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Small time hay

My Heart Is Hurting Friends, Im In Need Of Comfort

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A handful of you may remember me and my fight against Sinitius taking over my older barrel horse. Most of you wont. However all of you know what im going through at this moment and the challenges that will face me in the days and months to come. We have fought long and hard against this ailment using every resource available to combat this enemy. For the last 2 years we were maintaining a happy horse with a hole in his head, he bucked, played and was the goofy guy in the pasture. This morning he gave me that sign we all hear about but never want to see. He's hurting, the time is near. That was the only thought when I saw him this morning.

As I prepare myself for this I find myself wondering how to get though the challenges that await me.

Its not the barrels run or the money gained or even the rush of speed that I will miss.

This is what I'll miss most about my old friend:

The nickers of greeting no matter what the hour, the soft brush of his nose when he knew i'd had a rough day. The gentle way he carried me 9 mths pregnant both times when the cabin fever set in and I felt fat and my feet hurt. The patient way he taught both my little girls to not only ride but love horses.

My story is no different than many of yours but right now my heart is hurting, and I need your confidence to get me though.

I pray that I shall not go to any heaven in which there are no horses.

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So sorry to hear you are losing your friend. You do one day at a time. Sometimes it is only one hour at a time. Hang in there. You will survive. Know you did the best you could for him and did the kindest thing you could. You let him go.

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WOW!! Unfortunately I've been there a few times. Some were planned. Some were a total shock. All hurt like ****. There is no way "to get thru it" without the pain but the pain does ease up and the happy memories take it's place.

I don't know your story but I know how it ends. I'm sorry for what you're going thru but it's good you are deciding what to do that is best for your horse and not your heart. They do get to a point where it is harder to see them in pain than to let them go.

There is no comfort really only in the knowing you ARE doing the right thing.

And yes , I KNOW my horses are in heaven waiting just as yours will be.

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Small Time Hay, :huggy:

Sorry that you have to through this, it is never easy, & heart wrenching, but seeing a horse that you love, & so much a part of your daily life, hurting, putting him down is that final act of love. As much as it stresses you now, it will give you some peace. I went through this 3 years ago, with just a trail mare, that I had for 18 years, she was my horse of lifetime, & no other will ever measure up to her. So Treasure the memories, as no one can ever take those from you. So God Bless :angel3: & Best Wishes PD

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I know your pain very well. Grief is part of the process when we love so deeply. The weight on our chests when this decision has to be done is great , but what a gift we can give them by being by their sides when its time to say goodbye not letting them be alone... thats what family does for family....

I believe they are all standing their waiting for their treats..cats, dogs , and horses at the entrance to the rainbow bridge waiting for me .. Its a nice comforting thought and will make it easy for me as well when it comes my time...

Hugs to you and your family at this time of grief .

AD

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:angel3::huggy::angel3::huggy:

The only words of advise I can think to offer at this point are, once you've made the decision that it's time. Do it now, don't hesitate. Get the appt made to get it done. You will ask yourself multiple times if you are doing the right thing (and yes you are). It's hard to be strong enough long enough to make it to the appt if you set it to far out.

((HUGS)) for you!!! This is the sucky part of horse/pet ownership.

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What a beautiful tribute. So very sorry you and your dear friend are going through this. The hardest part of being the one responsible for their care is the moment when it is time to make a decision for well-being that they cannot. We are their stewards, right up til the last.

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Grief is part of the process when we love so deeply. The weight on our chests when this decision has to be done is great , but what a gift we can give them by being by their sides when its time to say goodbye not letting them be alone... thats what family does for family....

Very well said, (bolded words my emphasis.) I am very sorry for your pain, and hope that the pain won't be so great as to keep you from loving again. Your horse is very fortunate to have to advocating for him who has no voice.

Love and hugs to you now and in the days ahead.

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I am so sorry :( It is never easy to lose them, especially when you have to make the decision. :(

But know this.... we humans tend to be very ego driven. We think we are the center of God's existence. We are not. Think about it. Do you love one of your kids more than the other? Would you allow one paradise and not the other? We are ALL God's creatures and we ALL will be in paradise when our time comes.

It still is sad, to let them go, but you will see him again. :)

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I'm so sorry. It sounds like you have done all you could for him, and now it is one last kindness you will do. Keep your memories happy ones. :huggy:

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We have set the date next Thursday, our vet is making a 90 mile journey to be here. My neighbor bless his heart, said he'd burry him for me after we have him put down. We plan on spoiling him rotten for the next 9 days. Never would I let him end this journey and begin the next by himself, he's been so loyal never asking for a thing that the least I can do is see to it that his transition is smooth. We knew going into this fight that the end result could be death but it doesn't make the reality any easier.

Thank You all for your words of encouragement, they mean more than mere words can express.

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