like any other child and if the father complained, he would be more that happy to back the up the teachers.

On the second day of school all of the boys were in the principal's office. He called the father and told him that all of the boys were suspended and to come pick them up.

The father had opened an office at his home and his wife was away, so he had all of them at home with him.

Two weeks later some much nicer children came to school with their father who advised the principal that he could if necessary, spank his sons. :rotf:

I was helping in the kindergarten class and had only known the youngest one. There were some problems until the teacher had me walk him into the principal's office 1 time. After that, a judicious reminder that he could "Go visit the principal" was enough to bring around an entirely different attitude.

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Oh Lord.

You know, so many psychologists advise against spanking- but where has that gotten us? Kids, when spanking was allowed and was used often, were polite little seedlings who didn't talk back to anyone older than themselves and most certainly weren't frightened.

Now your not allowed to spank and we got 5 year olds hitting their mother's in their face at the grocery store...among other various negative things they are doing nowadays.

Tear their ***** up if they are disrespectful little twits. It works.

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My boss was telling me a story the other day about her young niece. She was arguing with her mother and being a brat, and her mom told her she was going to get a spanking. Little girl told her mom she was going to call 911. Mama said, "Well you better tell them to send an ambulance, because I am going to tear you up!"

Apparently she had a lovely quiet child immediately after she followed through on the spanking threat. Lol. Good for her.

:D

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Ivory Anne.

I might be the type to read into stuff... but if the kid doesn't want to go home...someone at home might be his real reason why he tries to stay.

Keep it on your radar and listen to his reasons why and watch him. Sometimes behavior ( acting out)has other motives besides bad parenting.

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My boys tried the I am gonna call police thing too.

I called for him. I asked the officer in front of the boy if spanking is illegal.

He said no only abuse is.

I asked him to stand right there while I deliver this child with the smart mouth a spanking.

That was the end of those threats. None of the others choose to try it, either.

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I spanked my grandkids (we raised all 5 of them). We had a paddle engraved with "Final Word". After the first few times it was applied, all we needed to do was ask if we needed to get "Final Word". Instant obedience. They also knew to behave in the store, at church or any where they were taken. Only took one trip to the car or the restroom to make them see the error of their ways. The school also knew they had permission to bust rears if necessary. No, they are not perfect. But they do know how to say please, thank you, yes, sir, no sir and to hold doors for their elders. They were also taught table manners, not that they always use them!They youngest 2 are 17 now and all I have to say if they get out of line verbally is "Who do you think you are talking to?" They also know if they get in trouble at school, when they get home they will be in trouble again. Yes, it takes a lot of time and effort but it sure is worth it in the long run!

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Spanking is not beating. There is a HUGE difference.

I spanked both of my kids. Not very often either. They are both well mannered, and polite.

Once, when my son was 3, we were in a resturant and a complete stranger walked up and complimented us on my childrens behavior and how well they listened.

My sister in law, on the other hand, had her 4 year old punch her in the stomach because he wanted to go home. I about beat the tar outta that child. And even today at almost 20, he is still a smart mouthed obnoxious brat!

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Ivory Anne.

I might be the type to read into stuff... but if the kid doesn't want to go home...someone at home might be his real reason why he tries to stay.

Keep it on your radar and listen to his reasons why and watch him. Sometimes behavior ( acting out)has other motives besides bad parenting.

Lol no its bc at the end of the day when our number is low we combine onto the school age room and they are usually playing the wii and he wants to stand there and watch

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Lol I don't really remember ever getting spanked, but I do know that I knew one wrong move and the wooden spoon was coming out....

Well I also hada mother ask me yesterday why her three.year old doesn't know his alphabet yet.....i about lost it, maybe its bc.he just came to my class, we just started at the beg. Of the alphabet and maybe his mother should help him at home also....but no that would require actual PARENTING that these days has gone the way of the covered wagons and penny candy....to "old fashioned" for people these days....

It just Burns me up to see how the teenagers/children these days act and scares me bc they are going to be our future and I'm not sure our country will survive a bunch of UN disciplined, "i can do what I want" grown adults who throw tantrums when told no or they don't get there way....

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My boss was telling me a story the other day about her young niece. She was arguing with her mother and being a brat, and her mom told her she was going to get a spanking. Little girl told her mom she was going to call 911. Mama said, "Well you better tell them to send an ambulance, because I am going to tear you up!"

Apparently she had a lovely quiet child immediately after she followed through on the spanking threat. Lol. Good for her.

Reminds me of Russell Peters bit "Somebody Gonna Get a Hurt Real Bad" where he tries to tell his dad he's going to call Childrens' Aid on him and his dad tells him "It's going to take them 23 minutes to get here and in that time, somebody gonna get a hurt real bad!"

Video (warning: some strong language)

I'm so sick and tired of bratty kids because they grow up to be bratty teenagers and then they grow up to be total jerks as adults. I sit and have lunch in the same area almost every day and there's always the same kids there who will run up to where I'm sitting and steal my keys, steal my phone, try to ram a stroller into me, scream, cry, try to touch me after they've had their fingers in their mouth and nose, etc. Where are their parents? Who knows! Off chatting it up with some other ignorant parent while their little angel "explores the world." Screw that. I know a LOT of people with kids and I know it's possible to have well behaved children at every age. Sure, they all have their moments, but it's how you deal with them in those moments that changes how they act every other day.

I remember shopping with my family when I was younger and if my brothers and I started to fight, misbehave or even SIGH out of boredom, my mother would drop everything she had and haul us off to the car - all while giving us an earful about not being able to behave in public. I remember when "go sit in the car" was a real threat and not just empty words. Parents say so much garbage to their kids these days and the kids know they're bluffing. If you're going to count to three or make a threat, you darn well better follow through with something big so that brat doesn't try it again.

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Obviously, I'm the oddball. We weren't spanked, I didn't spank my kids, and I just asked both of my boys (22 today and 13) if they would spank their kids, and they both answered no. The thing is spanking does not equal discipline. My boys know our rules and abide by them. Any infringements on those rules have equaled real and lasting consequences. A spanking is over and done with, while added chores and lost privileges last. I think spanking is the lazy parent's response to misbehavior; it requires very little of the spanker (or spankee, for that matter). Enforcing punishments that last days, weeks, or even months is a whole lot more work for the parent. I can remember one time when my older son was about nine, and he said, "Why can't you just spank me and get it over with like the other parents do?".

My older son has had the same job since he was 15 years old, has been self-supporting since he was 17, and is a senior in college. The younger one is a straight A student, taking two high school clases now in 8th grade, a brilliant athlete, and probably the most thoughtful person to ever walk this earth. Because my kids are so large (the 13 year old is about 6'4"), encouraging a physical response to anger/disappointment/whatever is just a horrible idea. My ability to physically enforce discipline would have ended very early on with them (although my 6'6" 275 lb husband can still take them both, lol), so I am glad that I never depended upon my physical superiority to parent.

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Katyb How did you disipline your children when they where younger like 2-3 yr olds?

If I told my son he gets extra chores he would be excited because he loves to "help" mommy.

He also wouldn't really understand takes things away. We have tried that when he throws his toys and such.

He does however respond to " If you throw you toy again you will get a spankin." If he decides to do it he gets spanked and doesn't repeat the offense again for a while. I don't think long term punishment in right in all instances.

Kinda like potty training a puppy. If it has an accident you don't lock it outside for a week or lock it in a kennel for and endless amount of time. You disipline clean it up and move on with your day.

I may be totally off on that too but was just kind of curious. I am by no means a perfect parent and am not saying my way is the only way. Just looking to enlighten myself on other ways to do things.

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I will admit that I have been very fortunate to have easy kids. Is that great parenting, genetics, good luck? Who knows? When they were 2-3, I explained how what they did was wrong. Throw a toy? It's mine for now. Hit somebody? Time-out and apology. Do it again? You won't be playing with them anytime soon. My boys were both verbal very early, which made things easier. I don't understand how hitting stops violence? You threw a toy and it hurt me (or the toy, whatever), so I'll smack you back? How does that make sense? You really have to figure out what consequence affects your child, and go with that. With my 13-year-old now, it's skateboarding and the girlfriend. When he was 11, it was x-box or his atv. Again, my boys have been so easy (knocking wood, they aren't done yet!), that I haven't had my theories challenged a lot, I'll admit that, but they certainly have been better behaved than any of the kids I see getting spanked.

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I'm not a bio parent. I'm a step parent. And I came upon the scene with two pre-teen girls who had had virtually nothing expected of them. They are GOOD KIDS. But they didn't even know how to use a broom, clean their own rooms, do homework on their own,nothing. And if a parent told them to do something, it was typical that they would just ignore the request until a parent blew up.

After 2 years, they now offer to help set the table, have weekly chores, do things when asked the first time, and do a lot on their own. But for a long time, they lived like guests in a hotel. Personally, I think the biggest reason for this was parental guilt due to divorce. Nobody wanted to be the bad guy. I'm fine w/ being the bad guy and we have a great relationship in spite of the fact that I have very high standards for the girls who are now 14 and almost 13. Again, GREAT KIDS. They just didn't have the boundaries and expectations in place.

I don't condone treating kids like unpaid hired help/slave labor, but I do think that if we want to have responsible citizen adults, we have to set the stage early.

To me, that includes a certain amount of respect for authority. I was literally "beaten" as a child for even minor infractions. I don't believe in that. We don't have to hit the kids or even yell to get things done. It a matter of follow through here. If I ask for something to be done and it isn't jumped on, I get involved directly and make it happen. There has never been a threat of physical response. Not even grounding. I don't bother with either. I don't have the stroke anyway since I'm not the mom.

Instead, if I ask for something to be done and it's not, I treat them like little kids and micromanage the ever loving snot out of the deal. It's kind of fun actually. :) And I don't do it twice. So it seems to work.

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Sounds like that are some good kids out there still! No matter how you get there, spanking or not, follow through is very important. If you tell a child you will take the toy away if he throws it again, you better do it! Most kids do better with understood rules and consequences for actions. This also applies when they do something good.

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I dont think there is just one right way just as there isnt one right way to train a horse or a dog or anything else.

I think some parents can employ spanking correctly, without anger and be very, very effective parents. Usually IMO spanking is best used with other methods also however and not as the only method. Others can never ever spank, use alternative methods and also be very effective.

The thing is, both also can be complete and utter failures producing horrible children who have little respect when not employed correctly too. Spanking, taking things away..... all just tools that work in the right hands and dont work in the wrong ones.

As with everything in life, it depends.

Edited by Trinity

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Many people are afraid to spank. Know the laws in your state. The key to spanking is really doing it without anger and knowing your child. How the child reacts should determine whether or not it is an appropriate punishment for that child at that particular developmental age.

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When we got the kids, boys(10,5,4) and the girls(9 & 4), one of the men who works with my husband made Final Word for us. Final Word was employed when all else failed. They are now 25(married with a child of his own and gainfully employed), 24 (with a daughter of her own also gainfully employed), 18 (in the National Guard) and the twins are now 17 and in high school. All good kids for the most part.

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If I would have done any of that to my parents I wouldn't be able to sit for a week and i'd probably have a nice set of dentures.

I'm rather appalled that this is being said like it's a GOOD thing. Because this-

Spanking is not beating. There is a HUGE difference.

Spanking is one thing. Having fear that your parents will physically discipline you to an extent that you could be missing teeth at the end? That's beating, and neither the action itself, nor the threat of the action, is acceptable in my book.

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I say that not literally. My parents never beat us. I remember 3 spankings from my childhood.

I am a very sarcastic person who makes lots of people laugh. Sometimes I forget that when you read type or messages that you can't hear the tone which the thought was processed.

I by NO means supporting abuse of children and 100% believe there is a differance between spanking and abuse.

I apologize for the mis communication there guys. That was a type before brain thought it through moment.

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