QueenBAW

Fighting Neighbors. What To Do?

Recommended Posts

I live in a building that used to be used to bottle wine once upon a time. When that went south, the landlord split the building into 3 apartments and one storage space. Not at all your typical apartment building. Picture a rectangular buidling. My good neighbors live in the apartment on the far end, then theres the storage space which was supposed to be an apartment but was never finished. Then theres my apartment, and then the bad neighbors apartment next to mine on the end. I have lived here for 6 years and have had 3 different neighbors in the bad neighbors apartment over the 6 year period. Never have I had an issue...til now.

I helped the bad neighbors move in, welcomed them, made extra keys for them, etc. I also explained that the walls between our apartments are pretty thin (as in so thin that I can hear them pee thin, no lie) so....basically, just be respectful of me and I'll do the same for you. Theyre a 20 something year old married couple with a 2 year old kid and 2 dogs. Husband works at local grocery store (recently has been cut back to part time hours) and wife does not work. They smoke "weed", and told me from day one. Of course I wasnt thrilled, but decided whatever they do on their own time in their own privacy is none of my business. Well, when they started having random people over at all times of the night, it became my business. My good neighbors werent happy about it as well and talked to them about it which seemed to help. Lately theyve been gone a lot on the weekends and leave the dogs home. Their little dog cries all. day. long until they come home. They know, Ive told them, but I also realize that theres nothing really that can be done about it, so I just try to tune it out. The bigger issue here is that the two of them argue EVERY day. They argue so loud that my good neighbors can hear them at times all the way down to their apartment on the opposite end. Its not just any arguement...its screaming, crying, I want a divorce arguement. It goes on for hours. Sometimes its in the morning, sometimes in the evening, sometimes late at night. Last night it was from 7:30pm - 8pm. I could hear every word. I have spoken with them about it just last week. They know I can hear them, yet its still happening. Last night there was a lot of stomping around, etc. There is never any physical contact that I hear, just a lot of yelling. And yes, this is happening in front of their little girl.

Ive spoken with them, the neighbors have spoken with them yet its not helping. The landlord doesnt give a rats booty as long as he gets his rent money every month, heck, he doesnt live next to them so what does he care? What do I do now? Call the cops? Is that appropriate? Im not even sure they will come out if its before 10pm, or if no one has been assaulted. Advice please.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's a domestic disturbance. If you ever even kind of suspect physical violence, got those cops on the phone and let them know there is a child in the house, poor baby. I'd consult with your good neighbor and see if they are willing to file a formal complaint alongside you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, calling the cops is appropriate, and should have been done long ago, AND EVERY time they start in.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree it is a domestic disturbance and you need to call the police; because their version of domesticity is disturbing you!

It doesn't matter whether or not they've become physical before you call law enforcement, their verbal assault on each other (in front of their small child) is bothering YOU and YOU have a right to peace/quiet in your own home. Since you made them aware of what you can hear, requested polite consideration and they haven't modified their behavior to respect your request, call the police every time they start in and let the cops tell 'em to keep it down.

It is entirely up to you if you want to give them a heads-up about giving them 10-15 to air their grievances but anything longer than that you'll be on the phone with law enforcement to make a complaint or just pull a "Surprise! The cops are here to talk to you and give you a citation for disturbing your neighbors."

Oh! I just had a BRILLIANT IDEA!

Record what you hear in your apartment during their next argument, post it on YouTube and give them the link to listen to it while telling them they're going to be famous when it goes viral!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel like since they know I can hear them and they still argue, my only other option is to call the cops. I hate to be so severe, but I'm almost to the point of screaming when I hear them. They are nice people when I talk to them, theyve just got their own issues and I'm tired of hearing about them.

I thought that maybe making noise of my own to show them just how thin the walls were would help. I;d been tip toeing around in the mornings when getting ready for work because I know theyre still asleep. I stopped doing that, did my usual routine, turned the tv on, didnt shush the dogs when theyd bark, etc. Doesnt seem to bother them. Ugh.

Edited by QueenBAW

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Char! Such LANGUAGE!!! lol.

I like the youtube idea... :D positively evil. You could also get business cards for couples therapists and slip them into their mail or under their door....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have kinda the same issue with my apartment. We live in a regular apartment type, 4 apartments per building. They are below and diagonal from me. I've always like my neighbors before these people moved in. There are about 6 or more any given night, and I do mean ANY and EVERY night. Partying all night. Seriously. Music so loud I can feel it vibrate my bed. Every night. All night. It starts around 5 pm and ends around 7am but does start up at random through out the day. I am having issues sleeping because I am forced to sleep on my back with this broken collar and I am not a back sleeper , I sleep on my side. So their music just makes it worse.

I've considered calling the cops but when they come to question me, I don't want the neighbors knowing who called. I don't need drama you know? I hope you can get yours fixed. Mine is annoying, yours could turn dangerous.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hoku, you tell the cops that. They usually understand and have you go down to the station later for a statement.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I never thought about that. I'm just tired of hearing their music. My dogs are respectful and only bark for a few seconds when someone opens the door. Other then that we don't play music, no tv, no barking dogs, nothing that they could turn around and blame us for. I'm sure I'll get tired of it to the point that at 3am I call the cops. It's ridiculous.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can call in anonymously.

If you never call the cops and something horrible happens they will have no record of incidents, only hearsay.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I used to live in an apartment complex and have had similar problems to Queen and Hoku. Although for awhile there I was the one with the raging parties, but usually the neighbors joined in, I had a dirt bike in my living room, was a good ice breaker lol.

Anyway, I had a neighbor woman who had three kids under 10, she dated this man that would be over on occasion and they would fight constantly in front of the kids, now they lived on the opposite side of the courtyard from me, but I could hear what they were saying while I was in my apartment. I called the police on them several times and made sure they wouldn't come to my apartment or question me, they would usually call me afterwards. One time I called because it was worse than normal and they took it outside to the parking lot where one tried to steal the others car, woman began throwing bottles at bf, and finally he, very drunk, took off in his truck, we lived next to a park and many children lived in the area, so I called the police and told them what happened along with a description of his truck. They showed up and I eavesdropped on the conversation and then voluntarily went down to talk to the cops, as the woman lied about everything and I wanted to make sure they stopped that drunk fool.

I also had neighbors growing pot (I live in northern California lol) and the pot went through the vents into my apartment and made me sick to my stomach, I hate the smell. And they played music constantly, all night most nights of the week. I called the police on them once, watched the police walk up to the apartment and a kid was in his car grabbing booze, walks back to the apartment and sees the cops, the tucks the booze in his jacket and runs the other way lol.

Well the point of my story is: Call the police, it may never stop, they may finally break up and move out, or may get therapy. But it's more than worth it to call the cops and explain it all. It's horrible to deal with that, especially regularly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Im with Hoku, I really dont want them to know that it was me who called the cops. If I call them, theres no way in the world that it wouldnt be obvious that it was me who called. HOWEVER...Monday they fought for 3 hours, included the child this time. One was pulling the child from the other etc. I would have called the cops, and should have, however we got 6 inches of snow that day, our roads were horrible and I honestly didnt think that the cops would make it out to my place.

What was the arguement over? Wife had asked husband to put a load of laundry in the dryer, he never did it. He wanted to go to town to sell a bag of weed to a friend. Her arguement was that he does more and thinks more of his friends than his wife. Ugh, jesus, someone save me.

They were gone when I got home yesterday from work. They came home late and woke me up at 12:30am argueing. I wouldve called the cops this morning but they werent screaming like usual, and it didnt last terribly long. The next time this happens, I'm calling.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sounds like they're training you... As it seems you are building up a tokerance to their rude behavior.

I would for sure call next time. Let the cops decide if it's worth it to drive out, etc.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There is a child involved!

Call the cops..... These situations can go from bad to worse case scenario in nothing flat. Please do NOT take that chance again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

^^^ I agree about the excuses. If you aren't going to pound on the wall and tell them to keep-it-down or call authorities who can and will speak with them about their behavior that disturbs their neighbors .... no one else will. Decide if this really bothers you and instead of venting, actually do something about it and call authorities to lodge a complaint.

And I have to comment on this:

Snow, schmoe! A child could have been harmed, you overheard there were illegal drugs in the home (a drug-dealer, at the least) and you didn't call. Whether officers could make it out immediately or not, at least paperwork would have been generated that required a follow-up and could hold the parents accountable for their actions and behavior.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you're feeling bad about the idea of calling the cops because they're fighting, think about it instead as being an advocate for the poor little girl. No child should have to grow up in that environment and you would be sticking up for her by bringing authorities into the situation...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can call the cops without them arriving at your door. I had to call them when a kid's birthday party turned into a drunken adult free-for-all. :rolleye0014:

I agree that calling the law on them would be in their little kid's best interest.

One of my clients lived in an apartment with super thin walls. We got a left-over/partial roll of a high grade 1/2 inch carpet pad and nailed it with long finishing nails to the area between the ceiling and wall.Then tucked the edges of sheets between the pad & ceiling to hang down over the pad make it look like wallpaper. The carpet company was happy to give us the padding and save them room in their dumpster. Her heating bills went down too. It took about twenty minutes to pull it all down and drag the padding to the dumpster. Bedspreads/quilts/comforters from thrift stores or garage sales nailed and layered on the walls can cut down the volume too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

^^^ I agree about the excuses. If you aren't going to pound on the wall and tell them to keep-it-down or call authorities who can and will speak with them about their behavior that disturbs their neighbors .... no one else will. Decide if this really bothers you and instead of venting, actually do something about it and call authorities to lodge a complaint.

And I have to comment on this:

Snow, schmoe! A child could have been harmed, you overheard there were illegal drugs in the home (a drug-dealer, at the least) and you didn't call. Whether officers could make it out immediately or not, at least paperwork would have been generated that required a follow-up and could hold the parents accountable for their actions and behavior.

Actually, there was an incident there several years ago with another neighbor at the time who threatened me. I called the cops and the cops refused to come out because no one had been harmed. So, with the cops responding to snow related accidents that day and the amount of snow we got, I highly doubt they wouldve come out for a domestic disturbance that was happening before 10pm and in which no one was harmed. And, paperwork and follow up?....Yeah, thats the way is supposed to work, but it doesnt here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hear what you're saying Queen and I'm sorry officers didn't respond to your complaint about the neighbor who threatened you. I guess I could (kind of) see how they might prioritize w/ no actual injuries but IMO, every call/complaint must be followed up on because your complaint is as valid as anyone else's complaint. Still, I feel you could have pursued the matter and made an Information Report that would be on-file about the neighbor's threats against you. I did the same when a man bent on pay-back came to my home to personally lodge his complaint when authorities he called didn't "do" anything to me like they did to him. (he had 100 starved horses, my 1 horse was well taken care of) I sent him a registered letter informing him if he contacted me again, the next time we met it would be in court for harassment charges where we could drag aaaalllllll of the information from that time into the light of day for re-examination in order to determine why he was harassing me. He must have declined to continue pursuing his vendetta because I haven't heard a peep outta him since 2003.

My initial point is calling law enforcement places the onus and responsibility on them and could relieve you of a burden of knowing-and-not-doing-anything.

I hope they move and you get good neighbors.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just a brief update. All has been quiet! We'll see how long that lasts.

Well, that's great news. I wonder what changed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now