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Very nicely stated Heidi.  This is why I usually don't give much input on bigger issues as I am not good at putting words to paper.  Now in person verbally it is easier to express properly.

 

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On 12/1/2018 at 3:09 PM, Heidi n Q said:

I understand the anxiety of pulling back and caring only for your own while having to watch the others fall into a state of neglect .... but you are going to have to figure out something you can live with. 

You may have to stop explaining or asking and just tell him your horses will be done every 8wks and since you're catching your own, his will be done as well.  Perhaps the compromise will be you keeping your horses on a schedule you prefer while his are on a more elongated (perhaps every 12wk, 4x/yr) schedule.  When he does the do-they-really-need-it argument, hand him that argument right back and baldly tell him that making the minis wait that long between trims is willful and deliberate neglect on his part.  Heck, add in how badly it hurts your heart to see their hooves be so badly neglected.  Poke yourself in the eye and work up some tears, if you think it will sway him! 

Regarding the sale of the minis and the effort put in by the girls while they receive no monetary compensation .... that is a family matter and I'd stay well out of it. If he balks at paying for routine farrier maintenance what makes you think he's gonna get a heart and give some of that money to the kiddos?

As for the kiddos and showing, it should be approached as pay-to-play.  If they don't put in the grunt-work they can't step in at the last minute and enjoy the fruits of someone else's labor.  I like the idea of using the accountability chart.  It sets clear boundaries and requirements.  If she puts in the effort, great!  If not, she gets back exactly what she put in.  She needs to be introduced to the NILIF system - Nothing In Life Is Free.  The chart can be used to visually drive that home since you would have something physical to show her exactly what her effort, or apathy, have earned.  If your heart balks at doing that to the child, tell her you refuse to pay for someone who isn't putting in physical effort during the non-show portion of the year and she will have to come up with the entry money on her own.  If she manages to find/get the money, she shows.  If not, she doesn't.  

Finally, between the lines, I am picking up on your frustrations.  I will reiterate that you will have to come up with a solution you can live with.  To help with your frustrations about handling the minis, remind yourself you are keeping your horses there for free and the cost to you (in lieu of board) is your time catching/handling the minis for their care that he pays for.  And that is still a good deal even if he isn't paying for your horses' trims.  If it is bothering you that he shrugs off your time/effort of handling, catching, prepping and advertising, bill him for your time, especially if you think your time/efforts are exceeding the value you place on your horses being on his property for free.

What it boils down to is this: You need to decide how you are going to think of this arrangement. 
You need to decide whether the costs of your time/energy outweigh the benefits of keeping your horses there or if you need to cut all of your equine ties with him.  Decide to let him do his own thing with his own animals and family or decide if you wish to remain involved, and to what degree that can be for your peace of mind.

I am sorry I haven't appeared to be supportive with this post but sometimes we need things baldly stated to jar us into discovering how we truly feel about a situation.  I hope I've been helpful in that manner and it helps you discover how you truly feel and what you can, and can't, live with.

I dont know why you think youve jarred me, cause you havent. And I found your post supportive, so thank you!!

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8 hours ago, QueenBAW said:

I dont know why you think youve jarred me, cause you havent. And I found your post supportive, so thank you!!

I'm glad.  I posted and re-read it and thought it could sound blunt.  Your frustration came across and I felt it could be beneficial if I pared things down to what you can/can't live with.  You are in an unenviable position (re: your efforts at proper care for his minis) and I hope you are able to find a solution that works for you.

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Good Morning!!!!!

Hope you all are having a good start to your day or for you that are lucky enjoying your warm cozy bed.   We have got Stuff No One Wants trying to hit the ground.  For all I care the dusting we have is more than enough.  

 

 

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I am home sick today...I did go into work because I woke up too late to call out, and I thought that if I just get moving and take a shower I would feel better. Nope. It was all I could do to make it to work. I felt so bad I could cry. My charge nurse graciously let me go home. I hardly ever call out sick and they know that. Stopped at the store and got some Mucinex extra strength, orange juice, lemons, honey, and loose tea. Took the mucinex and drank some oj and my sore throat is gone..thank goodness! Im scheduled to work tomorrow and at this rate it looks like Im on the mend. Ill rest up til then. Hope everyone has a good day!

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Oh, man!  I hope you feel better for tomorrow, QB.  

I'm off today and going to the movies w/ a friend.  We are going to see the 2nd Fantastic Beasts movie.

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Flurries here so I rushed out to the grocery. There was no one there. It was nice shopping without a lot of traffic.

QB, you're supposed to mix honey, lemon and Bourbon. It might not cure you but you'll feel better,

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Oh hot toddies are great for a cold.  

Jubal I went shopping early afternoon today & it was a zoo at the store.  

So after picking up Shortman from school we went to water & feed the ponies.  Because the tank had to get dumped & refilled we had a good hour to kill.  I got some more projects done, Shortman cleaned out his old sand toys & took them to the new neighbors only to come back with a plate of fresh made cookies.  Neighbors have 5 kids all under 6yrs & younger.  Figured the outdoors toys would be something they'd like.  Then off to dinner we went, course we had the dogs along.  Needless to say someone ate something on the farm they shouldn't have because it really is no fun coming back to a vehicle with a dog mess.  Not sure on where to begin cleaning this disaster up. 

FYI.....cookies were safe in the glove box.

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RRW, you saved the cookies!  That was good thinking.  

We were cold, then warm and pouring down rain for a few days, now cold again.  30s tonight.  Weather roller coaster ride in the South.

The sheep barn is almost done.  It's only 8 x 12, but that should be enough room.  That is the last building we needed.  Now, all the animals will be where we planned to have them.  With the sheep out of the horse stall, cleaning will also be easier.  Their spot is a small pasture with their barn.  We can close up the barn and allow air flow, so lambs are safe from coyotes and bobcats.  The summer lambs are grown up now, but our next batch will be safe.

Vet is coming tomorrow for boosters and to evaluate Libby.  She is having a rough time.  I stopped horse shopping for now.  Too busy with holidays and Freckles needs a little refresher training.  I'll focus on getting him going nicely before adding another horse.  

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Five kids under the age of six? I'm tired just thinking about that.  Doggie doo-doo in a closed up vehicle? Eewww!

The overnight snow didn't happen so I'm venturing out to find a car wash and go to lunch with my sister. My truck looks like an off-road vehicle that's actually been off-road. I don't have any idea how it got that muddy.

Tomorrow is St. Nicholas Day. Be sure to leave your shoes out for a gift!

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Jubal, he ralph'd in the back seat.  So when get the truck back from the shop gonna have to take it to the car wash to hose the rubber mat & then figure out how going to get the seat cleaned in the cold.  Just might use the vac at the car wash.

LC, there must be a cold snap going across the country.  We are to have mid teens for daytime high the next 3-4 days, then it is to warm up again.

 

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LC,   Always enjoy reading about your adventures on the farm,  it is always interesting & well written,  sheep & goats are about the only critters I have never had alot of exposure to. But my daughter  has raised both & enjoyed them.

RRW,  Glad you saved the cookies, but your dogs lost theirs,  never pleasant experience to have to clean up a mess, but one that you will remember for a while.  I wish you better days going forward.  PD

 

 

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Hope everyone is well and staying warm! We are to get that nasty white stuff Saturday:mecry:

RRW, you can clean your car seats with a foaming carpet cleaner. I think the one I used is called Tuff Stuff.

I just read an interesting fact about mules. A mule with one bell shaped cut in it's tail will pack. Two bell cuts will pack and drive and 3 bell cuts will pack, drive and broke to ride. My grandfather raised and managed the mules for the railroad. He would have up to 100 on his farm.

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Edited by Danyel

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Not the first or last time we have sickie poo cleanup in the truck.  Just a pain in the *** to clean when it is freezing out thats all.  Heck with Mickey I kept an emergency cleaning kit in the truck because once in a while she would get car sick.  

Danyel, thats cool about your grandfather's farm.  

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I have a gallon of carpet and upholstery cleaner that is magic. I bought a rotisserie  chicken at the grocery that I think they inject with grease. It leaked all over the cloth truck seat. You put this stuff on and rub it around with your finger tips and wipe it off. Spot's gone! Amazing! Its called Folex. (No, I have no monetary interest in the company.)

The snow held off so I got to go to lunch and a second hand shop. My wanderlust is cured for about a week.

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Danyel, what do you mean by a  bell shaped cut? My uncle always had mules. He'd use them to haul freight in a spring wagon and he'd dig basements with them and plow gardens. I think mule handling takes a special personality. I don't think I could do it but I like to watch them work.

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12 minutes ago, jubal said:

Danyel, what do you mean by a  bell shaped cut? My uncle always had mules. He'd use them to haul freight in a spring wagon and he'd dig basements with them and plow gardens. I think mule handling takes a special personality. I don't think I could do it but I like to watch them work.

Jubal, they cut the top layer of hair down the tail for the first bell and go on down the tail for 2nd and 3rd cuts. The hair fans out looking bell shaped. Hard to explain but like cutting your bangs but leaving a layer under them!

Jubal, I added a picture in my original post.

Edited by Danyel

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^^^That's neat. So that's how the railroad identified what each mule could do? Or was that done for sales? Who needed that info?

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Danyel  You increased my knowledge,  I've seen the tails cut like that before, but didn't know it had a meaning,  but sure makes alot of sense.  PD

 

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2 minutes ago, noponies said:

What if they ride and drive, but don't pack, or just ride?

Noponies, I think their basic training started with packing and then driving, etc. The Army started this.

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Just wondered. I have known a lot of muleriders, but it was rare for them to pack. Some had draft mules for driving.

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What a smart way for identifying who is trained for what.  Especially if they are dealing with a large herd.  This is my "Learned something new today" moment.

Well yesterday we got the tree & Shortman didn't pick out as tall of one as I had thought he would.  Its a good 10ft tree & just round enough but doesn't take up the entire room.  Sadly we already had enough ornaments to fill it up. Do I sound disappointed, yes.  It is always fun going & picking out ornaments.  We will have to move it to the corner because what a surprise someone wants to put a train under the tree.

 

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I ended up calling out sick yesterday too. The nursing supervisor was surprised I was calling out and knew I must be really sick. Good thing I stayed home because just as soon as I felt good enough to leave the couch..my hot water heater busted, literally. I was able to catch it within a couple minutes and the landlord sent someone over right away. No water damage done. Reason #4 why I rent lol. I had plans to go to a play with friends that evening and while the maintenance guys got the hot water heater replaced, there wasn't enough time for the water to heat for a shower. So, I endured a cold shower...sweet baby jesus I think I sent my body into shock. The play was fantastic and I took a nice hot shower when I got home last night. Still haven't kicked this cold or whatever it is I have going on. My body doesnt ache as bad and my sore throat has been gone but my sinuses are still full, my appetite isn't what it was and I still feel like I could sleep for a week. Ill go to the doctor Monday if I cant kick it for good over the weekend. I have to work this weekend and of course we're supposed to be getting a bunch of snow Sunday. Booo hissss. 

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