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little cow

Has anyone not been sexually harassed?

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5 hours ago, nick said:

I beg to differ.  Heidi Klum  has used her body, face and brains to broker a billion dollars.   

 

and what is this "flaunt" nonsense.  you want to force women to dress like the women in the middle east.  guys can walk around in short shorts, tanks, and flip flops.   what?  you want to forbid women from driving cars too.  when men all over the world  stop telling women how to dress, feel, and behave that'd be a good start.

You very much misunderstood what I wrote if you are equating me with men in the Middle East.  Perhaps heading up a few posts might help with context.  I have been defending women, in many different posts, regardless of what they wear.  Again, all humans should be treated with respect, regardless of what they wear.  Please read before flaming.  

Edited by little cow

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3 minutes ago, little cow said:

You very much misunderstood what I wrote if you are equating me with men in the Middle East.  Perhaps heading up a few posts might help with context.  I have been defending women, in many different posts, regardless of what they wear.  Again, all humans should be treated with respect, regardless of what they wear.  Please read before flaming.  

The nick appears to have a strong tendency to deliberately misunderstand, for the sake of stirring the pot.

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stirring the pot is important to create a conservation.  otherwise it's a monologue or a soliloquy.   or a rant

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I beg your pardon?

  no personal attacks.  read the rules.  how can you judge my personal hygiene over the internet.   a cybernose? 

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i'd be delighted to.  shall we start with the suspension of the CEO of the Miss America Pageant?  or is that the "has anybody not been sexually abused thread"? 

or how about the ´children dying of starvarion in Venezuela?  or the ryonga women in Bangladesh refugee camps in terror of being raped every day.

or oranguatans being killed, poached or sold in the wild life trade that trump wants to make legal again, 

 

puhlease we have bigger fish to discuss here when a conversation is even desired the way it used to be.  and something came out of it.   

 

don't like the fire?  don't participate and put me on ignore. 

 

 

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Put you on ignore .... why?  I think it would be more productive to actively ignore you with a there-she-goes-again (being deliberately obtuse, confrontational and/or condescending) and continue on my way.  Bye, Felicia.

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If we want to add sexual assault to this topic, that's fine by me.  We've strayed into that territory enough anyway.

I think it's important to remember to give women the benefit of the doubt while exploring the facts of their case.  What is it like to be a victim of sexual assault?

Read this:

https://www.rainn.org/articles/reporting-law-enforcement

Edited by little cow

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1 hour ago, Heidi n Q said:

Put you on ignore .... why?  I think it would be more productive to actively ignore you with a there-she-goes-again (being deliberately obtuse, confrontational and/or condescending) and continue on my way.  Bye, Felicia.

Loud applause!

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"Bye, Felicia!" was a line in the 1995 film "Friday" starring Ice Cube and Chris Tucker.

Bustle.com says:
So how did "
Bye, Felicia" become an internet meme in 2014? According to Know Your Meme, the phrase first became "a thing" in 2008, when a user uploaded a definition to Urban Dictionary as a "farewell, or go-away, to someone deemed unimportant."

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 Do hope the Christmas season can temper some of the frustration people have towards one another.  There are many wrongs in this world,  we can discuss them, but very few that we can fix. PD

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On ‎12‎/‎24‎/‎2017 at 1:31 AM, Heidi n Q said:

Put you on ignore .... why?  I think it would be more productive to actively ignore you with a there-she-goes-again (being deliberately obtuse, confrontational and/or condescending) and continue on my way.  Bye, Felicia.

I completely agree.  and why my profile name is "joan" is beyond me. 

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Well, that seems like a rude thing to post to anyone.  

I am struggling a bit with how much to communicate with abusive family members.  They have changed, or, at least, I'm not under their control, so it's easier, but it seems like there some things they do or say can open up old wounds in me.  Maybe not deliberately, but it still hurts.  I think I'll visit with our priest.  He knows the history a bit and has great advice.  Sexual assault/abuse leaves lasting scars.  :(

I'm glad there is this "me too" thing going on.  People mumble about how it's been decades, etc...  Well, I can tell for certain that it doesn't matter how long.  

The laws to look at are the statute of limitations.  I would say no limitations.  Moore should have charges against him, if there is sufficient evidence.  So should all those Hollywood jerks.  Police should be able to search their offices for cameras if there is sufficient evidence.  Perverts like that film this sort of thing to relive it later.  

Edited by little cow

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LC,   I can understand where you never get over sexual assault, & especially if it involves family members, as on occasion you have to see them, & family is suppose to protect, not be the one that assaults you. Sometimes you have to disown that person, in order to heal.  Glad you have your priest to talk to, that can take the weight off your shoulders sometimes.  Best Wishes. PD

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Thanks, PD.  I thought I had moved on and then events happened that opened it all up again.  The event is my brother trying to have children....twin girls.  He was never punished.  He never admitted wrongdoing.  He is married now, but has a very bad history of disrespecting women throughout his adult life.  His wife has no idea what he did to me.  My mom and dad know, but would never mention it to him.  I live 2,000 miles away and rarely ever communicate with him.  In fact, I am separating myself from both my mom and brother because of the things they did.  

If ever hear of anything happening to those girls....well, let's just leave that unwritten shall we?  Use your imagination.  

Edited by little cow

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I must agree.

If you say nothing, they have the girls and he abuses them .... you are complicit. 
If you say something, but he truly has changed .... you will have potentially ruined a family.  
Would you want someone to speak up on your child's behalf to prevent possible harm or would you rather wait until the harm occurrs?

This definitely is a volatile subject.  I think this is going to come down to a conversation you have with yourself about what you will and will not allow.  

IMO, you suffered at his hands and from his unwanted attention.  This is fact.  Regardless if he has (or hasn't) changed, I think the potential mother needs to be made aware.  Had he been prosecuted, he would be legally required to announce his child molesting status at every county he lives in - and she would have had that information available to her.  Currently, only a few people have that information.  Who will step forward?

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It must seem so obvious, but not that simple in reality.  My SIL and I aren't close.  I have spoken to her twice in total and I don't know if she will speak to me.  She speaks to my dad, but I don't think he would tell her.  My dad and I have just began this conversation, though, so we will see where it goes.  I know something must happen, I just don't know what.  I know my mom wouldn't in a million years snitch on her favorite child.  My half brother is the best liar I have ever known.  Even if I were able to get my SIL's cell number, he would counter with it all with lies.  It is not that simple.  I wish it was.  I should be able to meet with our priest this week.  He can help me sort out what I should do.  

The babies are being carried by a surrogate.  My brother, in his greed, chose the last IVF attempt they have by implanting twins.  The naturally higher rate for loss, on top of a normally 10% success rate, plus aged material to begin with, adds up to horrible odds.  A single would have a much higher chance for survival.  They have lost six babies already.  This last pregnancy is still in the first trimester.  I do have time to find the best way.  I am mentally prepared to estrange myself from my mom and her favorite child.  I believe this will be inevitable.  Her sympathy for me, when I finally told her about the abuse nine years ago, was fleeting.  She went back to normal almost immediately.  As if it never happened.  She will disown me without a second thought, especially with the promise of her favorite's babies to come.  Meanwhile, my half brother continues to manipulate our father (not his biological father, ironically enough).  Welcome to my mess of a family.  

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LC,   This is your family, & you no doubt know the best way to approach this issue, but I can also underdstand where it would be easy to turn your back & say nothing, as it sounds like your family has just about abandoned you.  Family is suppose to stick together, & not break apart, when it does, you are forced to make choices, as we all need people in our lives to give us support & not pull the rug out from under our feet.  I can't tell you what is right & wrong here, as you are the only one that can know what is right, but it would be very helpful, if you were not facing this alone. God Bless & Best Wishes.  PD

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LC, you are right.  It was very easy for me to speak my mind.  And I did so with little thought for your own turmoil.  I sounded like a pompous azz.  I'm sorry I was so insensitive. 

At the end of the day, everyone has to live with themselves, and you have already survived a very difficult time within your family.  Only you can know what you are able to handle.  Do the best you can, but take care of yourself first.  Your loyalty is to you and the family you have created with your husband and son.

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Heidi, I don't think you were being pompous at all.  None of you were.  Thanks for the input.  I am considering what to do carefully.  I will try to work out a way that gives a warning for the safety of the babies.  They are my first concern and the whole reason why this is all coming up now.  When the other babies never made it past a week or two, it wasn't an issue.  These are about a month along.  Still a long way to go, but they have made it past the first big hurdles.  I should be able to meet with the priest before the end of the week.  My oldest brother (great person and a wonderful brother) and my husband are helping me sort it all out as well.  My husband's opinion is the one I hold in the highest esteem.  He has always been there since I told him what happened and he understands the issues with my mom (he even told her off once).  

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On ‎12‎/‎20‎/‎2017 at 7:31 PM, equicrzy said:

Women have used their sexuality to get what they want, way before the casting couch, it goes back to biblical times.

 On the one hand, men shouldn't expect anything because of the way a woman dresses/presents herself, but, there's another hand, a woman shouldn't expect to be taken seriously or, seen as a smart business woman, if all of her goods are on display.  Bottom line, a woman should not be surprised, or offended if a man ' notices ',  what she's putting out there.

hi little cow, this is the typical response you get.   the woman or the child won't be believed or belittled as a trouble maker. "they asked for it".  total BS:      this is why you are a brave person and have to stand tall and cowboy up with your husband AND call the perps on it. 

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I got some great advice from our priest.  I think I will write a letter.  I want to give a chance for reconciliation.  I can see things from my half brother's point of view more easily now.  The bottom line is that we all had a horrible childhood.  He is a good husband now and I hope we can work through this together and heal.  My half brother spent ten years addicted to drugs.  Our mom didn't do him any favors.  She hurt all three of us, but just about destroyed my half brother by treating him better than us.  No one told him about his real father until he was 17.  He sensed something amiss all that time.  That really messes a person up.   My husband lost a step brother to drug addiction.  He was the favorite child, too.  The moral is that favoring one child seems to curse them rather than help them. 

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