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PinkTractor

Prayers Please

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I can't imagine the stress you and your family are under.  *sends good vibes, thoughts and more prayers*

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This is getting hard on me. She released her anger on me. I understand it's part of dealing with the awful news. I get it. But things that were said hurt. I know I was wrong place at the wrong time, but still.

Radiation started back up. Hair is falling out and chemo begins again next week. Still no MRI results. 

I'm in a wedding this weekend, still doing 90% of things at home alone, new job position is insane busy. This is just all a lot at once. I have no me time. I want to ride, just no time.

But, enough on me...it can always be worse, way worse.

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So sorry, Pink. Your mother is feeling bad and just venting and very frightened. Try to stay strong for her and take care of yourself. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you. Take a break and go riding.

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Pink, your mom probably feels just as bad about it as you do. I'd bet she will say so next time you see or talk to her. This too shall pass.

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Pink,  Only thing I can say is hang in there the best you can, I know this alot of stress on you, your mom is also dealing with alot right now, & to often anger gets directed at those we love the most. I'm sending you a couple hugs. :huggy::huggy: And good vibes for your mom.   PD   :angel3::angel3:

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Try not to think of it as her releasing her anger at you, think of it more as her fear got away from her and she couldn't control it.  This is a frightening time for your Mom and everyone who loves her.  There may be more little hiccups like this along the way, I know the words hurt, just do your best to let them roll off of you.  Like PD, I'm gonna send some (((hugs))) your way and echo that it is okay to let the house/yard-work slide so you can carve time out to ride.  Do something for YOU, the yard/house-work will still be there and it will get done when it gets done.

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Round 2 chemo started, 19 days radiation left. We are getting there.

A long road, but we're gaining on it.

Thanks for continued support.

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Thanks everyone. This past round of chemo was rough. My Momma had severe pain in her legs for two days and couldn't walk. Thankfully yesterday it cleared up. Spoke with doctor last night, they weren't concerned. But, no new scans until 6-8 weeks after radiation to see if any improvement. That kind of threw me off...but, they say if you do it before it can be a false reading. Sigh...even longer of an anticipation

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I wish cancer treatment was a sprint with a quick fix.  The anticipation mixed with equal parts hope and dread must be awful.

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Hi Pink - hoping for a smooth 6-8 weeks and then a good report!  Take care of yourself!

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I'm sorry for the wait.  Maybe you could try to keep upbeat and positive while you wait.  Regardless of the outcome, if your mom is happier, her prognosis is better.  If she feels well enough, maybe you could go do something fun together or have a movie night.  

Edited by little cow

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Oh I have been very upbeat and positive. Have to be - life is too short.

When it's my day to take her to radiation we usually stop and grab a snack somewhere on our way home. We spend plenty of fun time together, even if we're not outside the house. She's a tough cookie.

Thanks all -HUGS-

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Just a quick update. Doctor was on Monday - they sent her for a test yesterday to rule out blood clots in her lungs as she had some symptoms. Test came back clear (we're assuming since they sent her home) - so that's a relief. Down to 11 radiation treatments and two more rounds of chemo. The chemo is what really bothered her - so fingers crossed next week and the following round will be smoother.

I am going to get a tattoo in the next week or two. I want an arrow with a word such as strength, but in another language so most wont know what it says. I haven't decided on what word as so many are fitting. An arrow can only be pulled back before being shot forward. We have been brought to our lowest and we can only keep moving forward. This is my new daily reminder. I want it visible so when I think I'm in a tough spot I can look and remind myself that we were at our lowest....we can only keep moving on.

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Thank you - I usually only get something if it has meaning. I feel this is something I really want and have thought about it for awhile now. I just need to think of the right word. I'll have the word as the shaft of the arrow.

I do hope this next round is easier. It's so sad seeing your loved ones hurting and you cannot do a thing.

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Oh yes, I 100% agree. But the stabbing pains in her knees that made her unable to walk and actually cry was what broke my heart.

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Well...round 3/4 of chemo starts today. Butt, before that she had to get a blood transfusion. That should be wrapping up soon. Hoping this gives her energy. Thankfully her WBC were fine - it's her RBC that was down. Either a bleed or some dysfunction (I cannot remember name) that is causing them to break down too quickly. But, they had quite the drop. They were 12 last blood draw and 8 yesterday.

 

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Pink, :huggy:  Don't have the words to ease the pain you have to deal with.   Reading your posts, it touches my heart,  not easy to see those we love suffer the ups & downs of cancer. I wish you positive thoughts & results going forward. I hope your Mom has less side effects from chemo in the future, & has some good days to enjoy with family. Best Wishes & God Bless.  PD :angel3::angel3:

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*sends more good thoughts and cancer fighting vibes*  It sounds as if medical staff are keeping on top of things.  I wish I knew what to say, but I'm here lending support for you as you go through this with your family.  It's all I know to do.

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Hoping this round goes smoothly for your mom.  So glad you are there to help and support her, that's something that others don't always get a chance to do, and while it's hard, it's also special.  Sending you more positive vibes.

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Thanks all. The blood transfusion did wonders...she felt great today. Except the nurse at the hospital was a total awful person to her. My Mom reported her and will be talking to the higher ups tomorrow. Her port is blocked and she got sent for an xray, but they did it wrong and didnt view the whole thing. So she will have to get another tomorrow to make sure it's well. We are down to 4 radiation and 4 days of chemo. Then the waiting game...

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