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"child Exchange"

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http://www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part1

This story is pretty mind blowing to me. I have no idea how it is possible for parents to give up their children in this way. Do you think it should be legal for parents to give up their kids via internet messaging boards? My heart broke to read about kids who had been passed from family to family in this way. :(

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Absolutely disgusting. It SHOULD be illegal to "transfer" guardianship privately, whether they are bilogical or adopted children. If child- or sex-traffickers get ahold of them....God help them....

Ugh...the more I think about this the more disgusting it is. Having been through the adoption screening process ourselves there is NO excuse for adoptive parents to decide it is too hard, especially, as in some cases, mere days after returning home with their children.

This is my third edit. :ashamed0002:

I am seething. Why would the parent of an adopted child feel it is aceptabe to just give them away when it is difficult?

"My husband and I are older parents and we have totally different parenting styles that conflict and cause serious contention and a split in our home."

SO???? Would they have done such a thing with a biological child? Hello? Parenting is HARD. Throwaway children. Absolutely detestable. Lord have mercy on their souls.

Edited by Greenhaven

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These are adopted children from other countries..how awful to think the laws aren't enforced..

Seems to me these are people who get these children, use them for their own gain.. Did they really give her away or did they get money for her. I doubt they would just hand a child over without expecting something back in return.... Of course the others are going to keep quiet about any pay off.

Edited by Ann Wheeler

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Sick. As the article said, how can you give up a kid after you imported them because you wanted them? I thought parenthood was for better or for worse, forever no matter what.

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Sick. As the article said, how can you give up a kid after you imported them because you wanted them? I thought parenthood was for better or for worse, forever no matter what.

I can get parents concluding, after adopting a child from oversees, that they aren't fit to handle it and need someone to intervene. Special needs children are hard enough, compound that with oversees children who have often been in way worse situations than kids in the U.S., often times will also behave way worse.

BUT, there need to be laws against what the article is mentioning. OR, if they are going to have something like that, they need to be able to screen the people who add themselves to the "re-homing lists" and this should be done through some sort of re-homing agency. I really don't see how this is currently anything different than human trafficking so I am unsure why they cannot charge these people with human trafficking.

There need to be outlets for parents who get in over their heads with an out of country adoption. Maybe, before adopting from outside the U.S., you have to pay a fee to a company who holds the fee, and then releases on the child's 18th birthday. That way, the agency would be able to afford to send the kid back to the adoption agency back in their own country if things don't work out.. I understand that this is not fair at all to the child, BUT, at least the child would not be here, floating from home to home, with God knows who.

I do have to be honest, if I had kids and I adopted a kid and that kid was violent towards my other kids and I feared for them, the other kid would be sent back in an instant.

Edited by Blondyy

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I know in our state sending the child back is not an option after adoption unless you want to pay child support until they are 18 and then it's on your record that you terminated your rights as a parent. I think I would make sure it was something I wanted to do for sure before I did such a thing.

Edited by rosy

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The whole situation is rough. Transfer of guardianship is a non-lawyer related agreement designed to give parents freedom to put a family member or trusted friend in charge of their children in times when the parent is unavailable (illness, traveling, what have you). So how do you protect these kids without infringing on the parental rights of the entire nation?

What a mess. Poor kids.

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That's just awful!! There are days I'd like to ship my kids off, who doesn't? But I'd never in a million years ever do it! My kids are my life and I feel naked without them. Yeah they drive me nuts sometimes but isn't that their jobs. LOL!!

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I can't imagine handing over any kid in my care over to a complete stranger. We have POA on the 18 month old little girl my wife has babysat since she was 7 weeks old. Her single mother has gotten herself into trouble with the law and is awaiting sentencing while behind bars. She has spent more time at our house than anywhere else including with her mother in that time. We have no intentions of trying to take her away from her mother, but needed something to make sure no one else could come in and take her off. We went through the DCS to make sure everything was legit and legal. We have expressed to the mother that once she is able to get her life straightened out then we will gladly reintroduce them as we feel she is the best place for the child when she is right. Until then we have accepted all responsibilities for raising her in a way that would make her proud.

We love her and treat her as our own so there is no favoritism for our own over her. If anything she gets more attention from us and our kids then our own do. lol They love her as their little sister and involve her in everything they do to the point of fighting over who gets to take her with them.

The thought of pawning her off on a total stranger to get her out of my hair makes me weak in the stomach just trying to imagine myself doing it. We have had troublesome kids come through our home that my wife babysat for because no daycare would take them. Worked with most of them over a year and were able to help the parents find stability for them because we wouldn't turn our back on them. Most were Air Force kids who never get to stay anywhere long enough to find stability. We actually stay in touch with a handful of the families that have come through our door and have moved on to other bases.

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Roady, takes a special person to take in problem kids and turn them around.

The thought of turning a child over to a stranger just boggles my mind. You don't know what you are letting that child in for!

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there are families in india and thailand that are so poor that they have babies to put them up for sale, just to put food on the table for the rest of the family. :(:( .

human trafficking--which to my mind this underground network is--is one of the biggest black market economies in the world today. unfortunately it thrives because there IS a market.

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there are families in india and thailand that are so poor that they have babies to put them up for sale, just to put food on the table for the rest of the family. :(:( .

human trafficking--which to my mind this underground network is--is one of the biggest black market economies in the world today. unfortunately it thrives because there IS a market.

The first statement is, unfortubately, a harsh reality. However, this is supposedly a top-tier nation and there is no excuse for not resolving this problem in THIS country.

I completely agree with the bolded statement above. Whether the "giver" parents intend it or not, it IS trafficking.

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The whole situation is rough. Transfer of guardianship is a non-lawyer related agreement designed to give parents freedom to put a family member or trusted friend in charge of their children in times when the parent is unavailable (illness, traveling, what have you). So how do you protect these kids without infringing on the parental rights of the entire nation?

What a mess. Poor kids.

This is true. There are often legitimate reasons to give someone the authority to take care of your kids while you are incapacitated. You can get a legal guardianship but those are somewhat complicated. I have seen these DIY custody agreements fairly often. We (my agency) take the position that such agreements aren't legal unless they have been issued by the courts.

I know in our state sending the child back is not an option after adoption unless you want to pay child support until they are 18 and then it's on your record that you terminated your rights as a parent. I think I would make sure it was something I wanted to do for sure before I did such a thing.

That's not exactly true. In Arkansas, you can set aside an adoption with no repercussions on an adoptive parent if they have "exhausted all necessary means to preserve the parent/child relationship". So you can give up an adoptive child if you have done counseling, residential treatment, etc. and nothing has worked.

It seems that most of this "rehoming" involves foreign adoptions. I don't have a great deal of experience in foreign adoptions. I know that in adoptions done through my agency (Ark. Dept. of Human Services) the adoptive parents must go through a home study that includes state and federal background checks and about 6 weeks of classes. The adoption consultant tries to match a child with parents who are capable of meeting the child's needs. We are required to disclose all medical, mental and behavioral problems that we are aware the child may have. Then the child has to be in the home for 6 months before the adoption is final. For special needs children there are subsidies designed to help adoptive parents to meet the child's needs. These can be things like financial assistance, tax breaks, Medicare, etc. People who do private or foreign adoptions do not have this kind of disclosure or support system.

The article also talked about ICPC and how it was supposed to prevent those kinds of custody transfers. That isn't true. ICPC only applies when an agency sends a child across state lines for purposes of treatment, adoption or foster care. It doesn't apply to parents sending their child across state lines.

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Wireweiners My sil who adopted 2 children has had to turn one back over to DHS because no one can handle her. She is in the state mental hospital because she is beyond being with a regular family. The DHS worker is the one who recommended her being turned back over and she still has to pay child support. She went through every thing they asked her to do. She also has this child's brother and his anger is beyond anything they can do. Apparently whatever these children went through before she got them was pretty awful. He's been kicked out of military school. Trust me my sil has exhausted everything. DHS even had him sent to Tennessee for treatment for a while. Short of juvie they don't know what to do with him.

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The first statement is, unfortubately, a harsh reality. However, this is supposedly a top-tier nation and there is no excuse for not resolving this problem in THIS country.

I completely agree with the bolded statement above. Whether the "giver" parents intend it or not, it IS trafficking.

The first statement is, unfortubately, a harsh reality. However, this is supposedly a top-tier nation and there is no excuse for not resolving this problem in THIS country.

I completely agree with the bolded statement above. Whether the "giver" parents intend it or not, it IS trafficking.

What would be the plan in solving this problem?

The fact of the matter is, there is no place for these foreign children to go. When the parents find out that they bit off more than they can chew, they can't just drop them off at the local church.

Nor should the taxpayers have to pick up this burden. We are already trillions in debt. Our own American children who are in state care are scraping by until they are 18 and thrown out on their butts with no resources. People keep knowingly bringing special needs children into the world- when they are sick of caring for them or no longer can, they end up in state care- dwindling the resources even more down.

Unfortunately, everyone wants to save everyone and have Disney feel good moments (as evidenced in the special needs thread) but the reality is, there is not enough money to support it ALL.

1. Either needs to stop outside adoptions or 2. Need to make the parents set up some sort of escrow account if someone wants to adopt internationally, and in the event it doesn't work out, then they ship the child back to where they came from.

Or, we can just continue saving all the special needs children, along with everyone else whether they are from this country or not and just let everyone do whatever makes them feel good for the moment and we will all be in the poor house more so than we already are now.

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What would be the plan in solving this problem?

I am not saying I have the answers, but I can throw some things out off the top of my head: like needing it to be a stream-lined legal-process to relinquish an adopted child but still maintain the integrity necessary for legitimate POA guardianships.

What those people were participating in should straight-up be illegal. Like I said, we have been through adoption screening and training, and there is no excuse for "not knowing how hard it can be." Potential adopters are exposed time and time again to the potential difficulties of adopting children from overseas or even older children in the US.

I don't mean to be harsh with people like rosy's relatives; I honestly think that most really want to make a difference in a needy child's life. Some are just in it for selfish reasons, and some are outright delusional about the difficulties.

I recommend anyone who is interested in adopting from overseas or older children from anywhere be foster parents, first. Then you have a legitimate chance at being exposed to real-life difficult experiences and can, for lack of a better phrase, test your mettle.

We ended up not continuing our pursuit of overseas adoption. The reasons were many, but a biiig factor was the realization that even with infants the chances of having serious issues was very, very high and we doubted our ability to cope. Tore up my heart, but in hindsight it was absolutely the right thing to do.

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How is this not child endangerment? How is it possibly legal? At the very least, anyone doing this should be investigated to ensure they were fit parents to begin with, especially since many foreign adopters wouldn't qualify for US adoptions, for various reasons.

Heck, I'd even consider outlawing any sort of adoption without going through proper channels. I think it's a shame people can essentially buy a child from another country without the sort of scrutiny that US adopters must go through. Sex offenders, (which may be who is swapping children on these sites) people who have had children taken away, felons...these folks may not be allowed to adopt domestically, so why are they allowed to adopt internationally? Those that are legit should have no fear going through proper channels to adopt a foreign born child. Someone really needs to close the loophole.

Edited by Little Cow

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I am not saying I have the answers, but I can throw some things out off the top of my head: like needing it to be a stream-lined legal-process to relinquish an adopted child but still maintain the integrity necessary for legitimate POA guardianships.

What those people were participating in should straight-up be illegal. Like I said, we have been through adoption screening and training, and there is no excuse for "not knowing how hard it can be." Potential adopters are exposed time and time again to the potential difficulties of adopting children from overseas or even older children in the US.

I don't mean to be harsh with people like rosy's relatives; I honestly think that most really want to make a difference in a needy child's life. Some are just in it for selfish reasons, and some are outright delusional about the difficulties.

I recommend anyone who is interested in adopting from overseas or older children from anywhere be foster parents, first. Then you have a legitimate chance at being exposed to real-life difficult experiences and can, for lack of a better phrase, test your mettle.

We ended up not continuing our pursuit of overseas adoption. The reasons were many, but a biiig factor was the realization that even with infants the chances of having serious issues was very, very high and we doubted our ability to cope. Tore up my heart, but in hindsight it was absolutely the right thing to do.

I think it kind of goes back to the whole, birthing a severely disabled child knowingly... I think these peoples hearts are in the right places, but even good intentions can cause undue suffering.

Sometimes when people are saddled with much more then they can handle, they do become frustrated and do irrational things that normally they would not do.

I agree that it needs to be illegal- because it is essentially human trafficking.. but, we need a system in place to get these children back to where they came from in the event the adoption fails.

No matter how well screened, or how well trained someone maybe, doesn't mean they fully understand what they are taking on and it is only realized once they have it. For these people, there needs to be an outlet so this does not exist.

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Greenhaven I totally agree with you about people doing it for selfish reasons. My parents fostered for the money and found out it really wasn't worth it. They couldn't handle the kids. My sil did it to truly help the kids but had no idea what she was in for and no longer fosters. I could never foster, I know the reality of it and it's definitely not for everyone. I think that fostering would prepare you some for an over seas child but there would be more to it. I think they should have to spend time, real time not just a day or two with the child so they could get an idea of what the child is like. Sounds like the people in the article just treated this child like a puppy and got sick of it and pawned it off on someone else. It's just a sad thing for the child.

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And we think we can deal with equine overpopulation without a slaughter market. Riiiiiight.

I don't understand this whole foreign adoption thing anyway. What's wrong with a kid right here right now? I swear it's a designer kid thing. Like it's trendy to accessorize with a Malaysian baby or something.

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The reasons were many, but a biiig factor was the realization that even with infants the chances of having serious issues was very, very high and we doubted our ability to cope

.In many cases the child's serious issues are covered upped, not on their records...

those countries see a way to have these children leave their care... so they keep quiet.

the adoptive parents are unaware of this, until they have the child. Then they are faced with something they don't know how to handle.

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And we think we can deal with equine overpopulation without a slaughter market. Riiiiiight.

I don't understand this whole foreign adoption thing anyway. What's wrong with a kid right here right now? I swear it's a designer kid thing. Like it's trendy to accessorize with a Malaysian baby or something.

For some that may be true, particularly among celebrities, but what is wrong with adopting a child from a foreign country? One really cannot judge where another's heart might lead. That is (sort of) like saying "Why would anyone buy a crappy little QH when there are so many needy OTTB's?"

That analogy is admittedly weak, but maybe helps express my point. A child in need is a child is in need, and we gain nothing by being isolationist in our compassion.

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token girl, the reason people in this country at least look to adopt children in third world countries is that the criteria are so rigorous here (must be under 35, married for so many years, etc. etc.) that it becomes the only solution for childless couples who desperately want to have kids.

if you have the money, the intestinal fortitude to put up with countless delays, corruption, getting your hopes up only to have them dashed again, for the desperate it's the last possible avenue. the german government has no authority as the law stands now if you want to adopt 15 children from china. we have friends who adopted two. theirs is a truly harrowing story--certainly not something i'd want to go through.

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The reason there is no law for this is because it's such a newer concept. When people started adopting, there wasn't the internet. Now people are able to do this. It needs more attention brought to it in order for a law to be made for people to be arrested for it.

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The reason there is no law for this is because it's such a newer concept. When people started adopting, there wasn't the internet. Now people are able to do this. It needs more attention brought to it in order for a law to be made for people to be arrested for it.

i don't know how old you are, but the internet made human trafficking and underground adopting even easier as of 1996. it's been around, other than that, forever. it''s just so much easier now for the perps to network. :angry::(:(

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To Melissa Puchalla, the Easons "seemed wonderful." Had she vetted them more closely, she might have discovered what Reuters would learn:

• Child welfare authorities had taken away both of Nicole Eason's biological children years earlier. After a sheriff's deputy helped remove the Easons' second child, a newborn baby boy, the deputy wrote in his report that the "parents have severe psychiatric problems as well with violent tendencies."

• The Easons each had been accused by children they were babysitting of sexual abuse, police reports show. They say they did nothing wrong, and neither was charged.

• The only official document attesting to their parenting skills – one purportedly drafted by a social worker who had inspected the Easons' home – was fake, created by the Easons themselves.

On Quita's first night with the Easons, her new guardians told her to join them in their bed, Quita says today. Nicole slept naked, she says.

Within a few days, the Easons stopped responding to Melissa Puchalla's attempts to check on Quita, Puchalla says. When she called the school that Quita was supposed to attend, an administrator told Puchalla that the teenager had never shown up.

The couple never did a background check.. if they were so concerned they would have done so....

this couple that came took the child probably couldn't go through normal channels of adopting a child here in America. due to their record. so they found an easier way.

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Wireweiners My sil who adopted 2 children has had to turn one back over to DHS because no one can handle her. She is in the state mental hospital because she is beyond being with a regular family. The DHS worker is the one who recommended her being turned back over and she still has to pay child support. She went through every thing they asked her to do. She also has this child's brother and his anger is beyond anything they can do. Apparently whatever these children went through before she got them was pretty awful. He's been kicked out of military school. Trust me my sil has exhausted everything. DHS even had him sent to Tennessee for treatment for a while. Short of juvie they don't know what to do with him.

Has she gone back to DHS and asked for the adoption to be set aside? If she does that then child support can stop. She is probably drawing a subsidy from those adoptions or the children are getting SSI or both. If that is the case we do ask for the amount of the subsidy to be paid back to the state as child support, the same for SSI. The state is not going to give you money to take care of kids that you don't have, especially when they are back in state custody and the state is paying for them.

How is this not child endangerment? How is it possibly legal? At the very least, anyone doing this should be investigated to ensure they were fit parents to begin with, especially since many foreign adopters wouldn't qualify for US adoptions, for various reasons.

It is legitimate because it is the parents making the placement and it is a custody agreement, not an adoption. There are legitimate reasons for parents to give POA's over there children. For example, if a single parent or both parents are in the military and they are deployed, they may give power of attorney over their children to a relative or close family friend. But given these relevations about "child exchanges" there obviously needs to be more legal oversight. I do believe these parents who just dropped their kids off with total strangers could be charged with failure to properly supervise or child endangerment.

I think it kind of goes back to the whole, birthing a severely disabled child knowingly... I think these peoples hearts are in the right places, but even good intentions can cause undue suffering.

Blondy, I am amazed by your psychic abilities. In addition to knowing when a child will be born severly disabled do you also pick lottery numbers? You do know, don't you, that most mental disabilities and illnesses don't show up in utero? What are people supposed to do when the child they dreamed of turns out not to be perfect? Honestly, the things you say.

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