equestrianbreeches

Update - New Barn Paranoia

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I've been at the same boarding barn for 9 years. The care of the horses has been excellent however the BO is a very difficult person to deal with and it seems to be getting worse. There is no maintenance being done to the facility and I'm starting to get that voice in the back of my head that says it's time to move on.

This subject comes up in my head several times a year, and each time my fear of the unknown keeps me staying put. The bottom line is neither me or my daughter particularly likes going to the barn anymore and what's the point of owning horses if you can't enjoy them? There's always inevitably a screaming match between the BO and someone else, the latest was between her and a lesson student during a lesson which my daughter was a part of. My daughter had to sit on her horse and wait while this was going on.

The point of this thread is not if I should move, but how to get over the fear of moving somewhere else. in other words, I've been obsessing over the idea that what if I jump from the frying pan to the fire? I think to really enjoy my time with my horses, moving is a necessity but I just can't seem to make that leap as the fear for their well being trumps everything else.

Any thoughts?

Update: Ok so I gave my notice and I was honestly nervous as all get out and sort of blurted it out, expecting a fight. BO fell on her sword and knocked $100 off the board bill. NOT the reaction I expected at all. I did focus on lack of riding area as being the reason I was leaving and that certainly was a part of it, but I made sure that I focused that alone. She was honestly very nice about it. I said I wanted to think about it. I went home and talked to my hubby and asked him for his opinion. He's not horsey at all. This wonderful man said stay where you are and let's start looking for horse property.... :happy0203::yay:

So our Realtor is coming out to look at our house on Monday. She specializes in horse property and owns horses herself and said that this is very doable. She said the market in my area is very hot right now and we want to list the house as soon as possible before rates go up. She anticipates it selling within 30 days based on specs and pictures and other properties in the area. She needs to see it for herself. So fingers and toes crossed that the current home sells fast so that I can bring my boys home.

Edited by equestrianbreeches

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How Bad does it have to get........

Before you get off your duff and start looking for a Happy place to board?

Does a horse or person have to become critically injured or die because of disrepair?

OR

Does the BO have to get a gun and shoot someone in front of your daughter?

Would that get you motivated to leave?????

Your fear of change is HURTING

Your DAUGHTER'S emotional well being!

The next person being yelled at, and brought to tears will one day be HER!

Your fear of change is KILLING

All of YOUR'S and your DAUGHTER'S Joy, Happiness, Love of Horses & Riding!

HOW MUCH OF YOUR LIFE AND MONEY DOES THIS CRAZY WOMAN HAVE TO DESTROY

BEFORE YOU WAKE UP?

THIS IS YOUR WAKE UP WORD........

LEAVE!!!!!!!

Edited by dondie

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Gotta agree with Dondie.

What if your fear of the unknown, your fear that you'll wind up in a worse boarding situation, causes you to delay finding an absolutely perfect (or even acceptable!) boarding situation that makes horse owning enjoyable?

Move. Start looking at barns today and get this ball rolling so you and your daughter can enjoy your horses.

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How Bad does it have to get........

Before you get off your duff and start looking for a Happy place to board?

Does a horse or person have to become critically injured or die because of disrepair?

OR

Does the BO have to get a gun and shoot someone in front of your daughter?

Would that get you motivated to leave?????

Your fear of change is HURTING

Your DAUGHTER'S emotional well being!

The next person being yelled at, and brought to tears will one day be HER!

Your fear of change is KILLING

All of YOUR'S and your DAUGHTER'S Joy, Happiness, Love of Horses & Riding!

HOW MUCH OF YOUR LIFE AND MONEY DOES THIS CRAZY WOMAN HAVE TO DESTROY

BEFORE YOU WAKE UP?

THIS IS YOUR WAKE UP WORD........

LEAVE!!!!!!!

Thanks Dondie, I needed this, I really did. :duh::duh::duh::duh::duh::duh:

And Heidi, you're absolutely right. Fear keeps me from really enjoying life, and not just in this situation.

I am checking out a barn on Sunday that comes highly recommended by a friend. The best part? it backs up to a State Park with miles of trails, my Paso's specialty! Fingers crossed.....

Thanks to both of you for lighting a fire under my butt. My friend's recommended this place for months and I finally called the BO.....

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:yay::yahoo::yay::yahoo::yay:


:yay::yahoo::yay:


:yay:




I'm So Proud Of You!






Some times you have to turn up the drama, to open people's eyes.


I'm glad that I could give you the extra nudge you needed.


:smileywavey:

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and she's sure got the volume and graphics down just right :twitch: . now i'm thinking of moving barns lol.

yay equestrian breeches!! (yay dondie!)

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Good for you! I wasted a lot of time being unhappy at boarding barns. Nothing dangerous or abusive, but places where I just didn't mesh with what was going on. Life's too short, and there are too many barns out there to be at one that sucks. You should not only look forward to going to the barn, you should not want to go home once you're there! I used to end up killing whole days at my barn back home simply because I'd be having fun hanging around with everyone.

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We had an experience where we hated the place we kept the ponies....NOW, I have to go about 100 ft, and see them nicker, and prance. Of course you also have about 10 ton of manure, lots of water barrels to clean and fill, and raking/moving sand/leveling turn outs/and replacing stall shavings.

But KNOW it is done right, and the way you want!

I love taking care of my kids, and with a 32 yr old that is easier on my mind.

GEDC0409.jpg

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Love that brutal truth. Dondie goes to the head of the "keeper" list. Am also in admiration of that puter savvy technique. So, when do you move to the new barn? Hope it works out really well.

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Ok, so kiddo and I decided to make a day of it yesterday and go on a whirlwind barn search. We visited 4 different farms, including the one that was recommended by a friend.

Barn 1 didn't impress. Horses weren't emaciated but too thin for my tastes and they looked like they had some maintenance issues. On to barn number 2. Absolutely beautiful facility and the price of board reflected it...;( Unfortunately way out of my price range, cost to board one was more than what I pay for both of mine currently. Additionally, this was a heavily competition focused barn and not sure it would have been a good fit anyway.

Barn number 3 was the one recommended by my friend. Older barn but well maintained. I really liked the BO and BM. Both seemed pretty down to earth. Horses looked well fed and happy and they have nice pasture. The one caveat for me was the pasture fencing. It was 4 strand hot wire...:( It wasn't the real thin kind you think of when you think of hot wire, it was real thick and they had it marked so the horses could see it, but I don't know. It look like it was installed well and I didn't see any sagging wire but I'm struggling with this one. I would have told them to expect me on the first of January except for this. Spoke with my friend who has sent her horses there for training and she has said there has never been a problem. Is this my fear cropping up, or is this a legitimate concern?

Barn number 4 looked ok, but something about the BM just seemed off. I don't how to explain it other than that. The pastures were not as nice as barn number 3 but were ok and honestly better than the pasture where they're at now. The other turn off for this place was the dirt road to it. I can see access being a problem during real wet periods.

Add to that, my husband dropped a bomb that perhaps we should look for horse property. Now he tells me. We just bought our current home three years ago. Sheesh I could have found horse property back then. If this is truly a viable option, I wouldn't anticipate this happening for at least a year so I'm thinking I would still want to move the boys.

Any way that's the recent update........

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I don't get the problem? You don't like hot wire?

To me, a clearly marked 4 strand hot wire, strung taught, would be ideal!

I've just heard stories of horses getting caught it in. I suppose that could very easily happen with a lot of types of fencing. Heck, now that I think about it my dink of a qh reared up at the fence at a horse on the other side and got his foot got caught in the wire mesh portion of it. Thankfully there was no injury, but that could have been bad......

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My horse was boarded at a place that was all hot wire, it was never on either. I never ran into any problems and the other various horses never either. The cows would get through the fencing, that was the only issue.

Good luck!!!

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I used thinner hot wire on my property.. I only had 1 issue. My appendix mare ran my Draft mare through 2 fences. Heffer. Even with that there was no injuries.. had it been barbed wire she would've been tore up bad.. heavier gaged hot wire is stronger. Once a horse gets zapped and learns that fence bites they'll leave it be.. heck I hardly ever had mine on once my appendix moved with my mom.. and the main reason it got flipped on was to remind the goats to stay off the fence. LOL

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Breeches,

I completely understand. I wonder if I'm going to go from the frying pan into the fire.

My barn was great until the owner sold it to a young couple with young kids (6 & 7 yrs old). Now, all they do is complain about how much it costs, while they keep 9 horses of their own. Now, it's still a nice place, probably one of the best around, but general maintainance is not high on their priority list.

There have been 1/3 of the bulbs out in the covered arena for over a month now.

2 cross tie poles were destroyed, were replaced, but have yet to be painted.

Cob webs used to be swept down routinely--now, they are coating everything--can you say fire hazard? They say, "its a metal barn, it won't burn." But the shattering of the lights, dropping flaming cob webs on my horse and into his shavings will catch fire. DUH!

They have been skimping on shavings--except for theirs and the WP trainer's stalls.

The grass/weeds are not being kept under control.

The last load of alfalfa was stemmy and had stickers. BO swears there is no chance the new load has blister beetles because it's from Midland, TX. DUH! BBs have been reported from Arizona to the east coast.

They are just clueless, lazy and the wife just wants to be a stay at home mom and ride her horses and not deal with the boarders. Husband works out of town a lot and neither of them help the actual workers.

We have had mulitiple times of gates being left open and horses getting out and at least one horse not getting fed.

And don't get me started about their brats running around the barn like wild animals with no supervision. The little one walked up behind my horse one day and smacked him on the butt as hard as she could. He was standing perfectly still, minding his own business. Luckily, he just sucked his butt under him. Some horses would have kicked out and bashed her brains in.

But through all this, I'm still reluctant to find another barn. Crazy, I know. I've heard horror stories about local barns and don't want to get into a worse situation. And I plan to talk to them about the cob webs-when I can do it without calling them idiots.

I hope you can find a safe place for your ponies.

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I actually think every barn I've ever had a lesson/boarded/leased at had 4 strand wire. No one ever had any problems at any of the barns :) The one fencing injury I DO know of when I worked at the vets' was from a 4 rail wood fence that a horse reared on, broke, and deeply punctured her hindquarter with the jagged end.

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I have four strands of Electrobraid, and if it installed and maintained correctly it is extremely safe. Safer than mesh, IMO. It is supposed to be super stretched, and in this way will bounce a running horse off it and will not wrap around a horse who rolls into it or something like that.

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I'd much rather hove hot wire than anything else. Hot wire keeps my horses in extremely well. We use the high tensile kind. Nice thick strands of it.

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BO swears there is no chance the new load has blister beetles because it's from Midland, TX. DUH!

Um have they been to Midland? It's all dry and full of stickers. If you don't get stickers in your hay you will have plenty of dirt and other carp in there. I never liked it when I had to go hay shopping there. Good thing we left I hated that area. Too ugly of a town for me.

This is why I'm glad that my horse can live behind the house in town. Right now he's at my moms because we haven't put a fence up but I can still sit on my porch and see him at my moms. She lives caddy corner to us on the Main Street. I love small towns.

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mnthesun, my sympathies. I've not had any concerns as far as care where I'm at now, but it could be argued that lack of maintenance is part of care. If fences are falling down, it could be just one step away from disaster. I was looking at the field that one of my geldings is in and many of the posts are leaning, all on the side that borders a dirt road. There is a strand of hot wire along the top of the fencing to discourage horses from leaning and chewing on the fences, and there are many sections that are no longer hot.

Our front riding area is often unusable after heavy rains. The barn owner behind us is gracious enough to let us ride back there when this occurs. However, she has a couple of boarders that don't like the girls jumping while they are riding. It is her barn and her livelihood so of course we have to abide by this request. Those ladies are paying boarders back there and have every right to ask the girls not to jump. Unfortunately this limits my daughter in what she can do after heavy rains.

We had a teenage girl move to the barn about three years ago. She has a young arab that was a little flighty and exhibited the usual young horse silliness. You could tell from day one that this horse adores her. She has one of those unique relationships with the horse that a lot of people envy. Prior to coming to our barn, she did Parelli with him. I'm not a fan of Parelli, but hey, to each his own. I'm of the mind live and let live and whatever works for you go for it. The barn owner would not let her do Parelli because she doesn't like it or agree with it. It's not a matter of safety. I never saw this girl do anything "dangerous" with the horse and her interactions with her horse are always quiet and patient. However, because it's not what the barn owner would do with her horses, it was basically forbidden.

I could go on and on about the BO's personality the screaming and her basic venomous nature. With the poor maintenance and a barn owner with an often psychotic personality and I'm just done. Dondie's post really put it into perspective for me. Do I wait for disaster to happen, or do I make a proactive choice? Well, I've decided to move to barn #3 recommended by my friend. This is HUGE for me. I'm scared to death I'm not going to lie, but I've got to do something or I might as well sell the horses all together......

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:huggy: Proud of you! I hope it will be an excellent and smooth move for you. Are you required to give notice at your current barn? That would be my biggest worry, th BO's behavior after she finds out you are leaving. If no notice is required I would quietly make my arrangements so that when the time comes all you have to do is load the horses and go.

edited because I am not sure what cerruent means. :unsure:

Edited by Greenhaven

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I do have to give 30 days. The good news is, the new barn has indicated they will give me December free if I pay for feed, so I can bring them any time. I'm getting new tires on the trailer tomorrow, my husband has expressed concern there. I will tell her Friday. She wasn't there yesterday so I staged everything.

Knowing her personality this is not going to go well. A friend and fellow boarder and I spoke last night and she told me to focus on lack of riding area as the main point of concern in an attempt to keep the conversation civil. Any reference to her maintenance of the place or her personality will be perceived as more of a personal attack on her and could easily escalate the conversation to a place I'm really hoping to avoid. The goal at this point is to get the horses out of there as calmly and quietly as possible.

This particular friend is the only boarder that has been there longer than me. Her horse is older now and probably won't be around much longer so she is pretty set on staying there until the end for him. Each winter he has more of a difficult time keeping weight on and does appear to have trouble with chewing hay. She even expressed concerns on how much longer she'll be able to ride him. He's an OTTB with a lot of miles and now has hock issues. She was honestly the only positive thing for me as I enjoyed riding with her. Even she is encouraging me to go.

So fingers crossed that I can get them out of there with a minimal amount of drama......

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Yeah, you might be able to get away with something like "This barn is no longer a good fit for us and that is all I am going to say." It won't save you the confrontation but it will protect you by being non-specific.

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