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Moving In With A Roommate

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I'll be moving in with my bestie July 1, we are going to be renting a 2 bedroom place we've still been viewing places do nothing picked out yet.

We've lived together briefly before, while in uni together.

I am wondering if we should have some sort of roommate agreement to makes things easier? Chore list too maybe? Would a joint bank account for rent/utilities be good as well?

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I'll be moving in with my bestie July 1, we are going to be renting a 2 bedroom place we've still been viewing places do nothing picked out yet.

We've lived together briefly before, while in uni together.

I am wondering if we should have some sort of roommate agreement to makes things easier? Chore list too maybe? Would a joint bank account for rent/utilities be good as well?

you want to have everything in writing to preserve your friendship. oral agreements are one of the biggest reasons for relationships breaking up. NO joint accounts. do you know anything about accounting? you keep a little book in the kitchen and document your expenses and at the end of the month you balance the books.

that doesn't mean you have to pay for her buying caviar, but it does mean that you both pay attention to the "cost of living" for you both and the expenses. if you're really besties, i must assume you have similar tastes and therefore probably eat the same kinds of things, turn lights on and off and have incomes if you're moving in together.

money is the #1 source of divorce, and friendships breaking up because of oral agreements ain't far behind.

good luck!!

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Please do not get a joint bank account, even best friends can have a falling out, when they start disputing who put in what, or, who spent what.

Definitely spell out duties before hand, who does what, depending on work schedules.

Actually, I think moving in together is a bad idea, there's too much potential for best friends to become enemies.

Ever watch Judge Judy? Lots of cases just like that.

I remember a couple of hc best friends who thought they could have a boarder/barn owner relationship... Didn't end well.

But, yeah, spell everything out before hand. Not just regarding chores, but everything. Like, guests.

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Ditto on the everything thing in writing.

I was asked by a good friend from my church if I would share my apartment with her. She had problems with her mom & the sleazy abusive boyfriends she kept bringing home.

We discussed everything (a tip from my aunt) that my friend seemed to rapidly/conveniently forget.

We were supposed to sit down at the beginning of each month with our checkbooks, split the bills 50/50 & each write a check for half.

In the fridge each had separate shelves & half of the freezer, we each had 1/2 the cupboards, we each had our own dishes/silverware/ pots/pans/glasses. We each had our own bedroom with on-suite bathroom. Each of us would keep our own space clean, take out our own trash, put our dirty dishes in the dish washer, clean/dry our own clothes and clean up after ourselves in the common areas. The house rule no guys after 9 pm since both of us worked early jobs and the landlord (retired cop with three small grand daughters) who lived next door didn't want strange men around after his girls went to bed.

She some how seemed to never have money at the start of each month (or any other time), when her brothers and friends came over all food was fair game for them to eat, when she ran out of clean dishes & clothes then mine were fair game too. Her brother went into my bedroom to take a nap,left dirt on my new bedspread and borrowed my camera without permission. I told her that if she didn't shape up she was going to ship out. My fiancée (5th level black-belt) and some of his Judo friends got my camera back without too much fuss.

The kicker was a few nights later, I went to turn off the TV in the living-room and a guy was sitting on the couch!

I screamed, threw a metal lamp at his head and ran for the phone & pepper-spray in my room! My friend and another guy came running naked out of her room. It seems that she went to a bar with her mom, met this guy & his brother and brought them to "her" apartment. The landlord had called 911 and came over with a gun. The guys were wanted by the police and went off to jail. My former friend had to hand over her keys and move back with her mother that night.

The landlord, his wife, my former friend and I packed up her belongings the next day. The creep even tried to steal some of my stuff while we were helping her pack!

The second room-mate and I sat down and had everything in writing. We were still friends when I broke up with my fiancée and moved back to northern CA.

Edited by dondie

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I've lived with her before, and we got along OK - shared a 1 bedroom while in school. She ended up moving out because she needed help $ wise from her mom when she graduated and her mom wouldn't help her 'cause im not Christian... Now she's been on her own for a year or so, and i think she is lonely so she's been pestering me to move in together.

My problem will be how messy she is, so I'm going to negotiate some sort of chores, find out what chores she likes to do and then i'll do what i know she isnt good at. I'll also tell her i'll do the bathroom as the bathroom she will have will be the main bath if guests are over.

We eat the same foods, and when we lived together we just went 50/50 on groceries and shopped together. I paid for the cat food/litter separately.

As for the joint account, I just didnt want one of us to be responsible for paying of rent. If we know what is coming out for bills then our shares could be put into an account and all household bills paid that way. I never had a problem getting rent/bills from her when we lived together. Everything was in my name so she would just transfer whatever was half.

Edited by Wonderish

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It seems like you have a good history as room-mates.

Personally, writing everything down makes any issues that come up, easy to handle.

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No joint bank account... Period! I don't see what would be so hard about you each paying your own share of bills without one. She can write you a check for her share.

I don't care how close you are, joint accounts are not smart.

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Can't you just each pay half to the landlord? That's what I did when I had a roommate in college. She was responsible for her half and I was responsible for mine...

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I lived with my best friend in college and well... We haven't spoken in six years.

I don't recommend living with a friend at all but since you've done it before, just split bills. She can give you half the bills or you can give to her.

Good luck!

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You might have lived together before, but for how long? Close quarters with even a good friend, can prove to be too much.

I've heard it said, the best way to ruin a friendship is to move in together.

Be very sure.

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We lived together, shared a 1 bedroom, went to the same course at Uni and were basically together 24/7 and it did affect our friendship a bit.. She was entering into a crappy relationship near the end, and I was coming out of an abusive, alcoholic one.

We've talked about moving back in together since she moved out! Now I'm leaving the same crappy relationship, again, and she has been single for a year +. I know with her and i both working different jobs we won't see each 24/7 and we both like different things. She is in a bad place right now health wise and I know I can help her get some of her life back on track. Since 2012 she's probably gained 100+ lbs. We'll be working out together and preparing meals together.

We went over the room-mate agreement yesterday and settled on a few things. She'll have the power bill in her name and I'll have TV/Internet in mine. I'll clean bathrooms as she does not like to do that. We still need to discuss rent/chqs. DD is 50/50. Groceries will be 50/50. She'll pay gas money when going grocery shopping and if I take her anywhere.

We are both at a transition stage in our lives, and it could go either way. We could be besties for life or never talk to each other again. Only time will tell, and I think her and I need to experience living together without having to share so much space. We have a blast when together!

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Sounds like this will be a good move for the both of you. Seems like you two need a little support system that will be found in each other. Hope the move works well.

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So update..

Found a place on May 31, guy wanted a tenant for June 1. Ended up moving in June 1! Its a gorgeous main floor 2 bedroom condo. 6 appliances, the washer/dryer combo is weird and interesting! It takes 3.5 hours to do one load of laundry.

I have a few questions on keeping some things clean:

Glass-top stove? - I bought a special sponge but it doesn't work very well

Laminate wood flooring (dark) all through out the suite, except for kitchen and bathroom. - I can see little kitty foot prints and then our food prints everywhere. I bought a swiffer but it didn't really work.

Any suggestions?!

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how about a glass cleaner for the stove? i use a diluted mix of vinegar cleaner and water (with a mop) on our hardwood floors.

that washing sounds like it's german :P .

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how about a glass cleaner for the stove? i use a diluted mix of vinegar cleaner and water (with a mop) on our hardwood floors.

that washing sounds like it's german :P .

The landlord said the machine is very European as the condo board wasn't going to allow him to vent out and the building has laundry rooms already. Its pretty interesting!! I think this is the model we have: http://www.lg.com/us/washer-dryer-combos/lg-WM3988HWA-steam-washer

Do you use a fabric mop or synthetic mop? Would this work? http://www.vileda.ca/en/mops/flat/promist.aspx

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They make a special non-scratch cleaner for the glass top. You wipe it on, let it sit a bit and then use a non-scratch sponge to gently clean any buildup. Then just wipe it off with a paper towel.

You do have to be careful with those stove-tops. You want to avoid scratching it at all cost. You will want to pick up and move your pots instead of sliding them off the unit.

Good luck with the new place!

This is the one I use: http://www.hardwarestore.com/cooktop-magic-cream-101836.aspx?utm_source=pla&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=brand=weiman%20products%20and%20adwords_labels=housewares&utm_campaign=rkg&device=c&network=g&matchtype=&creative=20650489338&adpos=1o6

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I've used the cleaner made for ceramic tops. I don't like it. Here's what I do. Wait until the stovetop is cold, not even warm. Then wash it with a dobie pad and liquid dish soap. Wipe off the suds with a dry paper towel. Then wipe it off with a wet paper towel and dry it. Don't let anything sugary spill on it when it's on. Don't ever let a pan boil dry. It will fuse with the ceramic and (mine broke a piece out of it when I pulled the pan off.) All in all, a pain in the ****.

As Char said, don't scratch it with your pans or utensils.

http://www.amazon.com/Scotch-Brite-Dobie-Cleaning-720-1-Count/dp/B000VPCG60

Edited by jubal

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Wow. I've had my glass-top since 1997, and had no such problems. I love the thing for the ease of cleanup. Wal-mart carries a decent cleaner for them, easy to use. Just wipe a bit on and rub, then wipe it all off..Weiman glass-top cleaner.

Scratches? A few tiny ones in all those years, and I'm not all that careful with it.

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I'm late in the conversation, but a word to the wise, make sure BOTH your names are on the lease. When I was in undergrad, my roommate ended up squandering the money her folks were sending for rent and utilities. We had divided utilities (I had the electric in my name, she had phone in hers), and I had been writing her checks for my half of the phone bill, which then was not paid. Came home one day, phone had been disconnected. I ultimately was able to get the phone in my name only after jacks were disconnected and a lock installed on my door. We'd each pay our own half of the rent directly to the apartment complex. She wasn't paying, ended up being threatened with eviction for non-payment and the complex came after me for her share. In the mean time, her parents moved her out of the apartment and I was stuck. Apartment complex took me to court (which they lost) since both names were on the lease. Court ruled that BOTH of us had to come back, she no-showed for court, I likewise took her to small claims court for everything as well. Her parents showed up for that one, I won the judgement and the judge ended up admonishing her parents in front of the court. Ended up having her wages garnished until her parents finally paid the rest due. Was not pretty.....

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We are both on the lease. I have TV/Internet in my name and she has power in her name. Our landlord owns the suite, and said we can e-transfer him the rent, and separately if we want to.. She's not the type to screw someone over, super religious. She would just find a room-mate if she wanted to leave.

The one thing that is getting to me, is she is soooo friggin messy and will only clean anything if I ask her too! and she always says just tell her to clean up, but i feel bad asking her to do stuff. Her room was bothering me so much because she hadnt put anything away so I did it all lol, its now even messier.. I ask to her put the dishes away a few times, and have had her sweep the kitchen/living room. Everything else I have done so far. And I know when I PMS i'll probably get annoyed with it all and say something mean and I dont want to do that. I also dont know how to bring up cleaning things without sounding grumpy even tho we had previously discussed it! I get that its hard for her to stand and move around, but still...

But, I think her wanting to live with me has a lot to do with her health and loneliness. I'm trying to get her to eat better and be more active :)

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Make her a chart dividing chores and listing who is responsible for what, and when.

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The one thing that is getting to me, is she is soooo friggin messy and will only clean anything if I ask her too! and she always says just tell her to clean up, but i feel bad asking her to do stuff. Her room was bothering me so much because she hadnt put anything away so I did it all lol, its now even messier.

But, I think her wanting to live with me has a lot to do with her health and loneliness. I'm trying to get her to eat better and be more active :)

you sound like a very kind person. just be careful that she doesn't become dependent on you to be her "crutch". i'm assuming that this is an adult, and seems a little like she's turning you into her mother which you're not. this can turn into resentment over time, and it can spoil a friendship.

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