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little cow

Has anyone not been sexually harassed?

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57 minutes ago, Proud Dad said:

     I can agree that a man should never force himself on a woman,  the type of dress shouldn't make a difference, but can, if they meet in a bar where both have been drinking,  & affects their judgement, it could cause a man to get to do something he might regret later.  But as a hole sexual assault is more about power  over a woman than the sex it's self.  Neither is acceptable.

  But to put the shoe on the other foot, there are women that will entrap men, to muddy their name, or blackmail them for some other reason.  Granted they are few, but do exist. PD

 

Exactly that PD. As far as women or men using and taking advantage of delicate situations. It's not right. I think a member of Congress just went through something like this. Woman not only tried to blackmail the man but she shared personal photos that were given in confidence.  The term for this is SIut Shaming or revenge ****. Not cool and she deserves whatever she gets as far as the legalities go on that matter. 

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They HAVE the choice. Its been many years since they were FORCED into that mold. And if you haven't got the brains or the willpower to actually help yourself, you have no right to whine about your position and blame others for it. This is true in ALL things.

 

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Women have used their sexuality to get what they want, way before the casting couch, it goes back to biblical times.

 On the one hand, men shouldn't expect anything because of the way a woman dresses/presents herself, but, there's another hand, a woman shouldn't expect to be taken seriously or, seen as a smart business woman, if all of her goods are on display.  Bottom line, a woman should not be surprised, or offended if a man ' notices ',  what she's putting out there.

Edited by equicrzy

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42 minutes ago, noponies said:

They HAVE the choice. Its been many years since they were FORCED into that mold. And if you haven't got the brains or the willpower to actually help yourself, you have no right to whine about your position and blame others for it. This is true in ALL things.

 

 That's just it, a woman gets what she wants through sexual favors, it's the man's fault....very little is usually said about the woman who made the choice to prostitute herself for a job.

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4 minutes ago, equicrzy said:

Women have used their sexuality to get what they want, way before the casting couch, it goes back to biblical times.

 On the one hand, men shouldn't expect anything because of the way a woman dresses/presents herself, but, there's another hand, a woman shouldn't expect to be taken seriously or, seen as a smart business woman, if all of her goods are on display.  Bottom line, a woman should not be surprised, or offended if a man ' notices ',  what she's putting out there.

Exactly. How can you expect to be taken seriously if you look like you work in a brothel? And why do you feel you have the right to have it both ways? If you want to be taken seriously, do what MEN have to do, and dress for it.

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What would YOU think of a man walking around with the round parts of his dangly bits on display? And no, it really IS NOT different.

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9 minutes ago, noponies said:

What would YOU think of a man walking around with the round parts of his dangly bits on display? And no, it really IS NOT different.

What one thinks is not the issue. It is about what people DO. 

Edited by TigerLilly

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I think this is drifting away from the point, which is sexual assault.  What are the roots of it?  It's really an attitude of "she deserved it" that makes it harder to get really bad people off the street.  This is why it's okay for them to walk free.  "She was asking for it".  I know many are offended by what is worn in public, and I myself typically dressed ready to join a convent, but that's us.  If you are from other cultures, you let it hang out and expect public compliments.  The comments don't lead to anything, unless there is a different dynamic.  I think our own prejudices get in the way when a woman dresses provocatively.  Heck, if it's a stranger, that might be her church outfit, lol!

Try this scenario, let's say a woman in Pakistan is arrested and imprisoned for nothing more than wearing a skirt that stops below her knees.  There are men rioting outside the prison to break in and take her out for some street justice (public murder).  Where does your sympathy lie?  Does it really matter what she wears?  Why do you let it bother you?  Most cities have decency laws.  If someone is truly falling out of their clothes, you can call the cops.  Poor taste is not illegal, however.  

Edited by little cow
mispelling

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36 minutes ago, equicrzy said:

 That's just it, a woman gets what she wants through sexual favors, it's the man's fault....very little is usually said about the woman who made the choice to prostitute herself for a job.

Oh, I have to disagree about that.  PLENTY is said about women who sleep their way up. The worst part is that I have heard people say it much more often about women who are not doing anything.  They just gossip and snipe that she must be doing something with the boss because she is doing better than someone else with sour grapes.  Women can be very cruel to other women this way. 

The other popular gossip is saying that since that woman turned a man down, she must be a lesbian.  This is heard more often from men.  Both actions are despicable.  

So, I guess the point is that sometimes it doesn't matter what you do or don't do.  The workplace can be very unfriendly.  

Blackmailing men is done as well.  The thing men can do is not to have one on one conversations with women behind closed doors without a witness.  

Edited by little cow

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This comes from a college class I had years ago that I thought was thought provoking. Figured I would share.

Woman goes out to the bar in very short shorts and tank. She looks cute and sexy. She flirts with a man and he buys her a drink but after a bit she realizes she is not interested after all. For whatever reason that she does not have to justify she has decided to leave. But that man thinks she is dressed too provocatively to go home alone and after all he did buy her a drink. So in his mind she either owes him or she is a tease. 

Or she goes out and and the man offers to buy her a drink but she declines. Well then she is just an ungrateful wentch. How dare she come into this bar dressed like that and turn me down.

Or let's say she does choose to go home with the man. She has a mutually consenting one-night-stand.  Well then she is a loose woman. 

What if she went home with a man but she changed her mind at home. Well he put too much work into this so he rapes her. She wanted it anyways, just look how she was dressed. You do not dress like that if you do not want it, right?  She should have known better and she got what she deserves. 

An escort goes out dressed seductively. She has no interest in taking clients she is just out with friends. A man noticed her from previous occasions. But tonight he wants services on the cheap. Slips her a pill in her drink. So what, she is an escort. She gives it out all of the time to anyone who pays. What she doesn't know won't hurt her and the police won't help her because I know she is just an escort.  And in everyone else's eyes she doesn't have ownership of her own body. 

It gets worse.

A street prostitute is picked up by a John. Nobody knows who she is with or where she went. She just disappeared. She is just a prostitute. No big loss. It happens again to another prostitute and another. Word on the street is that girls are coming up missing. Cops won't bother with it until there is a public outcry. These women made their choice.Then a local young lady comes up missing. They eventually find her deceased along with all those missing prostitutes nobody really cared about.  Had they valued the lives of those worthless prostitutes at all, maybe that last girl would not have died? Those prostitutes are as much a victim as the young lady. 

Where do we draw the line on who is valued and who is just trash that deserves what they get? 

I know these scenarios are uncomfortable and they are not meant in any way as an attack on anyone here. This is an exercise in challenging perspectives. And can be used for both women and men. 

 

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NO ONE deserves violence. I have nothing but respect for MOST women. Even prostitutes, who are, after all, just working a job. But there are some few women who just don't earn any respect, by their own actions. They don'r deserve violence, but they don't deserve much respect either.

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TL, Your post is full of loaded questions, but does make a person think, different  people look at all these situations differently. But all comes down to no one has the right to mistreat other people, & no one should be devalued, by how they make their living. Many prostitutes are forced into these professions, either by being kid napped, or having a drug problem, or both.  I don't have the answers, but it is my belief, that we should treat others the way we would want to be treated. And if we did, none of this would be a problem, unfortunately there are many troubled people out there, that take advantage of those weaker than themselves, because that is only power they have. And I have no respect for Power trippers.  PD

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1 hour ago, Proud Dad said:

TL, Your post is full of loaded questions, but does make a person think, different  people look at all these situations differently. But all comes down to no one has the right to mistreat other people, & no one should be devalued, by how they make their living. Many prostitutes are forced into these professions, either by being kid napped, or having a drug problem, or both.  I don't have the answers, but it is my belief, that we should treat others the way we would want to be treated. And if we did, none of this would be a problem, unfortunately there are many troubled people out there, that take advantage of those weaker than themselves, because that is only power they have. And I have no respect for Power trippers.  PD

Exactly, and its just as much female as male.

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18 hours ago, noponies said:

Exactly, and its just as much female as male.

in what context?  we have male with male (sometimes adolescents) the kevin spacey case.  name me one sexual assault case in which a women has been accused by a man.  it's not about sex.  it's about power and abusive  behavior in general. 

 

and then we have the lovely roy moore who also argues that all those women (including minors LIED).  women in the south dance to a different drum I guess.  not with their sisters. 

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22 hours ago, little cow said:

You and I understand this, but some women, for whatever reasons, flaunt what they have.  Our society encourages this behavior through ads, movies, and tv shows that treat women like objects.  This goes back to your casting couch.  Scantily clad women roaming the streets aren't the big issue.  Society is the issue.  Too many women raised in a society that over values a women's body rather than her brain.  yes, I do think more women in high places could change things, but the resistance is powerful from men.  An objectified woman has limited power over her own destiny.  We know this innately, but women use what they have because they are not taught to trust their own brains.  They are not valued enough for other things.  

I beg to differ.  Heidi Klum  has used her body, face and brains to broker a billion dollars.   

 

and what is this "flaunt" nonsense.  you want to force women to dress like the women in the middle east.  guys can walk around in short shorts, tanks, and flip flops.   what?  you want to forbid women from driving cars too.  when men all over the world  stop telling women how to dress, feel, and behave that'd be a good start.

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actually, when women STOP listening to them it's the best start.  like in Saudi Arabia with driving :D.  women have to stop heeding this crap and stand up for themselves and one another. 

roy moore said slavery in America was a great time for blacks.  say what? 

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by the way, why is this conversation only about the plaintiffs and how questionable the assertions might be and not the alleged perps?    this is precisely why not more victims want to come forward, including minors. 

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19 hours ago, noponies said:

Exactly, and its just as much female as male.

this is total and utter distortion of the facts.    google sexual assault. 

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You would have to be a complete and utter moron to not understand women most definitely sexually harass and assault men, more than a little frequently.

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19 hours ago, noponies said:

Exactly, and its just as much female as male.

let's make it easy.  no slips anybody a mickey, and "no" means "NO",  if everybody would respect these two rules I think you'd see a lot less of this kind of abuse. 

and this is kind of orientation is starting to happen in major corporations throughout the US:

 

Unfortuntately our federal judicial system has now informed us they may not be equipped to deal with the sheer volume of sexual harassment cases that are already on the docket.  oh dear. 

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3 minutes ago, noponies said:

You would have to be a complete and utter moron to not understand women most definitely sexually harass and assault men, more than a little frequently.

I don't think i'm a moron and I have never harassed a man sexually but have been harassed.  I think I speak from a point of experience. and you? 

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available for all in google to view.  1 in 6 women in 2017 sexually assaulted, 1 in 33 men sexually assaulted, children under the age of 6 makes you want to weep. 

 

and what about all those catholic priests? those poor kids. 

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2 hours ago, nick said:

 name me one sexual assault case in which a women has been accused by a man.  it's not about sex.  it's about power and abusive  behavior in general. 

I have come across THREE cases where a woman sexually assaulted a man with charges brought against her when I worked at the Sheriff Offices.   
Or did you only want famous people noted?   :/


You are right.  It isn't about sex, but about power. 
And with that in mind, it doesn't matter WHO accuses WHOM, or WHAT their gender is - only that it occurred and it is ILLEGAL and prosecutable, if the victim will step forward.  It is attitudes like yours ("name me one sexual assault case in which a women has been accused by a man.") that perpetuate the stigma surrounding sexual assault of men by women and weighs in their decision to not step forward and publicly accuse their abuser.

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