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Melanie

Reccuring Dreams About My Horse That Passed Away, Thoughts?

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My horse, Tag, passed away nearly 3 years ago from colic. Obviously I was very devastated over it, he was my first horse, I had come upon him when he was only a year and devoted all my time and money to him.

About a year after he passed I had a dream that I went to the barn and found him in his paddock. He was sickly skinny, all his ribs were sticking out like a rescue horse. In my dream I was totally mortified to find him this way and began beating myself up for neglecting my horse. In the dream there was another horse that someone found dead in its paddock (that's how we found Tag), but it wasn't Tag. At no point in my dream did I ever have a thought like "well this is ridiculous, Tag passed away, I never neglected him." The entire dream I was beating myself up and telling myself I was a bad horse owner instead.

Through the years I've had dreams where I've seen him and every single dream I always think to myself "Gee, it's been so long since I've ridden him. I must be so busy with work, it feels like I haven't seen this horse in so long."

Last night I had another dream about him. We were at a horse show and I was trying to get him ready for a dressage test. His mane was long and knotted and he was totally out of shape. Again, my dream self started thinking "what's wrong with you? You've totally neglected your horse, you haven't been riding him, he's way too out of shape to be at a show. You've spent all your time riding Oliver (my other horse) and neglected Tag. It's like you haven't seen him in years!" I'm always totally confused in my dreams as to why it seems like forever since I've seen him. I woke up feeling confused and it took me a minute to sort it out before I started to cry and realizing everything all over again.

I just don't know why I'm having these dreams. It's like a part of me doesn't accept that he's passed away. I still miss him all the time, I even catch myself wanting to call my other horse "Tag" from time to time. When he died we had a postmortem done on him and they said he passed very quickly from colic, even if someone had been there, there would have been little chance to save him. For months I racked my brain and blamed myself for every little thing before slowly trying to accept that there really wasn't anything I could have done. He was prone to colic, he'd colicked several times in his life and because of that I monitored everything he ate and drank, but I finally accepted that despite all that we did it was just his time to go.

I'm curious if anyone has any thoughts on what these dreams mean? They're really upsetting to me. I love to see him in my dreams, but it hurts me when my "dream self" thinks that I've neglected him and I see him in poor conditions. Does anyone else get these dreams about their horses/pets that have passed?

:(

Edited by Taglet

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I feel you on the unwelcome dreams. Lately I've been dreaming about being kidnapped or raped or some other such craziness and it's not fun. (I have a scary ex boyfriend as well as I've been reading way too much about Jaycee Dugard and stuff...) Your brain is just working out what you can't handle during the day in regular thought. The littlest thing can spark recognition for your dreams and it's not always obvious as to what it is. I've also read that dreaming is your brains way of 'training' you to deal with situations you can't or haven't come across yet.

Your subconscious is a weird little thing innit it?

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I don't know what it means, but I'd like to know as well.

I have scary dreams about my horse Fancy all the time. One time I dreamed she was throwing up (I know they don't throw up) She kept throwing up until she fell over dead. I also had a dream that her jaw dislocated and she was bleeding and I had to put my hand in her mouth to hold her jaw in so that it didn't protrude out of her skin. I had to ride all the way to the vets with my hand like that. I woke up before we got there though. I also have dreamed of finding her dead in the pasture and that birds had pecked her eyes out. It's always something scary and it makes me even more paranoid that something will happen to her!!

My dreams are always so vivid and real but it's stupid unreal things that are happening. Sometimes it doesn't involve my horses but they are always scary/gross.

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I don't know what it means, but I'd like to know as well.

I have scary dreams about my horse Fancy all the time. One time I dreamed she was throwing up (I know they don't throw up) She kept throwing up until she fell over dead. I also had a dream that her jaw dislocated and she was bleeding and I had to put my hand in her mouth to hold her jaw in so that it didn't protrude out of her skin. I had to ride all the way to the vets with my hand like that. I woke up before we got there though. I also have dreamed of finding her dead in the pasture and that birds had pecked her eyes out. It's always something scary and it makes me even more paranoid that something will happen to her!!

My dreams are always so vivid and real but it's stupid unreal things that are happening. Sometimes it doesn't involve my horses but they are always scary/gross.

I have scary gruesome dreams too! Like really vivid horrible things that I'm scared to tell people because they'll think I'm a psychopath! I never watch horror movies, but some of my dreams seem like they could be scenes in one!

MiSSxZURi our subconscious is fascinating! I've always wondered about dreams and try to keep track of mine to see if I can spot patterns, etc. That's so scary that you've had dreams about being kidnapped/raped, I can't imagine waking up after that. My boyfriend sometimes has to wake me up because I'll be shaking or struggling in my sleep due to a dream. He woke me up the other night because I was dreaming I was drowning and he said I was gasping for air in my sleep.

I'm just trying to figure out what my brain is doing to cause these dreams about my horse. I don't know if it's my brain's way of still blaming myself for his death or maybe it's just saying that I should go "see" him. Visit his grave maybe? He's buried at my aunt and uncle's farm, which is close to my stable. I've ridden my mare down to go visit Tag a few times. It makes sense that maybe a part of me is saying I should go visit him, but why he is always neglected/unhealthy in my dreams bothers me. :confused0024:

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I always try to condition myself to dream about what I WANT to dream about. Try falling asleep to something awesome and happy, like a Barbie movie lol. Often times what you thought about last before falling asleep will be at the forefront and you won't see icky dreams.

Also, this is a trick that NEVER fails, in order to weed out your brains' options, tell somebody in person what your dream was right after you have it. I guarantee you'll never have that dream again.

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Every time I dream about one of my deceased pets, I feel they are visiting me and letting me know they are okay.

I *cannot* believe these dreams are your horse visiting you. I do not believe our loved pets would deliberately cause us distress in this manner. This is your subconscious doing ... something ... and I don't know why.

May I make a suggestion?

First, a question: Do you have a highly visible remembrance of Tag that you can see every day? If not, I would urge you to get one. I have a Breyer memorial an artist painted for me of my grade Appy gelding I had for 18yrs and he sits on a shelf where I can see/handle it any time I want. Perhaps if you had something physical, that you could see and touch often, your mind wouldn't be trying to guilt you into thinking of him more.

Okay, that last bit ^^^ didn't come out right, I hope you understand where I was going with it, though.

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Every time I dream about one of my deceased pets, I feel they are visiting me and letting me know they are okay.

I *cannot* believe these dreams are your horse visiting you. I do not believe our loved pets would deliberately cause us distress in this manner. This is your subconscious doing ... something ... and I don't know why.

May I make a suggestion?

First, a question: Do you have a highly visible remembrance of Tag that you can see every day? If not, I would urge you to get one. I have a Breyer memorial an artist painted for me of my grade Appy gelding I had for 18yrs and he sits on a shelf where I can see/handle it any time I want. Perhaps if you had something physical, that you could see and touch often, your mind wouldn't be trying to guilt you into thinking of him more.

Okay, that last bit ^^^ didn't come out right, I hope you understand where I was going with it, though.

Thanks Heidi. I did have a porcelain horse that I painted years ago that looks *somewhat* like him. It would be cool to get a Breyer horse of him! I actually have some locks of his tail that I had cut off after he passed. I've always wanted it made into an item of jewelry so I could always have him with me, but I've never found anything that I've really liked the look of. I'm finally starting to decorate my room in my new place, so I think I should get some pictures of him up on the wall, which might help as well.

Call me crazy (this may be a bit down the rabbit hole) but when he was alive I would have dreams about him all the time. Most of the time they were happy riding dreams, but sometimes I'd see him favouring a leg in my dream and I would know when I woke up that something had happened to him. Rarely was it ever serious, but I would know when I got to the barn his leg would be puffy or have a scratch on it, etc. I had dreams where he would be fighting off people/other horses from me that I interpreted as him taking me away from some of the bad things going on in my life at that time. So, I'm used to dreaming about this horse and knowing that it generally means something, which is why (again) I'm disturbed by these dreams. I know they aren't coming from him, but something is going on that is causing them.

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First off, many hugs. That is tough stuff. As far as the dreams, I am not sure *why* they are happening, but I have my most vivid and odd dreams when I am extra stressed. I once had a dream where my horse was lost in this forest and my friend and I were running through the woods to find him. I accidentally let a tree branch hit her and when I turned around to apologize, her eyes turned to blood and she chased me down to a field filled with llamas, with a beach and a sea filled with hammerhead sharks. I CANNOT figure that one out. But I was going through a pretty tough, stressful time.

Last night I just had a dream that my horse had gutted himself trying to jump a log and my mom had to put him down, but in the dream, she opted to wait TWO YEARS to tell me so I wouldn't be distracted. I had to call her bright and early this morning, I was so shaken. Again, a really stressful time right now.

I try to read a chapter of a sun-shiny book before I go to bed and I try to clear my mind of stressors before I start reading, so I am nice and relaxed. Lowering my stress levels before bed usually gets rid of my most vivid dreams, although I have a recurring tornado dream that happens occasionally no matter what.

As far as Tag being neglected, I would try going to visit him and perhaps making something in memory of him-- a bracelet with his name or tail, a painted grave stone, etc. This may be recently exposed grief that is manifesting itself as a dream.

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You are still (in your subconscious,) trying to beat yourself up for "allowing" him to colic and die. You need to figure out how to give yourself a 'pass' from that, as it obviously was something beyond your control. (((hugs)))

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I don't know what it means, but I'd like to know as well.

I have scary dreams about my horse Fancy all the time. One time I dreamed she was throwing up (I know they don't throw up) She kept throwing up until she fell over dead. I also had a dream that her jaw dislocated and she was bleeding and I had to put my hand in her mouth to hold her jaw in so that it didn't protrude out of her skin. I had to ride all the way to the vets with my hand like that. I woke up before we got there though. I also have dreamed of finding her dead in the pasture and that birds had pecked her eyes out. It's always something scary and it makes me even more paranoid that something will happen to her!!

My dreams are always so vivid and real but it's stupid unreal things that are happening. Sometimes it doesn't involve my horses but they are always scary/gross.

I've had visible proof that horses CAN throw up. But when they do, you have already lost them. Yes, it's bad.

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I'd quit having the VooDoo chile sauce,... I think it's giving you bad dreams.

Or your subconcious telling you to enjoy / ride the horse you now have?

Not a Gypsy or a Dr. , just random thought process.

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Suggestion on what to do with some of the hair. Find someone who does custom dream catchers, that way he is there to catch all your bad dreams. As I am sure he has the speed of the wind to carry them away for you. It will also calm you to know at bedtime he is close.

Only time I have had horse dreams was when I was prego. Red had a mare Daisy that I was interested in buying but timing didn't work. Dang all my dreams for some reason were about Daisy.

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Your current horse and Tag are similarly marked, right? Both are sorrel pintos? I think?

It could be having a similar ISH looking horse is "confusing" your brain or triggering constant memories. Obviously, I'm not recommending you get rid of Oliver! lol.

Dreams are so so weird. I had one last night about living in a floating house out in the middle of the ocean. Someone was trying to rob me, so I whistled for my killer whale, who then disposed of the robber as he tried to swim away. Yesterday, I read an article about orcas in the wild having never attacked humans...that dream was just taking what I read and morphing it into a story for me. My dreams 90% of the time have a theme with stuff I've been reading.

I suggest starting to document your dreams and trying to find a connection with your day-to-day life that explains even the smallest tidbit from a dream. It's easier to shrug a dream off if you can explain away even a little part of it.

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Personally I think you feeling guilty. You never negected him so your subconcious is twisting the facts in your brain that you did.. YOUR IDEA of a neglected horse is starvation, unbrushed, and mangled mane.. you want him alive so you can fix him so your brain killed the other horse in the other paddock.. YOU transfered the death... YOU WANT TO FIX in your brain...you don't except his death..because you never got to say goodbye... Have you made a monument of him yet so you can finalize his death? Look at pictures and smile instead of cry?

At least in my dream where I lost our horse FELLA .. I find him sleeping in his favorite spot and he jumps up and knocks me down because he was horrible with ground manners... FELLA died in his favorite spot in his sleep and I wonder why I never saw his potential heart attack coming.. There were no signs.. In the dreams he also steps on my feet.NOW that wakes a person up!.. He really wasn't that bad..

AD

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I've had dreams like that about my first horse too. It's upsetting, to say the least.

I dreamed once that we gave him away to a lesson barn, but it upset me because he had damage in his knee (What put him out of racing) and they were riding the snot out of him. When I went to visit him, he almost knocked me down trying to get out the gate, and he was so, so sore on his knee...

Another one he'd been sent to a farm, and when I went to see him I felt like I hadn't seen him for years, but I couldn't figure out why. One of the people who worked on the farm told me he was a menace, no one could handle him, the other horses were beating the crap out of him, he hadn't been brought into the barn for a long time because they couldn't catch him. When I went to call him, he came running to me and I started bawling because of how bad he looked, and I hadn't seen him for so long.

Both times I woke up crying like crazy.

I can sympathize, it's so hard having dreams like that. Hugs, lots of hugs

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I've heard that animals in our dreams represent humans.

See if you can "define" Tag... About what he was like, what he represented to you, and about his characteristics. Then think about a human in your life that this represents. Look at your feelings in your dreams (you mentioned feeling mortified about seeing him so neglected... things like that are important).

Also... I happen to take an SSRI, and have INCREDIBLY vivid dreams. I also had them when I was pregnant (I believe it was related to hormones). It's possible your vivid dreams could be medication or hormone related?

I often dream of Lucy, who I was forced to give away by my ex, some years ago. In my dreams she is always her funny, enthusiastic, bombastic, over-the-top, excited self... but she never seems to know me. And I would think, in real life, that Lucy would recognize me no matter how long we were apart.

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Dreams are the way we process our daily lives when we are sleeping.

Tag might represent the actual horse and it might be that your holding on to unnecessary guilt or that you haven't forgiven yourself. Your brain could be forcing you to accept his death and the fact that since your not God you didn't have the power to stop Tag's passing.

Or

Something else is going on in your life that needs your attention and focus. It could be your job, a relationship, your current horse or how your feeling about your life. Something is causing you to feel sadness, frustration, guilt, sorrow, unhappiness, anger, fear and confusion.

You can stop your dreams by saying to the dream character "This is a dream, I know it. I want you to tell me what this means and why I'm dreaming about this problem."

I kept having some really awful dreams and it got to the point that I was afraid to fall asleep. I got some books on dream interpretation and one of them said to take control of your dreams by chasing and capturing what scared you. Then forcing it to give you a gift of understanding and knowledge.

It took a few days of telling myself before bedtime that I would control every dream and I would receive the powerful gift I needed.

When I found out what my subconscious was trying to tell me (the gift) I could make choices or decisions that changed my life.

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This all makes a lot more sense to me now, thanks to everyone who's replied. I'm feeling clearer about it and hopefully I can work towards getting rid of these dreams. I don't know if I could define Tag as someone in my life, but I think he represents my happiness, if that's not too cheesy to say. Lately I've been wearing myself thin, working late, taking on extra work that I don't have time for, etc. I think I'm neglecting myself, to be honest. I've had a few people come up to me and tell me I need to take a day off and treat myself. I tell myself every weekend that I will, but something always comes up. :(

Serah, it's funny because Oliver has a lot of the same personality quirks and little tricks that Tag did, which is why I think I find myself wanting to call him Tag a lot. Dangit! Lol.

Alaskandraft, I planted some flowers on his grave site. I wanted to make something with one of his shoes to put at his grave and then something with his other shoe for me to have at home. Same with making something out of his hair. I have everything I need to put something together and I've always put it off, I think I just don't want to accept it. But I think it's time I put my big girl panties on and at least get some closure.

feeeeline (was that enough e's? Lol) I've always had vivid dreams, ever since I was a kid, I don't think it would be medication induced.

dondie, that sounds really interesting how you managed to control your dream. I've only been successful in doing it once. When I worked as a waitress I used to get really bad nightmares about work, I'd have a hundred tables, all my customers would be angry, I'd be so busy I couldn't keep up, etc. I'd wake up really stressed. I think one of the last times, if not the last time, I had that dream I finally managed to talk to my dream self and say "this isn't really happening, just leave" and I made myself walk out of the restaurant and go for a walk and woke up much happier. I've always been intrigued by being able to control dreams, like I said I have some very vivid dreams and nightmares. I also experience sleep paralysis on a regular basis. It's a wonder I ever willingly go to bed at night! :unsure:

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